Joonie || NamBTS

21) If only

"Namjoonie, baby, how are you feeling?"

"It's me, baby"

"Please open your eyes, just for me?"

Jackson's smooth voice rang through Namjoon's ears as he slowly fluttered his eyes open.

Jackson quickly got attentive and started rubbing Namjoon's arms, hoping to soothe him.

With Jackson's help, namjoon sat up on the bed, looking around the room to find his bandmates, sighing when he saw no one. He looked at Jackson, now with a sad, tired smile.

Jackson's heart broke at the sight. He quickly engulfed namjoon into a tight warm hug and sniffled into his neck. Namjoon, feeling startled a bit, let out a squeak but hugged back nonetheless. He held his friend close, feeling guilty for being the reason of his misery.

After a few minutes, Jackson sat back, taking deep breaths to control himself. "Thank god, you're okay", he said.

And as if on cue, namjoon clutched his chest, his breaths getting ragged and uneven. Jackson watched in shock as namjoon writhed on the mattress.

"Joon, Namjoon, take deep breaths", he tried. And namjoon wanted to do that, do exactly what jackson had asked but he couldn't, even if he was desperate.

His whole body ached and he screamed in despair before his mouth spilled out dark, crimson liquid. Jackson became even more panicked. He held Namjoon in his arms and quickly went down the stairs. Namjoon's blood staining his shirt but he could care less.

"SOMEONE CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!", he shouted. Everyone came running out of their room, gasping when they saw Namjoon's body lying limp in the got7 member's arms.

"The Ambulance is coming!", jin said, worry and horror laced in his tone.
____________________________________

"H-has anyone already informed Sejin-nim and Bang PD-nim?"

And as expected, everyone shook their heads.

Jin, as the eldest, took it upon himself to call their managers and explain everything to them, although he had to stop a few times because of a few occasional sobs.

The other line was silent for a while before Sejin took a deep breath and then talked.

"Alright, I understand. I... See, It's not that I want to put any blame on you guys but... shouldn't you have noticed, like, anything? You're band mates, boyfriends even, how could you just not see that? You were even dating", he said. Because the phone was on speaker, Jackson scoffed, looking directly in all of their eyes one by one, his once kind eyes glaring at them with nothing but hatred.

They silently looked at each other.

"We... we should have seen it. We failed as band mates", as lovers. Jin wants to say but he doesn't know why he can't bring himself to actually say it. After all, he couldn't possibly tell sejin that it happened all because of a misunderstanding.

Sejin sighed. "I can't judge that, I seriously don't know. But I'm on my way and should be there in five minutes. Keep calm."

"Okay," Jin replied, nodding to himself. "And.. please stay safe. Don't do anything dumb. I'll hurry so I'll be there faster. Bye", sejin said nervously. "Yeah, see you, Sejin-nim".

Their manager hung up and Jin was immediately bombarded with questions.

"What did he say?"

"What was that with us being failures as band mates?"

"Will he come and pick us up?"

"When will he come?"

The alpha leader held up his hand which silenced everyone. "He said that we as his band mates... And boyfriends should have noticed earlier... He'll be here in five."