Through Chrissie's eyes

Preparations

After making the decision that Queen would be one of the attractions of Live Aid, things were slowly returning to normal and suddenly when I saw, there it was our routine back, the old concern and organization for the show.

And for me, the best thing about everything back to normal was the boys being friends again. I let them have their moment alone, the four of them alone to reconnect again, but I felt I should pay Freddie a private visit. I knew he knew how worried I was and how much I had thought of him while he was away, but I also knew how important it was for him to hear from me how much I cared for him.

"I want to go see Freddie today, you think that's a good idea?" I told Brian after lunch.

"Yes, we can all go" he said.

"I'm sorry, Bri, but if you don't mind, I'd like to go alone, you know, to see if he's all right" I explained quickly, "but know that I'm glad to see you wanting to go to Freddie's, I didn't think this would happen so soon."

"Oh, but it didn't happen." Brian nodded and raised a forefinger for emphasis. "It's took a year to change my mind..."

"But it was a good time for all of us, wasn't it?" I tried to convince him.

"More or less, wasn't it, my love?" Brian was clinging to the bad side of the band's separation "I didn't feel so good right away."

"Nobody did, really" I agreed "but everyone had this time to reflect, to remember what unites you, to recognize where you went wrong, and to value good things, before it was too late."

"Yes, it was," he agreed, a little reluctantly. "after the storm came some peace."

"Wel," I said, "in the midst of a bad thing, we perceive good things. This is what helps us to have hope."

Brian gave a grateful smile, and kept reflecting on what I said. Only then did I realize how much we were philosophizing about our own lives.

At the end of the afternoon, I said goodbye to my loved ones and drove alone to Garden Lodge. Seeing the mansion so quiet and unmoving was so rare, but so reassuring. Definitely my favorite view of Freddie's house. It wasn't like that he couldn't do his parties, after all, it was his house and he received whoever he wanted, but on that visit, thinking that I only wanted to talk to him, all that calm was in line with the purpose of my visit."

"Mrs. May!" he greeted me with a broad smile and open arms, as well as I remembered him in his best days "I also missed you."

"Me too, Freddie" I returned his hug, "this time you really disappeared."

"I know, it wasn't my best moment." He lowered his eyes for a moment, but then returned to his good humor "but the other May seem to be disappeared now, where is Brian and the children?"

"They stayed home watching Star Wars." I answered his question.

"Of course he was going to trade me for those movies ..." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"No, he wouldn't" I had to laugh "he even wanted to come and I'm sure Louisa and Jimmy would come too if I called, but I made a point of coming alone to talk to you, if you ..."

Even after so many years that I knew him, I was still afraid to touch sensitive subjects. I was there to offer a friend's shoulder if he still needed it, as well as checking to see if he was all right, but I didn't want to declare it out loud, I wanted him to feel comfortable if he wanted to open up to me."

"If I wanted to talk?" he deduced, giving me a gentle smile "but of course I would like to talk to you! You know I love to talk, but I want you to talk more, because what happened in Munich was left behind, I realized that ... without giving much detail and softening things up a bit, I was a fool, very foolish. But I'm grateful for all of you, more than ever. And Mary, I need to mention Mary."

"Oh, she went there, didn't she? Brian told me you said that "I said in answer, not going into more detail because I knew that her visit had been very personal to Freddie.

"She was always my conscience" he went on, speaking with admiration "and she never lost her space in my heart, none of you actually, but of course you know that."

"Yes, I know" I was relieved and glad to hear him tell all these things from the bottom of his heart because he knew he could trust us and count on us.

"But tell me more about yourself" Freddie insisted. "Brian doesn't talk about you that much, of course, which is very contradictory, since of course he loves you very much."

"Well, it's because we're very reserved, but I've held on for the past year" I shrugged, trying to remember something relevant about myself to tell "I discovered some new books I hadn't read yet, we had an unforgettable vacation in Hampton, I dealt with Jimmy's first year at school, and I'm getting ready for Lou's turn.

"Yeah, your kids grew up fast" Freddie commented "and you really took care of everything, as you always did. Mrs. May, with her organizing craze, her concern and a huge heart."

"Oh ..." I let out a sigh of emotion "thank you ..."

"You're welcome, Chrissie." Freddie gave me a sincere smile.

He told me a little more about how happy he was to be back home and then I said goodbye to him, to see how Brian and the kids were without me.

Over the next few days the boys focused on rehearsals for Live Aid and during that time we could even visit Wembley Stadium so they had a sense of how it would all work on the day of the show.

Jim Beach looked surprised to see that Brian, John, and Roger had brought their wives and children to the stadium. I knew the manager thought they were too much people together, but then he smiled."

"We're lucky ionly Queen is visiting today," he chuckled softly "but welcome, Mrs. Deacon and Mrs. Taylor, it's always a pleasure to see you."

"I know we're scared you, being all together, Jim, but the longing to be together spoke louder" Dominique explained to us.

"I understand, I missed all of you together." Beach smiled and showed us around the big stadium.

Freddie, Roger, John and Brian left us a bit to check the stage. Bobby, Mike, Jimmy and Felix soon got involved in a catch-up game while Louisa, Rory and Laura stayed close to us.

"Yeah, I even thought he wouldn't come back," Veronica confessed, and we knew she was talking about Freddie.

"I also had that impression for a long time, he seemed so dazzled, I thought he would get lost for good" Dominique added, "it's wonderful that he came back."

"Deep down, he knew he still belongs to our family, he just needed to remember that" I finished our thoughts.

The three of us were sitting in a corner in the bleachers, right in the reserved place where we would be on Live Aid Day, and from afar we saw our husbands and Freddie waving. We did the same, and I had that renewed feeling in my heart that we were a family.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it, we're near the end now, I hope you guys remember this story is an AU.