Living With The Psychopath (GL) [Completed] [Self-Published]

Episode 21

Episode 21:

"Rosendale," Kumatok ako ng dalawang beses dahil ni hindi man lang siya nasagot. "Hoy, dinner na raw."

I waiter for a few seconds. Inilapit ko pa ang tainga sa pinto, just to sense for any movements inside pero wala naman. Ginalaw ko ang doorknob, hindi naman naka-lock.

"Papasok na ako." I said. Still, wala pa rin akong narinig na sagot. Napairap na lang ako kasabay ng pagbukas ng pintuan.

The darkness welcomed me. Kinapa ko yung switch ng ilaw para luminawag. I finally saw her—leaning her back on the headboard of the bed and her eyes piercing at me. It's still something new to me to be welcomed with such eyes, it's affecting me whether I like it or not.

"Kakain na." sabi ko. Hindi pa rin siya kumikibo.

Hanggang ngayon ay ayaw niya pa rin akong pansinin simula no'ng araw na pumayag akong lumabas kasama si Kenneth at nang masabihan ko siya ng hindi magagandang salita. She will just look at me like she wanted to say something but she'd keep her lips sealed. Nakakairita na ewan.

Deep inside, fine, I was feeling guilty. I wasn't like this, I wasn't supposed to feel the need to say sorry. Siya naman kasi, eh. Wala namang ginagawang masama yung tao pero kung makapag-conclude siya, para bang kilalang-kilala na niya si Kenneth. If she's jealous then wala siya sa lugar.

Maybe I have to clear things out na wala naman akong gusto ro'n sa tao. Wala namang masama na lumabas kasama ang iba. Una, wala naman kaming relasyon ni Rosendale. I was somehow acknowledging her feelings pero sana ay ganoon din siya sa akin. Huwag naman niya akong angkinin at ipagdamot ng sobra.

"Rosendale." I called once again.

Umiwas siya ng tingin. She took her journal from the bedside table and a pen. I remembered seeing that for the first time, I remembered the blood stain. Hindi ko nabasa ang lahat, since ayoko naman talagang mang-usisa privacy ng ibang tao but right now I'm curious. Was she still writing something about me? Up until now? Hula ko ay talagang masama ang loob niya. She won't ignore me on purpose if not.

"Ayaw mo bang kumain?" tanong ko. Ayaw niya pa ring sumagot, patuloy lang siya sa pagsusulat. I took a step forward until I reached the edge of her bed. She's still doing her thing like I was not existing. "Hindi ka rin kumain kahapon."

May pasok kami kanina, I didn't see her during lunch break which led me to the conclusion that she's really trying to ignore me. So, I didn't know either if she ate kanina or not. Friday na't lahat-lahat pero ito't nagmamatigas pa rin siya. I was trying to talk to her but she's too stubborn that she won't listen.

I tried to check her wrist, or anywhere she might cut herself and saw nothing but scars. She's not wearing any bracelets. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag kahit papaano. It's a relief she didn't do anything reckless, although I'm still not sure whether she hurt herself on the chest part. I hope she didn't.

"Hanggang kailan ka magiging immature?" Hindi na ako nakatiis. Naiinis na talaga ako sa kanya. Sure, we've had some misunderstanding pero tama bang magpasaway siya ng ganito katagal? Fuck.

Finally ay lumingon siya. Binalik niya ang journal at pen sa pinagkuhanan at tiningnan ako nang masama. "So, I'm the immature one here, Echo?"

"Hindi ba?" I retorted back irritably, my left brow arching. "If you're not then you won't sulk here like seven!"

"Fuck your narrow-minded brain," She was almost hissing. "If I don't like you I'd probably won't feel anything whether you go the hell out with someone else. I'm just trying to take care of you."

"Kinukulong mo ako, Rosendale." I rephrased. "Hindi 'yan pag-aalaga."

"You're just interpreting it the wrong way." She answered, her voice softening. She motioned me to come closer but I stood still. Bumuntong-hininga siya. "Sit beside me."

"Ayoko. Nag-uusap pa tayo."

