Living With The Psychopath (GL) [Completed] [Self-Published]

Episode 44

Episode 44:

"Nahaba na naman 'yang bangs mo." Pagpuna ko sa kanya. Hinaplos ko ang buhok nitong nagsisimula na namang humarang sa mukha niya. Kakauwi niya lang ilang minuto na ang nakalilipas pero ito nga't hinila niya ako rito sa loob ng kwarto niya. "Mukha ka na ulit si Sunako."

"Who's that?" Rosendale frowned her forehead, her eyes scanning me.

"Wala, anime character." Sagot ko. Akala ko naman ay alam niya kung sinong binanggit ko. Mas mahilig nga pala siya sa cartoon kaysa anime. I think that's the childish part of her. I just can't help but remember na ganoon ang pagkaka-describe ko sa kanya noon.

Natapos ang school semester nang hindi ko halos napapansin dahil na rin sa dami ng mga nangyari. It was the last day of school at bukas ay simula naman ng bakasyon dahil sa nalalapit na Pasko at Bagong Taon.

I wasn't able to attend any class, ni hindi ako nakapag-final exams o nakapagpasa man lang ng mga requirements. Ako rin naman ang may desisyon na huwag pumasok kahit pwede na. I don't think I can, just the thought of being surrounded by people who might already know what happened was kind of frightening.

Although both my girlfriend and Cheddy reassured me that no one knows yet. A lot were wondering but no one was feeding their curiosity. Takot silang magtanong kay Rosendale at tikom naman ang bibig ng kaibigan ko.

Way back, I won't even care kung anong iisipin ng tao sa akin. But I think that was too naive of me, I should still be bothered by it even just a bit so I'll get to be more aware of what's actually happening around me. Maybe things will keep on changing no matter what—even my perspective.

Wala na akong pakialam kung hindi ko naipasa ang semester. Pwede naman akong mag-aral ulit, pero ayoko na ro'n. I already told my parents that I'll continue my last year sa susunod na pagkakataon pero gusto kong sa ibang eskuwelahan na. On the other hand, itinuloy pa rin ni Rosendale ang pag-aaral niya. She didn't want to at first, pero ayokong huminto ang mundo niya para sa akin.

"Hindi ko na im-maintain ang ganitong style," I heard her say. Niluwagan niya ang suot na necktie hanggang sa tuluyan iyong matanggal. She played it around her fingers, then she took my hand, tying it on my scarred wrist where I cut myself when we became together. Naramdaman ko ang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko dahil sa ginawa. "I'll like to grow it longer para mawala na."

"Ayaw mo na ng ganoon?" Medyo nabigla ako. I can't really imagine what she will looks like without the bangs dahil ganoon na talaga ang datingan niya mula nang una kong makilala sa school.

Nagkibit siya ng balikat. Mula sa pagkakasandal sa headboard ng kama ay bahagya siyang gumalaw at pumunta sa harapan ko. She was now straddling me, her hand holding my wrist with the necktie, circling her thumb on my skin. Humawak siya sa pisngi ko at marahang hinaplos 'yon maging ang bandang tainga ko. She took a deep breath and leaned on my shoulder. "Echo."

"Hm?"

"I want to kiss you." Nag-angat siya ng tingin at inilapit ang mukha sa akin. Pinatakan niya ako ng isang halik sa pisngi. Her eyes were looking so dark and intense, like she's been trying to keep herself at bay otherwise she'll lose control. "I'll stop if it's too much."

"Rosendale, I told you not to—"

"If I go all the way without considering what you might feel, will you not cry because of fear?" Natigilan ako sa naging tanong niya. She leaned closer, her breath on my neck. I can feel my heart beating that I can almost hear it drumming inside my head. I clenched my fist when her lips touched my skin. Halos panindigan ako ng balahibo nang huminga siya malapit sa tainga ko. "You're trembling."

I bit my lower lip. I felt like wanting to cry because she's right. I didn't want to admit it but it's just too fucking obvious. Unnecessary images filled my head and no matter how many times I tried not to think about it, it just kept on haunting me. Sinubukan ko namang alisin ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa akin pero hindi siya bumibitaw. I pushed her on the chest but she won't even move a bit.