That afternoon Ed and I talked, really talked. I told him everything that had happened to me that morning and what my mother had said to me, I left out the part where she said Ed was to blame for my increased amount of episodes. Why would I tell Ed this when I knew it wasn’t true, my mother was just looking for someone to blame. She has been doing that ever since I was diagnosed, she started off by blaming my dad for not giving me enough attention as a child. Then she was blaming my school, my friends, the rest of society and finally herself. It was nobody’s fault, I guess it’s just the way my brain works.
Today was just a bad day for me, I felt so trapped in my own head that it was crippling. If it weren’t for Ed I doubt I would have even left my room at all.
I place my thumb in one of his dimples and I give him a warm smile, he returns the grin and places his hand on my waist.
“Will you stay the night?”
I ask him in a whisper while moving my head into his warm chest, taking in his smell.
“I don’t know, don’t get me wrong, I would love to stay here with you but it’s just… well sometimes we forget that were still living at home with our parents and that it’s school night. It’s just gonna take some convincing that’s all.”
He was right, I was always forgetting this but I still really didn’t want him to leave.
“It’s ok, I don’t want to get you in any more trouble. How was detention last week by the way?”
I ask him with a smirk, he laughs at me then shrugs.
“It wasn’t too bad actually, except Missy was in there too the other day and she would not stop talking.”
I chuckle at the thought of Missy being in detention after school.
“What was she in there for?”
“Something to do with being late to class because she had to get her nails done, not sure”
I couldn’t help but glance down at my own nails, they were short and red. Nothing special about them in anyway.
“Do guys actually like long nails? Maybe I should do something about my own”
His hands grabbed mine and he stared down at my hands, making me self-conscious.
“I love your hands the way they are, I never noticed how dainty they are though.”
I tug them away and hide them under my arms and he laughs at me.
“That’s a good thing Loren! Besides you would hate having long nails, you wouldn’t be able to play guitar”
I nod in agreement and give him a cheeky smile.
“That’s very true! Oh before I forget, there’s a guy playing at the BLAMK bar in town tomorrow night, I thought maybe we should go watch?”
“Alright then, sounds good. Have any idea on how were going to get into a bar though?”
“I didn’t think that far ahead.”
I bite my lip in concentration trying to think of a way Ed and I could pass as adults for the night, it wouldn’t be so hard for me. A bit of red lipstick and a decent amount of cleavage should be enough to help me get in, if it’s a guy bouncer of course. Ed would be a lot more difficult unless he’s willing to go drag for the night, which I don’t think he would be too keen for.
“It’s alright, I so happen to know some people who work there, I’ve played a couple of gigs there before so we should be alright.”
I can feel my face brighten, tomorrow night is going to be perfect. It will be nice to go do something normal with Ed instead of hiding out in my room all weekend like we usually do.