"Do I have to say please?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Sa huli, nag-decide akong sumunod. I sat beside her and for some unknown reason, my heart started to act stupid. It was beating fast. Damn it. I shouldn't be this nervous, tumabi lang naman ako.

"We've been always like this since day one, aren't we?" she asked. Hindi na ako nakaangal pa nang hawakan niya ako sa kamay. She's warm, and I like it—but I will never admit that to her. Asa siya. "Madalas tayong magtalo. First, it's because you're always hot headed."

"Excuse me?"

Nagtaas siya ng kilay. Hinatak ko ang kamay paalis pero hinigpitan niya lang ang pagkakahawak no'n. Tinitigan ko siya nang masama.

"See?" Umangat ang kabilang dulo ng labi niya. Ang lalim niya kung tumitig. "Lahat dinadaan mo sa masamang tingin. You're so stubborn, you don't listen to anyone but yourself. You speak ill to anyone if you want to without restriction. In short, wala kang filter."

Hindi ako makasagot. May punto naman siya, kahit nakakainis marinig. Maybe I was like that, I've been always like that. If I won't do that, people will most likely take advantage with such vulnerability. I got used to it and it's a bad habit I can't just stop.

"I still like you though." she said. I felt my face grew warm and my initial reaction was to rolled my eyes at her.

"Tumahimik ka nga." Kung anu-anong sinasabi!

"It's true, I don't know if you feel it but it's true." she answered stubbornly, "I won't tell you to avoid the guy for no apparent reason. I just want to protect you."

"You're being possessive." I told her. "Hindi naman tayo."

"Then be my girlfriend."

Kung may iniinom lang ako, baka naibuga ko na sa kanya dahil sa narinig. Kunot ang noo na tiningnan ko si Rosendale, she looked so serious to the point that she looked scary. "I don't like you that way. And the last time I checked I'm—"

"Straight?" she cut me off. I nodded my head and she shook hers in return. "Echo, do you know how much of a denial person you are?"

"Hindi ako denial!"

"Then tsundere."

"Anong tsund—huh? Ano 'yon?" Nakakatanga na naman siya. Kung anu-anong sinasabi.

"Google mo."

"Fuck."

"Later."

"Nakakabwisit ka." Todo irap ako sa kanya. "Halika na, kanina pa tayo rito, dinner na."

"Will you say you won't go tomorrow?" I felt her grip tightened. "Echo..."

"Nakapayag na ako."

"Then decline."

"Let's just talk about it later."

"You sure?" she asked. Tumango ako. Ilang segundo siyang nakatingin lang sa akin, hindi nagtagal ay tumango siya. "Alright, later. In this room."

"Fine." Sinubukan kong umalis sa kama pero hinila niya ako para maupo ulit. I stared at her. "Ano?"

Isinandal niya ako sa headboard. Her palm caressed my neck, tracing it up to my collarbone, then it settled to my ear. "Have I told you how attractive you are?"

Naramdaman ko ang pag-init muli ng mukha ko. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Kung anu-anong pinagsasabi mo."

"I'm not." she answered. "Look," She traced my eyes, napapikit ako. "You have long eyelashes, and your eyebrows look good, too." Bumaba ang tip ng daliri niya sa ilong ko, pababa sa pisngi, hanggang sa labi ko. "You're pretty."

I opened my eyes. Ang lapit na ng mukha niya. She leaned closer and peck my lips, it was light yet warm. Napalunok ako. "Baka hinahanap na tayo nina Papa—"

"Just a few seconds."

"Rosendale." Sinubukan kong palayuin siya at tumayo but she won't permit me to do so. "Kumain na tayo."

"Echo," Huminga siya nang malalim. "Do you know how much control I have just to not devour you, right here, right now?"

"Pervert." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Buong lakas akong tumayo at mabilis na nagpunta sa pinto. I looked at her. "Ano pang ginagawa mo? Let's eat dinner now."

Umiling siya ngunit sumunod din naman. Tumalikod ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong problema ko pero hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti. Stupid Rosendale.

_____