You May Know Me As...

Chapter 14: Who am I?

Chapter 14: Who am I?

"Benny," I whispered, trying to figure out how to begin this story. We were at the park, sitting on a bench that was slightly aluminated by a street lamp.

"Becca," he started, then stopped. He looked at my hair. "Emma," he tried again. "Nha, nha," he muttered to himself. "Who... Who are you."

And at that moment I said something he never would of expected. "I am Alexandra Quarent." I stared down at my feet, waiting on his reply.

He seemed stunned. "What about Emma? And Rebecca? You haven't really answered my question- Who are you?" He picked up his head so he could look in my eyes, but I would not meet his.

"Who am I? I am the girl with seven identities." I finally turned my face to look at him, but still not into his eyes. I feared I might breakdown again at looking into the eyes of someone so whole, when I was in so many pieces.

"Woah, woah, woah, you just went from one girl to seven a lot faster than you should of. I'm not going to ask you much... except... Why?" He gave up on eye contact and looked down at his shoes.

I took a deep breath to stabalize myself and then launched into my story at a rapid pace, taking far and few breaths. "Alright so as an eighth grader named Alexandra I wasn't necessarily popular. I wasn't like a loser either, though. I was smack in the middle and I hated it. Nothing good or bad was ever happening and it sucked. So over the summer I devised this stupid plan that I didn't really think through and decided to become Emma. I told everyone I was moving and had someone forge some documents for me. I know the forger from famiy friends. We have some weathly friends and I'm pretty tight with their son, who is in his twenties, and he forges documents and does it for a small fee for me. And before you ask, yes my family does have a rather high amount of money, but throughout my various identities I am able to get paid for some things, also. Anyways, I then realized that my music interest could not be catered if I wanted to be popular. Band and popularity are practically polar opposites. So I donned a new wig and walked to the next town over to be a part of a band as Rebecca. I wanted to try sports. After all, everyone else was doing them, it seemed pretty cool. Under the idea that I was homeschooled and drove to school once classes ended, I joined a few teams as Jessica. I didn't want to be labeled as a jock so I made myself a new name and look to be a jock with. I did the sports at a different school than Emma's. I noticed I was still missing a component to my life. Romance. I became Scarlet, the smooth, desirable dater. Later on, I realized I wasn't learning anything in school, especially as a popular girl, considering I was only there to socialize, not become knowlegable. I signed up for some easy college courses as Michelle. Lastly, I created Karter. Sick of playing a nice girl in so many of my identities, I invented a total badass who had just turned twenty-one and was ready to live." I paused, took a breath, and stated the following words slowly, letting them slip off my tongue like molasses. "This is me. This is the girl with seven identities. Benny, you are the only one to know the whole story."

He just sat there for a while. Five minutes passed. Then ten. He sat like a plank, awaiting balance. He did not understand my life. Now that I think about it, I don't really understand it either. Why did I do this? I wasn't mentally disturbed, I did this under all my own choices. I decided to be me. I decided to be her... and her... and her.

Everyone lives a life differently and this is how I choose to live mine.

Benny's face hardened and he spoke with little emotion. "How can I love you if I don't even know you? I keep wanting to call you Emma because that's who you look like, but I don't know her. I know Rebecca, but now I don't even know who she is. I-I need some time. I can't be with you if I don't know you." Benny stood up, his face still hard. "I need to go now. I need to get back to Cassie, I told her I was meeting up with her. I'm late. For now, goodbye Rebecca." He began to turn around, but in a desperate attempt to keep him, I snatched his hand and stood up rapidly. Not thinking, I kissed him.

He didn't kiss back. He pulled away and with that, locked his decision to leave me.

Benny left me standing there, after I had just spilled my life story to him. For any other person, I wouldn't be emotionally hurt. Betrayed? Yes. But broken-hearted? For Benny, of course I am.

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Author's Note: What should she do now? Chase after him or let him go? Of course I already know, but do you?;)

BIG QUESTION: Should I change my watty award genre to adventure? I won't win anything in teen fiction. I'm going to make the decision soon so let me know what you think in a comment or on my message board ASAP!

Thank you all again for all your support and vote for my title by clicking report then switching to "Special Award Nominees" in the drop down menu. Then type in "Title 2012" and submit. Comment and vote if you like, Thanks!!!:D