Through Chrissie's eyes

In the middle of the distance

In Brian's absence, what distracted me from missing him was to keep working and looking after our house, but every corner I looked at, I missed him. Places where we talked about common things, his sudden ideas to compose that made him run, the way he asked about my day and had all the patience in the world to hear me.

It was agonizing not to have a number to call and talk to him, I had to wait for him to call me, which reminded me a little when I was a simple college student, only his friend, who not knowing why I loved when he called but now I was more than sure that I loved him, I had become his wife, and my anticipation of his calls was even more significant.

The girls also came to visit me, I helped Veronica with her senior year at college, and Mary would come home whenever she could after work, to have tea, and talk about things other than the absence of the boys. Staying together meant helping each other deal with longing.

It was always too late when Brian called, and I always drifted off to sleep, never being able to stay awake while I waited. The first time he called me during the trip, I hardly heard the phone ringing from my room, but I was so anxious that as soon as I realized what that noise was, I ran to answer, ignoring the dizziness from sleep, the darkness, and the risk of tripping on the steps of the ladder.

It rang six times before I answered, and I was hoping he wouldn't hang up, it could only be Brian calling me at a time like this, I hoped I wasn't wrong.

"Hello?" I answered in a trembling, half-squeaky voice of sleep, overflowing with anxiety.

"My love? I woke you up, didn't I?" - My husband's voice sounded tired and worried "but I had to call, because you asked ..."

"I wanted very, very much that you called" I ignored my sleep, excited "but you called me just because I asked? I thought it wasn't just for this ...."

"Of course not," he laughed, realizing I was joking. "I was just worried about waking you up, but I wanted to talk to you as soon as I had a break. How are you, Chrissie?"

"I'm fine, it's everything okay, nothing new, but okay," I said. "I just miss you."

"Me too, me too ..." Brian sighed, "but it's been great here, and I confess it's a bit scary too."

"Scary? Why?" I was confused and worried.

"There were a crowd of fans at the airport waiting for us," Brian told me "a lot of people, Chrissie, with banners, our pictures, our drawings, our records, I was surprised when they asked me for an autograph. You know, we're ... Famous here. It's good, but ..."

"You don't know very well how to react?" I deduced what my husband was feeling.

"Yeah, well, I'm learning to deal with it," he confessed, "and we're not even perform yet"

"No? Oh yeah, time zone" I remembered "so good luck on the show, tell the boys that I said hello, and ask John for help to get Freddie and Roger out of trouble if they get in trouble."

"Oh, I'll do it, but for now they didn't do anything ..." Brian laughed. "I'll let you rest now, okay? I love you Chrissie, bye."

"I love you, bye-bye." I hung up and was relieved that I had been able to talk to him.

Over the next few days, I ended up sleeping on the couch, for not to miss any calls from Brian, who told me more about things and the fans in Japan. Then my wait was finally over when Brian told me the date and time they would come back home.

I was anxious at the airport, not taking my eyes off the sky. Mary and Veronica were calmer than me. It seems I was always the most emotional of the three. Veronica sensed my nervousness and brought me coffee as a consolation.

"You need to relax a bit," she advised.

"I know, but I can't ..." I moaned, taking a sip of coffee right away.

"Looks like we'll wait at airports a lot more times now." Mary got up and stood beside me.

She had grown accustomed to Queen's growing fame and with their absence, though it wasn't easy, but I ... nothing in my life had prepared me for such moments. I took a deep breath to face this change.

"I know," I just nodded thoughtfully.

I tried to distract myself a bit, not focusing on the wait itself, paying attention to what was happening on the airport monitors. It was then that I recognized the plane that landed, Queen was back to their homeland.

I kept myself from rushing to meet Brian, but even as I stood still, I noticed him rushing his steps toward me. Still, John, Roger, and Freddie came first to us.

"How did I miss you!" I hugged them after they greeted Mary and Veronica "you have no idea how much I love you, my boys!"

"Oh, I missed you too, mom" Roger teased.

"I know I spoke like a mother, but it's serious" I said.

"You love me too, don't you?" My husband came after his friends.

"Brian!" I shouted his name unintentionally and I hugged him tightly as he pulled me off the floor.

"Hi Chrissie ..." he said after letting me go.

"I love you so much that look!" I showed him my wedding ring "I married you!"

"Oh, man, are you guys going to start?" Roger complained about our public display of affection.

"And now you know exactly how we felt a few years ago ..." Brian shrugged, pleased with his unexpected vengeance.

"Then you have to tell us this story," John said.

"Forget it Deaky!" Roger jerked him away.

"I dono' know about you kids, but all I want now is to sleep at least a full day," Freddie cut in, and we said goodbye to each other, since the boys were really exhausted.

Seeing them playing that way helped me to miss their longing right away. But really, Mary was right, I would have to get used to the fact that they traveled and been away for a while, since Queen's fame had come from the other side of the Atlantic. This time they had gotten a tour in the United States.

Before the boys traveled, it wasn't only the new tour we celebrated, but also the engagement of Freddie and Mary.

"I suspected it for a while," I said to them, "but I'm surprised that you. Mr. Mercury, who insist so much that Brian proposed to me in front of a crowd and when it's your turn, you do it very discreetly ..."

"What can I do?" Freddie shrugged, without knowing exacty what to answer "I was already thinking about it for a while, the right moment came and I couldn't let go ..."

"I know ... I believe you" I seemed disbelieving, but I did believe him.

One of the contradictory things about Freddie was being extremely extravagant on stage, full of presence and confidence, but with us he was even shy and discreet depending on the situation. This was his real self, which only we knew.

When it was time to say goodbye when the day came, I was able to handle everything better, these were difficult changes, but I know they were the consequences of wonderful things. Not that I wasn't accustomed to Brian traveling to do a show, but an official tour spending months out, had a very different proportion. Anyway, I was also the wife of Queen's guitarist, and I always understood that part of his life.

Just like when he was in Japan, Brian would always call when he could, telling me about how little he knew of each city they were in. One afternoon, I answered the phone, thinking it was another call from my husband. Before he said anything, I could hear Roger sobbing as he could barely control it. My heart was immediately distressed.