Joonie || NamBTS

6) Waste of time

Bts had a day off. Namjoon had a hard time getting out of bed (he decided not to sleep in the nest the night prior) and although he shouldn't be tired after the long night break, he was hella tired as he hadn't slept a wink. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. With all the voices invading his once peaceful head and stopping him from slipping into little space, it was too damb hard to try and even close his eyes for more than 10 mins. Needless to say, he looked like shit (according to him).

He had been hungry since yesterday but after the incident of the previous day, he hadn't dared eating dinner with them, much less going into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He would probably be a nuisance again. Now his appetite had fully disappeared though. He knew he should eat something, knew he shouldn't neglect his health as he always nagged at jimin nowadays when he did that but right now, it was the least of his worries. No one will care anyway. He shrugged.

He got up and went to the bathroom again, more limping than walking. Removing the bandage he wrapped around his ankle to stabilize it, he hissed at the angry and big red-blue bruise that had formed overnight. He looked at it disgusted as he discarded the bandage. When he touched it, it stung so bad so he clenched his teeth in pain as a small cry left his mouth. He wanted to cry out for help but unfortunately he was too proud to let his weak side show as he was the leader. He didn't want to tell the others, he didn't want to be a nuisance. A waste of time.

Namjoon washed his hands and looked into the mirror. God, he looked horrible. He had dark bags under his eyes and his skin had lost some of its tan, making him look paler than usual, it was pathetic. He looked so... ugly, weak. Not the way a strong leader was supposed to look like. Well, he's already not a prince so whatever. Sighing, he washed his face and dried it. He remembered what had happened last night, he didn't want the voices to come back, they were scary. They haunted him. He also noticed that he hadn't slipped into little space for 2 or more days, it got him worried but he chose ignore it. Better like this.

He washed up and felt a bit of energy coming to his body after washing his face and feeling fresh. He walked out of the bathroom.

A sudden knock on the door combined with an annoyed voice startled him.

"Namjoon, fucking hurry, how long do you plan to stay in there? My bathroom isn't working" It was Jin. Probably he was still angry because of the previous day. Namjoon quickly unlocked and opened the door, bending his head and mumbling a quiet 'sorry' as he squeezed his way past Jin. The latter just tsked and went into the bathroom, loudly shutting the door behind him.

Yep, he was still mad.

Namjoon sighed sadly and went into the kitchen. He figured he should try eating something, he knew how bad it could end to not eat, thinking back to the many times Yoongi had fainted due to malnutrition.

Speaking of Yoongi... Was he still mad at Namjoon? Probably. Namjoon had ruined the song he had put so much effort into, why shouldn't he be mad? Yeah, he's definitely mad. Namjoon was also feeling light headed. His heart hurt. Everything hurt. He loved how all his members would spoil him with all their love and affection. And now, even though he has his 4 other mates, he somehow feels lonely. He sighed sadly. Again.

As Namjoon stepped into the kitchen he saw that everyone else had apparently already eaten. Dishes were stacked in the sink and a few crumbs on the table. But Namjoon frowned. Usually Jin saved a plate of food for him, placing it on his seat. Now there wasn't any though. So it was like that. Jin must be very mad at him if he didn't give him food. If the eldest was angry at someone, he usually just gave them the cold shoulder but never was it that he didn't give them food. He really loved his mates. As the leader alpha of their pack and as their lover, Jin still cared about his beautiful mates, even if he was pissed.