Joonie || NamBTS

23) Perfectly fine

"Are you okay, baby?", Jin cupped his face as he asked. And jungkook felt his breath stutter for a bare moment. Is that how it felt? To be asked if you're okay when you know you're anything but okay? He sucked up the tears that burned the back of his eyes.

"Uh? Yeah? Wait why are you asking that?", he asked, trying to look as convincing as he could. God, he couldn't handle all these things right now. He needed to go out and get some fresh air.

Jin looked him up and down, "You haven’t showered in days, you haven’t shaved, and you’re wearing Namjoon’s clothes?", it was a normal sentence but jin couldn't help but make it sound more like a question. He was confused. He didn't know what was wrong with the maknae.

Shrugging slightly, Jungkook forced himself to laugh, "Listen, hyung. I’m just being lazy for once because everyone’s too busy with their own shit to bother me. In the first place, Namjoon hyung was the one who always nagged at me always telling me to go shower or go shave. And now that he's not here, I don't when to do what."

"But you do need to shower, kook", jin said sternly.

Jungkook laughed, smelling his armpit but waving a hand to dismiss him, "It’s okay I’ll shower at the gym after I work out. No worries!", he said cheekishly.

“Kookie, are you sure your okay? You’re wearing Namjoon’s clothes and I know you never wear our clothes unless you need someone’s attention.” Jin said thinking back to when Jungkook had suddenly lost 15 kilos in the span of a month before a comeback and would only wear Tae’s many oversized sweaters everyday to hide the fact.

Jungkook panicked a bit before quickly regaining his composure, his face turning red as he answered. “I’m kinda lonely in that room by myself, but I’m okay, I’m just doing my own thing really. I didn’t mean to worry you guys. Also, it should be me asking, are you okay? I know you’re really stressed with having to be the leader and deal with our difficult personalities..", he trailed off at the end, trying to look as disappointed as he was.

After all, he knew the trick. Assure them, partly confirm the speculation, and divert concern back in a full circle. Jungkook knew how to hide things pretty well, by just telling them part of the truth but not the whole truth, make them feel like they helped him solve some big issue, and making them feel like they were in a worse state than he was, it made them forget about him. It was pretty easy too because his boy-friends were almost always in some sort of distress so Jungkook who never displayed his true feelings felt it was easy to divert their concern for him back to themselves. He didn't need that anyway.

“Thanks for caring, Kookie. I’m doing okay, just a little stressed out. If it’s too lonely you can sleep with me or Yoongi. Any of us really", jin said smiling, letting out a relieved breath.

Jungkook smiled and nodded, widening his eyes and pretending as if Jin had just solved all his issues like he’d been fixed. "Really?", he put up a mask so excited that no one could actually tell that he was lying, that nothing was actually fixed.

"Of course," Yoongi's voice came out of no where, startling them both. Hoseok trailing behind him.

Hoseok spoke up after yoongi, "Fuck yeah! Kookie, you can sleep with me too!" He winked and wiggled his eyebrows causing the others to laugh while Taehyung who was coming downstairs while drinking his water nearly choked.

"Wow, you’re such a pervert, hobi hyung! Kookie, sleep with me, instead", taehyung smiled. This made jungkook wonder why they couldn't go back to sleeping in the nest together instead of fighting each other over him. He wondered what had changed after namjoon left that they all withered like beautiful flower petals in the early autumn morning, knowing that they were never meant together, as if they were going to fall apart anyway.

"Don’t say that about me! I’m older than you!” Hoseok slapped Taehyung's arm and the two erupted in more laughter as they teased each other.

"Well you better shower Kookie or you can’t sleep anywhere, I can smell the sweat on you", jin said, smiling at the younger with so much adoration that he could spill out tears just there.

Jungkook smiled and felt a sense of almost ruminant sadness that no one noticed. As if he wanted them to notice something was wrong but tried so hard for them not to. He tried to push the entire conversation into the back of his mind as he ran on the treadmill.

"Think of something else… anything else."
_____________________________________

While at home, bts members were all gathered on the couch, discussing about their youngest boyfriend.

"Hyung, what do you think is wrong with jungkookie?", Jimin asked worriedly as taehyung carded his fingers through his soft blonde locks.

Everyone seemed to think for a minute before taehyung broke the silence. "I like to think there's nothing wrong since the kid has always been weird and annoying but I know there's something wrong. And I'm not even just assuming. I know so because he's not even being weird or annoying and that's something very out of his character", he finished, worry and anticipation clouding his mind as he thought about all the possibilities.

"I don't really think there's something wrong, though. Do you, hobi?", yoongi asked, looking at hoseok through the corner of his eyes. He really didn't think there was something going on
with his youngest boyfriend. But that could be because he was never home these days.

Hoseok shook his head in denial. "He seems perfectly fine-","Namjoon seemed perfectly fine, too", Jin, the alpha leader, who had been silent all throughout the little conversation suddenly piped up, his alpha voice coming to life, making him sound even more dominant and serious than he already was.

At this, none of them said a thing and hung their head down in guilt and shame.

"We need to talk to him. And we need to be together after this. This is a crucial moment and we can get through this, only if we're together", jin said and everyone agreed without questioning further.

Little did they know, someone was listening to all this with tears in his eyes with his steps backed away, apart from them all.