On The Cold Night

42

Leo stopped reaching for the book that he is trying to get on the upper shelves when he heard a familiar voice. He shuddered when he saw the owner of the voice right beside him.

"Wow! Look who's here? I thought I'll never see that bitchy face of yours since I'm trying to control myself not to go far of killing fags." Joheon said. Leo backed away but hit the wall. He was actually at the furtest shelves where the shelves are leaning onto the wall. Jooheon smirked.

"Don't be so scaredy there. Not like I'll mistake of raping the fuck out of you." Wonho and Minhyuk laughed smugly.

"Stay away." Leo said, not allowing himself to scream knowing the policies of the place. Jooheon smirked at him.

"No. I'm not gonna pick on a filthy gay like you anymore. That was a mistake that I did before." Leo frowned at the sudden change of attitude of the guy. "I won't treat you like the winning card anymore. I'll just play with you." Suddenly, a group of girls walked towards their direction. They seem to be looking for books on the same shelves. Jooheon suddenly unbottoned his shirt. "S-stop there." he said as he pretended to push Leo to the wall and held his unbottoned shirt. He backed away causing the girls to turn to them.

"I'm sorry Jung Taekwoon but I'm not gay." The girls widened their eyes yet stayed attentive. Leo glared at him. "...a-and I'm....not doing dirty stuffs like that especially in a library." Wonho and Minhyuk laughed and so do the girls. Leo bit his lip and run pass by them, hitting his chest and shoulder in the process. He run faster untill he got out of the library. He then stopped when two guys looked at him.

"H-hey. He's Taekwoon, right?" one said.

"Yeah. That's him." the other one said.

"Isn't he kinda cute? Must be why he can make guys like him. Who would fell for your same gender? Are these people even normal?" Leo frowned even more and found Jooheon smirking at him from the door. He run again, away from people's eyes untill he ended up on the bench outside. He sat himself there and looked at his trembling hands. Bids of tears fell on them and he found himself hiccuping from crying. He held his face with his hands and lean his elbows on his knees. He wished what happened is just a dream. He can't survive with that person still around. Just when he was about to move on and have a better life, he had to be back to ruin that chance. He felt ashamed that he is even crying aloud. He don't know what to do. He is starting to have panic attack and he found out about it when cold sweats made his body tremble even more as fresh air didn't fail to hit him. He looked at his hands and halluscinated as an image of his hand, holding a razor, appeared clearly in his blurry vision. He panted as he palpitated. He trembled more and when he grabbed the object, it disapeared causing a sudden extreme hopelessness. He got frustrated and ruined his hair by pulling hard onto it. He got more piss when he can't break anything around and then he thought of something. He stood up and fixed himself to the fullest that he could but it didn't stop people from gazing at him. It's because of his apperance or because they got the gossips that Jooheon spread about him being gay. He acted like he don't mind as he kept walking untill he reached the locker room. He went in and stood in front of his locker. He took a deep breath and then suddenly, Hyuk's words rang into his mind. He felt another guilt that he is not considering their efforts to help him again and is still hiding his problems from them. He teared more and opened his locker. He took the razor and closed it. He walked until he reached the boy's comfort room. Luckily, Hyuk didn't noticed him. He went to the last cubicle and shut himself in. He positioned the blade into his now clear wrist and about to press when he stopped. He remembered how it would be obvious. Ravi will surely get mad. He pulled his sleeve back down and stared into space as he thought for another area. He then pulled his pants down and sat on the stool. He took a deep breath and then in a second, his thigh soaked with crimson liquid. He made another one and another untill his thighs are filled with blood. He panicked when it was about to drop so he took lots of tissue papers and dumped them with it. He dried it and pulled his pants up again. He whimpered when it stings more at the contact with the fabric making him bite his lip tightly untill it bled and stopped when he finally done zipping his zipper. He dried his tears and washed his face. Luckily, no one is around at the time. Of course, because he is fifteen minutes late to their next subject. He dried his face and went back to his class. He stood at the door and bowed his head.