Joonie || NamBTS

8) Confession time

Namjoon rinsed the blood from his thighs. He was never an admirer of pain, not even sexual, but there was something about this that made him feel at ease. It felt...nice. He had already dressed up his wound and changed into some loose black pants and a yellow hoodie, and now he was just relaxing on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He jumped when he heard the door open and a very excited jungkook jumped beside him on the bed, tickling him and kissing all over his face. For a minute, namjoon forgot about his pain and started giggling with jungkook but he soon whimpered when jungkook rested his knee on his thigh to hold him down.

"What happened, hyung? Baby, what happened? Are you hurt?", jungkook asked slowly, getting off from top of him. Worried about the elder, he cupped his face, lightly pecking his lips. "what's wrong?", he whispered.

"N-nothing, you just kept your knee on my thigh so it hurt a bit", namjoon replied sheepishly. Jungkook laughed a bit. "Ha! You're so cute! I love youuuu!!!", he giggled at the last part, looking at namjoon lovingly.

Namjoon felt like crying and slipping into little space right then and there. He had missed it. He didn't want to admit. Didn't want to remember but he missed it. Love.

They sat up quietly as namjoon smuggled into jungkook's side. Jungkook rested his chin on the elder's head, smiling to himself. "What's today?", the shorter asked after a minute or two. "1st of July... Why?", namjoon asked as he looked up. "You say", Jungkook replied.

Namjoon thought for a moment before his eyes widened. Shit! It was that day. The day where the members will sit together and confess whatever is making them happy or sad. They did this after every three months for better balance and to keep track of every member. No no no. He couldn't possibly tell them what he has been feeling. They would laugh at him or perhaps they just won't care. No, it couldn't be. He felt like crying. What if he breaks down? What if he can't stop himself from blabbering out everything? What if they'll be angry? What if he slips? What if- "You okay?", jungkook asked suddenly, breaking his train of thoughts and startling him.

"Yeah, just tired. I'm okay. Let's go", namjoon assured, starting to get up. But he was soon pulled by the younger on the bed again and he felt soft lips up on his own plush ones. Jungkook always kissed him tenderly. Cupping his cheek with one hand the other wrapped almost protectively around his waist. It made the elder feel all mushy and soft. He felt safe and secure in the younger's arms.

Their eyes were closed as their lips moulded into each other's, as if mad a to fit together. It was surreal. Almost too perfect to be real. So, Namjoon opened his eyes to see jungkook still kissing him, his beautiful eyes closed, namjoon brought a hand up his hair and let him kiss him lovingly. Smiling into the kiss, they parted, not before jungkook pecked namjoon's lips again though.

Together, they went to one of the guest rooms where they usually held this meeting. Jungkook holding namjoon's hand gently as if it was made of glass. The elder was doing everything to not slip. It seemed that his need to slip grew bigger after last night.

Everyone was already there. Their eyes fell on namjoon and they either frowned or shrugged, turning away from him except taehyung who smiled warmly at the two and patted the seat beside him for them to sit down. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at the odd behaviour but shrugged and made his way towards tae, smiling and giving him a small peck on the lips who smiled in return.

"Okay, so can we start now? We're already 6 minutes late because of some not so punctual people", seokjin said as he glared at jungkook and namjoon from the corner of his eyes. Jungkook just smiled apologetically while namjoon cowered and looked down.

"Anyway let's start with me", hoseok said, seeing it the right time to spill out whatever was going on with him. "Yeah, that's fine", jin nodded for him to continue.

"Yeah, so...I visited this um... website a few weeks ago, by mistake, obviously! B-but I...", hoseok trailed off. Yoongi, who was sitting beside him patted his thigh in comfort and told him to continue.

"Yeah, so I would really...um like to try that with you... I would tell you what it is afterwards! Now yoongi hyung", hobi finished, looking at yoongi to continue further.

"I... I might or might not have cried thrice a week for the past one and a half month and lied about having taken breakfast more than I should", yoongi said, blushing deeply as gasps and huffs filled the room. He ducked his head lower in shame.

"Yoongi, why were you crying? Is it about the song?", seokjin asked, crouching down in front of the younger, asking him softly. Seokjin breathed deeply when the shorter nodded. "It's okay, baby. Don't worry, you're so talented. We know it's difficult but you'll finish the song. And about not eating breakfast, what has happened has happened. But from now on, I'm not letting you go to the studio early without seeing you eat your breakfast first".

Yoongi groaned but Jin's voice was stern, clearly leaving no room for arguments.

Like this, followed by jungkook who apparently had nothing to confess, taehyung confessed being super stressed and sorry about how often he snapped at his members and the staff.
Everyone comforted him saying that it wasn't his fault and that they'll take more care of him and make sure he wasn't so stressed anymore.

They all settled down back on their seats as taehyung nuged namjoon. "Next should be namjoon", he said and held his hand for comfort.

Namjoon was scared. He knew he shouldn't be but after how Jin, yoongi, Jimin and hobi acted, he wasn't sure they'd want to listen to him. He wanted to open up about everything. Well, except the self-harm part. He wasn't ready for that. Finally, he decided that he'd tell them about his little space and self-hate. He wanted to let them know how he was feeling. And how sorry he was to have caused so much of troubles in the last few months. He took a deep breath to start speaking, but as he was going to say, yoongi interrupted him.

"Jimin, I want you to go first".