On The Cold Night

59

Ravi closed his eyes tightly, attempting to calm himself. Ms. Kim held him on his arms with her face positively showing her pure disapointment.

"Why?....why do you care if I love him this way? He love me too....b-before." he said the last in whisper then lowered his head.

"Wonshik, Leo is your brother. You can't treat him more than that-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Ravi yelled in frustration with his hands messing his hair aggresively. Ms. Kim stood shock at her son's behavior. Ravi was also shocked. He didn't mean it but it seems like all what she said is the same, 'he can't love Taekwoon'. His shaking hands held the shoulders of his tearing mother. "Eomma, I'm sorry."

"See that. That is what it gives you. You're learning to disrespect me. Stop being stubborn and listen to what I'll say." Ravi frowned. "Taekwoon...he is a nice person. I know...but loving him in that way doesn' mean you're giving him the best you can....to love is not to all about being both happy. It's about giving the person you love the best thing for them so they won't suffer....and this type of love, you'll suffer and you'll make him suffer. You'll feel loved but pained at the same time." The words seems to be right and Ravi is aware that his mind is just being stubborn, not wanting to absorb any of it. "...you'll hurt him by loving him so please...let him go." He backed away which is a 'no' but Ms. Kim just let out a tired sigh before leaving the broken Ravi. That's the time when Ravi cried to the floor.

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Leo run immediately when he got the hint that Ms. Kim is leaving their dorm. The first place that he come uo with is an empty room. He closed it and slide through the wall. It hurts but she's right and he hope Ravi got what she meant. Feeling disgusted of himself, he wiped his tears.

No, I need to start containing myself. I can't just cry and cry all the time. I need to be stronger for Wonshik....so that I'll be able to keep holding on to this beautiful lie.

"Taekwoon?" a call coming from the door startled him. He quickly fixed himself before he can stand up, Hakyeon entered and gave him a worried look. With a frowning face, he approached him and soothed his arms. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just happy for Hyuk." Hakyeon pitied Leo for being an obvious liar.

"Don't." Leo whike continuing to wipe his tears frowned at him, confusedly.

"W-why not-"
"Don't stop yourself from expressing your real emotion. It's okay that you can't say it but I'm already here. You can cry it all with me." Leo's frown grew more until tears resumed streaming down his cheeks. He leaped into the arms of the older and cried like a kid with his face digging on his shoulder.

"I'm so weak....I hate myself...but it's hard to change...I don't knkw what I'll do anymore." Hakyeon tried his best not to shed tears as well. Just to calm himself too, he tighten his hug and his other hand made a good job of soothing the crying Leo in his arms.

"You can do it. Believe me....you'll be able to get through it." he said. Leo didn't say anything anymore. It's good that he was able to let himself cry than to cut again.

The others didn't bother to keel searching for Leo since Hakyeon had send them a message saying he and Leo went to talk about private things alone. The two of them and Ravi wasn't able to bid goodbye to Ms. Kim and Ms. Han but they are more worried to Ravi. They don'k know where he is and why his mother have puffy eyes. When Leo had already calmed down, he gave Hakyeon an 'I'm fine now' look where Hakyeon gained a relief. Leo yawned so Hakyeon guessed the kitten is sleepy after all the cries that he did.