Prinxiety One Shots

Day 5 - To be, or...

(Oops I meant to publish this like 2 hours ago then I forgot)

Hi y'all I'd like to preface this oneshot by saying three things

1) I'm sorry again that the last one was so bad

2) I don't know literal jackshit about Hamlet except from memes from the Sparknotes Twitter so this is gonna be as vague as possible mkay? Everything that isn't vague is from exactly one google search so be warned that this is probably wrong but w/e it's fine

3) It's another short one but this moves a lot more smoothly than the last one (fun fact it's somehow exactly as many words as the last one but better I promise)

Okay we been knew that Roman's a dumb bitch so enjoy

Ft. Logan and Virgil as siblings bc I do what I want plus some houseplants that Virgil really loves because houseplants are gay culture

Virgil's POV

I groaned as my alarm went off. I looked at the time on my phone, even though I already knew damn well what time it was. 6:30. We have an all-day rehearsal today. Well, Roman has a rehearsal, and I get to be there writing down every goddamn detail of the show so Logan doesn't have to. Remind me why the hell I agreed to be stage manager for him? I rolled over to wake Roman up.

"Babe, you have to get up, you have rehearsal today, and if we're late again my brother will kill me."

"Tell your brother to fuck off and let me sleep another ten minutes," he grumbled into his pillow.

"Cmon, we have to get ready." He groaned again. "I will physically drag you out of bed and to rehearsal."

After 5 minutes and a more than a few strategically timed kisses, I finally got him to get the hell out of bed. I tried not to laugh at him as he dramatically trudged through his morning routine. I had already watered our several house plants and started the car by the time he even got dressed.

We drove for a bit in silence because neither of us could be bothered to turn on the radio.

"You sure you're ready to go off-book today? We've only been rehearsing for a week."

"I'm sure I need to make an impression on the director," Roman said, "and that means proving that I'm capable of learning my lines quickly."

"I brought the script just in case."

"You're the best," he said as we pulled up to the theater. We walked in together and I greeted Logan. He told me what we were doing today and what I would have to do instead of saying 'hi' back. Whatever, it's not like I'm doing this as a favor for you or anything.

When the rest of the cast arrived, we got started almost right away. And by 'got started,' I mean we all watched Roman stumble through his lines until I got tired of telling him his line and just tossed him the script.

As Roman looked at his script for the fifth time that scene, Logan shot me a look.

"You said he was a good actor," he said.

"He is, I promise, he's just... not all that smart. Give him time to actually memorize his lines, and I swear, it'll be fine."

"This better work out, it's already frowned upon to have my brother's boyfriend as the lead role. I'd be ridiculed for picking favorites if he performed like this on stage."

"Don't worry, he would literally rather die than flop at a performance. Plus, I think you're overreacting, this is a local theater, not Broadway."

When Act 3 arrived, Roman set aside his script. "I know this monologue for sure, it's the most famous in the show," he said.

Rest assured, he did not know that monologue.

"To be, or..." I hoped and prayed he wouldn't say what I thought was coming next. "Line!" Yep, he did.

"Roman, come on, it's the most famous line in the play, or any play for that matter," I said.

"Yeah, I know... Oh! To be, or not to be. That... ugh. Line!"

"Is he drunk," Logan whispered to me.

"No, he'd know the lines if he was."

"How does that-"

"I don't know, but I've heard him do a perfect one-person recreation of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet when drunk. He still thinks that play has a happy ending, so obviously he doesn't know it that well."

"Well, that's a... conundrum," Logan said.

Around the end of Act 4, we called it a day. Roman got in the car, looking pouty.

"Are you mad because you didn't actually know your lines?"

"Why couldn't we do a fun play, with easy to learn lines?"

"I'll take that as a yes," I said, starting the car. On the entire ride home, he didn't uncross his arms, like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Ugh, stupid fall. It's only 6:30, it shouldn't be getting dark out yet," he complained as he got out of the car.

"Yeah, but isn't the sunset pretty?" I walked around the car to hug him from behind.

"Not as pretty as you," he mumbled, obviously trying hard to still sound aggravated.

"You better kiss up to me, I'm the main reason Logan hasn't demoted you to ensemble," I joked.

"Thank you," he said, and I could practically hear the soft smile in his voice.

"You done pouting?"

"At least until tomorrow," he sighed. "Let's go inside, I wanna watch TV on the couch with you and pass out there."

"Dork," I said, leading the way to the door. I stopped to water our beloved houseplants that Roman forgets about too often before collapsing on the couch. Roman put on Steven Universe and I fell asleep on him at some point.

The next morning, Roman was the one to drag me out of bed (or in this case off the couch), because I was far too comfortable to stand. Maybe our situations will flip today, and Roman can laugh at me while I act like a dumbass. Maybe Roman can water the plants for once. That would be nice.

I had to consult with my fellow queers bc I had the thought that they might have houseplants but I was like "wait are houseplants gay culture too or is that just a wlw thing"

TL;DR, I forgot everything that good omens has taught me

But I think I'm getting my life together ladies

Cheers, queers! 💖💜💙 and remember to hydrate, don't die-drate