On The Cold Night

28

I'm back again....here, I posted one of my favorite chapter. Just sayin. K bye.

The psychatrist sat on the stool beside Leo's bed. He took out a tickler and pen then stared at Leo for a moment. Leo is bitting his lip and his hands won't stop from ruining the sleeve of his hospital clothes. He is getting more nervous when he heard from the door when the psychiatrist told Ravi to stay put so he could call the nurses if he got a panic attack. He become frighten not because he is possible to panic but because of the fact that he may need to answer sensitive and provoking questions. That sure will make him panic.

The man smiled warmly at him before opening his mouth to start the session. "What's your name?" he asked although he was informed about all the information about him including all of his wounds, old and new. The man need to know how much he hurted himself aside from the suicide attempt. Leo held his hand tightly now to prevent it from shaking.

"Y-you can call me Leo." he said. The doctor smiled as he listed in his notebook the nickname that he prefer him to know rather than his whole name. 'Not confident and proud of his name' he noted mentally.

"So Leo, chill okay. I won't hurt you. Hmm? Besides, I'm going to ask you some questions to help you. You can't cope your problems if you're not going to seek advice from others especially to me so I want you to answer truthfully. Besides, no one is here aside from us. Your answer will be confidential." Leo whose head is hanging low just nodded. "Anyway, I'll also tell you my nickname so you can feel comfortable in talking to me. I'm Nick." he said. Leo just nod again making Nick slightly chuckle. He is expecting him to atleast say 'it's nice meeting you' but he guessed he is just an extremely timid person. "Okay. How are you feeling about this session?" he asked getting a bit further from the intro.

"...I-I'm nervous." he replied.

"Why?" the man asked after a few seconds pause to let him gather more strength to answer the following questions.

"...b-because...I-I'm not used to speak what's in my head. I-I'm not talking about it to anyone." he replied. The doctor nodded.

"It's okay. You'll feel better when you're letting them out sometimes....verbally." Leo bit his lip knowing he is reffering at his mutilating rituals. "Okay. Why did you cut?" he asked straightforwardly causing Leo to become a bit jumpy at the sudden question. He frowned with tears threatening to fall. The man didn't say anything at the moment but patiently waited for his response. He slightly hid his wounded arm from the sight of the man and held onto the cover rather titghtly. He took a deep breath to gather more courage to speak.

"....I...wanted to end my life." he replied almost in a whisper.

"Why?" the man asked.

"....b-because...my life is worthless...not even my parents want me and....no one loves me." he replied. The tears automatically escaped as he finished his sentence.

"What do you think will happen if you do that?" another question made it hard for Leo to breathe but he bit harder to his lip.

"....I won't be a huge burden to the people around me. They may live a life without me on the way to their happiness and...I won't feel anymore pain." he answered. He wiped his tears and covered his face with his hands. The man just kept taking notes of his answers on his notebook and his actions and manner on his mind.

"What do you think is the reason that you survived?" Leo frowned and remembered Ravi.

"B-because...my friend saved me." The man raised a brow.

"Why did your friend saved you?" Something seemed to snapped in Leo's mind and it came. He stopped crying and let his hands fall back to his lap. The man wanted to smile despite of the serious conversation when he saw a tint of pink on the boy's cheeks and his eyes wide open as if his question answered something.