Sitting on my front step waiting for Ed to pick me up for school and I can’t shake this feeling of anxiety. We still haven’t talked about what happened the other night and I know he was curious, who wouldn’t be?
I was hiding something so huge about myself, He should be really upset with me but he isn’t?
He has told me everything about himself so why can’t I return the favour, I was scared if he ever found out he would treat me differently. Everyone else does, especially my mother.
I can see his red car driving up the street towards my house, I stand and throw my bag over my shoulder and begin to walk towards the car. Ed pulls up beside me and unrolls his window.
“Morning!”
He gives me a wide grin and I return it, I jump into the passenger seat and he leans over for a kiss. My natural reaction to someone moving so close to me is to pull away, I do the tiniest bit before I catch his smell and my brain tells me it’s ok to let him in.
I place my hand on the back of his head and kiss him softly, my fingers tangling in his wild orange hair.
I can feel his lips on mine pull into a smile and I begin to laugh, I look at him and instantly feel relaxed.
“Morning” I say with a small smile.
We pull up at school and begin walking hand in hand towards our English class together. Taking our usual seats at the back we settle in and get our books out.
I can hear the loud sound of high heels, looking up I should have known the only one ridiculous enough to wear shoes like that to school would be Missy Johnson.
She glares at me as she struts off to her seat, it was strange because normally she is more discreet about her hatred towards me.
The sound of the classroom filling up becomes louder as everyone begins talking about the dance and the rest of their weekend, I couldn’t shake the feeling people were talking about me.
My thoughts were interrupted when the principle walked through the door, the students go silent as the principle makes his way towards me and Ed. He stops before me with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Loren Clarkson and Ed Sheeran please follow me.”
I whip my head over to Ed and he seems just as worried as I do, we pack our things as the other students buzz with excitement and we follow the principle towards his office in silence.
We enter a large room with a massive desk in the middle of it, he takes a seat behind it and signals for us both to sit before him.
“Where were you both the night of the school dance?”
Mr.Flannigan’s grey eyes meet mine and I can tell this isn’t going to be good, I open my mouth to speak but Ed interrupts me.
“We were at the dance sir.”
The principle closes his eyes in frustration and rubs his hands through his balding head.
“Don’t play dumb with me boy, Mr.Pots told me you two left the dance at around quater to ten and said that I told you to remove some boxes from the hall, Then you never returned. So tell me where did you go?”
I looked at Ed and he seemed perfectly calm, he scratched his head then shrugged.
“We went back in through another entrance sir”
Mr.Flannigan was going red in the face and it was obvious he wasn’t going to believe anything that came out of Ed’s mouth.
“Bollocks! No one saw you go back inside Mr.Sheeran! Either of you! You have broken school rules and both of you will be going to after school detention this after noon and for the rest of the week!”
I sat there with my head down, too afraid to look at the principle. Ed however was determined to prove our innocence, well mine anyway.
“Ok I admit I decided to go home because the dance was dead boring but Loren went back inside, ask anyone from our table Sir.”
I turned to Ed and I could see his body language was tense, why would he lie for me? I was the one that wanted to leave so badly, the principle looked at me with his eye brows raised.
“Well Miss Clarkson, is this true?”
I began to stutter and I looked down at my fumbling fingers, I could feel Ed’s leg nudging my own from underneath the desk and I blurted out a yes.
Mr.Flannigan tucked away some sheets of paper into his desk before looking to me once more.
“You may leave now then Loren, I will of course be questioning those at your table at a later date.”
I stood up and walked out with my head down, I rounded the corner and sat at a wooden bench waiting for Ed to join me.
Ten minutes passed and finally I could see Ed’s blue jumper and orange hair, I stood up and my emotions got the better of me.
“Why would you do that!”
I punched Ed in the arm in anger and he flinched away from me.
“Hey! calm down! Why should the both of us get into trouble when it was my idea in the first place?”
I crossed my arms over my waist and I could feel my face burning hot.
“We could have had detention together at least, now we have to be apart for a week. Just don’t ever lie for me again!”
I turned on my heel and began walking away from him but I could feel his footsteps close behind, his hand tugged on my arm and he pulled me in to face him. His eyes were wide with sadness and his cheeks were pink.
“Don’t do that to me Loren, I’m not someone you can just walk away from! If I had known we were going to get in trouble for this I would have told you what I was going to say in advance. I tell you everything and you can’t even do the same for me!”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. He was upset with me that I didn’t tell him, deep down I knew it but I was too scared to believe it. I said nothing, I just let my head fall towards the floor and hoped he would just end it now and never speak to me again. His hands moved to my arms and he squeezed me gently.
“I just want to help you”
My eyes moved up and found his face, sunken with sadness and his eyes pale blue from the tears forming inside them. I spoke softly.
“I don’t need help Ed. I just want you…. you won’t want me when you know what’s wrong with me”
He seemed hurt by this and he took a step away.
“I told you I loved you the other night? I don’t throw that word around Loren. When you want to tell me you can but if you don’t that’s fine but don’t think that by telling me I won’t want you anymore because that’s bull shit and not true.”
I took in a deep breath and flung my bag in front of me, opening it I began to rummage through until I found one of the tiny orange bottles with the white lid. I reluctantly hand it over to him, he took it from me slowly and I watched his eyes begin to read the script pasted on it. I spoke in a sad, quite voice to ensure no one else would over hear.
“According to several doctors… I’m a paranoid schizophrenic.”
I avoid his gaze and wait for him to walk away, instead he takes a step towards me and places the bottle back in my bag. I look up at him and he gives me a gentle smile.
“I always knew you were crazy Loren”
I chuckle and feel an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders, Then he took me by surprise by planting a soft kiss on my lips. My arms wrap around his shoulders and I kiss him back lovingly.
I pull away and bury my face into his neck and whisper to him.
“I love you so fucking much”
He laughs and kisses my hair.
“Let’s take the rest of this class off, I think we deserve a smoke.”
I smile and pull away, taking his hand in mine.
“You read my mind.”
