Through Chrissie's eyes

Expectation

It was a long taxi ride from the airport to the hotel, and unfortunately, just Jimmy who was so excited to see the city, missed many attractions. We were able to see the Statue of Liberty in the distance and we passed the tireless billboards of Times Square. I got lost in the middle of so many ads, they were pure commerce in search of greedy customers, but the advertisements themselves, which often changed on the huge screens were a spectacle apart. Even if we had billboards in London, they were not like Times Square.

Jimmy got off the plane sleeping in Brian's lap and didn't wake up until we got to the hotel. The hotel we would stay was the same as Brian's parents would stay. Probably they had already arrived.

"I think I should see how my parents are" he said, but I knew my husband didn't want to look at them now, just when we'd just arrived and we were still tired from the trip.

"Rest a little Bri, it'll be better this way." I caressed his face and he just nodded.

Brian didn't need to tell me, but he was still worried about his father's opinion. He was almost certain that if he went to talk to Sir Harold now, the two would fall into disagreement. Nothing very serious, but I don't know if Brian could restrain himself once more.

We all three of us lay in the double bed in the hotel room, Jimmy wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon, but I was grateful he understood that we were very tired, staying very still. Brian fell asleep soon, the baby was strangely agitated, which helped me stay awake to look at Jimmy. So I had a moment with my children.

I had a theory that the baby was moving because of my concern for Brian's fears. Everything I felt, our youngest felt, just as Jimmy felt everything I felt when I was generating him. I think too much concern was a recurring thing in the May family, but it certainly came from the Mullen side of the family. Jimmy seemed to understand the moment and continued quietly, feeling his little brother move. At that moment I was trying to think of something to help Brian deal with that situation.

A while later, my husband woke up and saw that he no longer had to avoid what was necessary to be confronted.

"I'll go after my parents, will you come with me?" he asked, and I realized that he was struggling to remain calm, when, however, his request was more to "please come with me."

"Of course" I smiled, trying to show my full support.

Jimmy got up and went to the door, showing that he was willing to join us. We asked at the front desk where Harold and Ruth May were staying and there we went to their room. Brian was nervous as before a show, I offered to knock the door.

"Chrissie!" said Mrs. Ruth and then wrapped me in a hug "it's so good to see you, my girl, and look, how my Jimmy grew up."

"Hi, Grandma" smiled my little boy, glad to see her.

"Hi, and Brian!! She went to her son "what are you doing hiding behind your wife? You know she's much smaller than you ..."

"That's new, Mom ..." Brian finally laughed in all the time of our trip to New York "but it was funny."

"It was only to make you relax" said Mrs. Ruth "Come, your father will want to see you."

And then I stepped forward again, and Brian resumed the posture of hiding behind me. I knew that if it was someone else in my place the person would think "I married a coward who is afraid of his own father" but I knew what was like to feel insecure and I understood him completely.

"Sir grandpa!" It was Jimmy's turn to made a cute thing.

"Hi, little Mr. May!" Harold smiled at his grandson, they had this joke to call themselves formal greetings because I started this, calling him Sir Harold.

Hi, Sir Harold!" It was my turn to greet him.

"Chrissie, you're more beautiful than ever, how's the baby?" he asked, stroking my belly.

"We're good, very good" I said with a smile, which meant "take it easy with Brian, he never was a bad son to you".

"Son," Harold shook hands with my husband.

"Dad" Brian said in the same tone.

It wasn't long before the two exchanged a hug, and so all the tension of the moment ceased.

Brian asked if they had a good trip, and Ruth and Harold thanked all the expenses paid by their son. He recommended that I accompany them at the time of the show, and I agreed, and then we said goodbye, since the boys had yet to rehearse.

"Was it that bad?" I asked Brian a little blandly.

"I admit it was better than I thought, but believe me Chrissie, the worst is yet to come" he said grimly.

"Just remember Doing All Right, okay?" I tried to pass on optimism to him.

"Yes, yes, I know" he sighed "it will be all right."

He picked up Red Special and ee walked to Madison Square Garden to watch Queen rehearse. Me and Jimmy stayed in our corner, watching everything. I found it cute that my little boy started to clap his hands in the right time when the band passed "We Will Rock You." I joined him, which made Brian smile at us, and relieved my heart, for he was clearly calmer.

Just to near the time of the show his nervousness return. He stepped out in front of me, since I was going with his parents. We kissed saying, and again, I assured him that everything would be all right.

I gave my good-evening to my in-laws, but we didn't say any more words on the way, until Sir Harold raised an issue.

"So Brian thinks it's normal for you to travel the world on your condition, and moreover, with a small child?" cried mr. May with no finesse.

"Harold!" My mother-in-law was outraged.

"It's all right" she reassured me "I'm fine. Mr. May, it's okay to travel pregnant, it's three months before the baby is born, and Jimmy is already used to it, and so am I, who chose to follow Brian, I'm his personal assistant. And he prefers us always under his sight, so he can take care of us closely."

"Really? I ... "my father-in-law hesitated, however polite and sincere I was my words had a strong impact on Sir Harold !yet if he were an astrophysicist, you wouldn't have to travel from one place to another."

"But he's an astrophysicist, Harold ..." Mrs. May defended his son "he graduated."

Mr. May thought it best not to argue anymore. As shaken as I was with his comments, I was still glad Brian wasn't there to hear it.

I introduced my in-laws to Reid and Beach, who praised Brian as both guitarist and person, which made Ruth proud and Harold as well as embarrassed.

I absented myself to go backstage for a brief moment, I left Jimmy with his grandparents and went to wish the boys good luck.

"Hey guys" I nodded quickly to Roger, Freddie and John. "Bri, I need to talk to you about something."

He followed me into a corner away from the boys' ears, he understood that it was private.

"Look, I know you're nervous about your parents here, but just do what you always do, do your best, your work, and remember that every person here is because they recognize and love your work. Even your parents are here, because of Queen!" I spoke with all my heart to encourage him.

"I know, I'll remember that when I'm on stage," Brian smiled gratefully "now all I need is a good luck kiss."

"I'm on it." I smiled and kissed him, the heels I used at the time helped me do that without standing on tiptoe.

The boys complained a little, but laughed. And it was in this mood that they took to the stage. I just hoped Brian wouldn't let the pressure of his father's expectations get in the way of his performance.