Three Cheers for Tyranny

Chapter 17

Ray's funeral was beautiful, just like him. Frank and Gerard still hadn't talked but they were both shell shocked from Ray's seemingly sudden passing. All was not right in the world and Frank didn't know how to process it.

After the funeral brunch, Frank decided to walk home from Ray's parents house. He lived about twelve blocks away but he could use the time to himself. That was until a gentle rain began falling. Frank was so numb he didn't hardly notice. Half way home, the rain picked up and started to pour. Frank knew his shitty immune system wouldn't fare well in this weather but he couldn't find himself to care much more then that.

It took a few moments to realize a black car had slowed down and was following him along the sidewalk.

"Frank!" Gerard yelled. Frank frozen in place and looked over to see Gerard with his tie undone and his hair a red mess on his head. "Get in you crazy bastard".

Frank thought for a moment before slunking towards Gerard's car, opening the door and climbing in. The interior was all leather and he instantly felt guilty for his sopping wet attire. Gerard must have sensed what he was thinking because he responded to the unspoken apology.

"Don't worry about the interior, it gets detailed monthly".

Frank leaned against the passenger door as Gerard drove him the rest of the way to his moms house. Once he pulled in the driveway, he threw his car in park and turned off the engine.

"Thanks for the lift" Frank shrugged. "You didn't have to".

"It's not a problem, really. Can I come in? So we can talk?" Gerard asked shyly. Frank shrugged again and started to climb out.

Once inside Gerard sat on Franks bed as he went to shower and put on some dry clothes. Gerard took in the musty room around him and smiled. So many memories. So many great memories. Frank suddenly shut off the water in the attached bathroom and a few minutes later, came walking out in a ratty t-shirt and sweats. He joined Gerard on the bed but didn't say anything, hell he hardly looked up from the carpet.

"Frank, I want to apologize. For that night at Ray's. What I saw was pretty disturbing, but Christa told me what happened" Gerard started. Frank still didn't respond so Gerard continued.

"I'm also sorry about ignoring you. You drove all the way to New York for me to ignore you". Still no response from Frank.

"Frank" Gerard spoke softly, gently touching Frank's forearm but he still didn't react. "Please talk to me".

Gerard was getting frustrated with Frank on auto pilot but he tried not to let it spill over. Frank just buried his best friend, it was expected. Gerard stood up and started pacing the floor trying to figure out how to pull Frank out of his shell. He finally stopped and knelt in front of Frank, trying to meet his gaze.

"Frankie" Gerard whispered, lifting his chin to look him in the eye. Frank's beautiful eyes were swollen and red and he had fresh tear tracks. It broke his heart. "I don't want to lose you" he spoke softly. "I still want to try. Please let me try".

Frank stared at him for a few long moments before he surprised Gerard and spoke.

"I love you Gerard" he spoke, his voice raspy from limited use. "But I need some space. I need time. I'm sorry" and he looked back down at the floor. Gerard's heart sank. He didn't want to give Frank up but he remembered telling him that he wanted to take things slow. Frank was wonderful letting him take his time with a relationship. He needed to give Frank that same curtesy.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" Gerard asked gently, secretly hoping Frank would say no. He wanted to stay.

"If you don't mind" Frank responded, breaking Gerard's heart a little more.

"Ok" he whispered, helping tuck Frank into bed. Gerard hesitated for a moment but thought if this was the last time he would be this close to Frank, he didn't want to just leave. Gerard bent over and left a soft kiss on Frank's forehead. "I love you Frankie, call me if you need me". Frank's eyes were long closed and Gerard wasn't even sure he would hear him but he spoke anyway. After leaving a glass of water by Frank's nightstand, he grabbed his coat and walked out.

He didn't want to leave. Gerard wanted to curl up and hold Frank all night. But Frank asked him to leave, and as hard as it would be, Gerard respected that. He just prayed Frank would call him soon.

Gerard climbed into his car just as the rain started to ease up and the sky started to grow dark. He turned his headlights towards New York, leaving his heart with the short tattooed man with an attitude problem back in Jersey.

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This is the last regular chapter. The next one will be an epilogue. I'm not sure if I'll bring them back together yet or not but only time will tell.