Through Chrissie's eyes

A strange year

One time after Freddie left for Switzerland, we were adapting to life without the Queen, without rehearsals, without shows, but with the media eyeing everything.

It was strange staying at home most of the time, my routine had always been agitated, both as a teacher and as a personal assistant to Brian, but it was a good thing, in a way, if I didn't know why we were home.

I've been filling in the moments with new books, and more Doctor Who marathons, and of course, take care of Jimmy and Louisa. Taking my oldest son to school was something we always did together. When I stopped at Barnes' library, Brian wanted to accompany me and pick up books of his own interest. On days when he was more patient, he would accompany me by bringing Lou with him, and paying attention and autographs to anyone who recognized him. But among those fans we met by chance, there was always someone who asked when it would be the band's next tour.

"They're organizing," I was quick to help my husband, as he was shaken by this sort of question "that kind of thing takes time to get ready, you know?" But just pay attention when they'll tell to know."

My answers were enough for the fans, but they were a bit far from true for us. There were days when Brian felt sad, depressed, guilty. These days, he wouldn't go to the library with me, tried to avoid talking about Freddie or Queen, which was practically impossible at times. I tried to comfort him as best I could, reminding him that none of it was his fault. As the months went by, Brian was getting better. He even worked on a new song, but he didn't finish it completely, he added and adapted his ideas to it when he felt like it.

In my attempts to console him, I came to remember something that Brian loved to do and I learned to love because of him.

"Bri, I was thinking ..." I began, as I pulled the table out of the dining room, "do you want to go to Hyde Park?" Just you and me? I mean, I love the kids, but, we can take them another day with us ..."

"It's not a bad idea," he gave me a small smile, speaking softly.

The next night we left Jimmy and Louisa with Gracey, and after dinner, we went to the place that we didn't go for ages.

"You chose a perfect night to come, Chrissie" Brian reflected, watching the starry sky as we walked side by side hand in hand.

"Yeah, and I didn't check the weather or anything," I added, rather laughterfully, "all I cared about was distracting you a bit."

"Oh, my love" he pulled me closer to him "I know, I know it's not easy for you, I'm just trying not to think much about the future, what's going to be with the band, my present is you, Louisa and Jimmy to look after."

"But it still seems like something is missing" I murmured, carefully and understandingly.

It wasn't easy to get rid of a routine and, above all, a friendship, built over 13 years, it was a break too big to ignore. But what gave me hope was that no one had determined a definite end to the Queen, there were still chances of the boys joining again, I still believed that, although now it was difficult for Brian to see this.

We sat in silence, in the same place we always sat, watching the immensity of the universe over us.

"What about your thesis"? I asked suddenly, associating what we were doing with his currently interrupted scholarly work.

"My thesis?" Brian frowned in surprise. "You really think I should get back to work? Right away?"

"Maybe it's not the ideal time, but you're having the time and it's something you love" I said, "and I know very well how much it bothers you to have left your work unfinished."

"Chrissie, this is ..." He paused, thinking for a moment, then decided "I can try again, yes, I still have the books, and I've been giving a recent, good look in new stuff, it looks like it's all that's left to me to do now. Thank you so much for reminding me and suggesting this."

"You're welcome," I replied as he kissed my cheek, I was also feeling happy.

The lack we felt from Queen didn't go away, but going back to studying astrophysics helped Brian deal with it better. But over time, the media after their scathing analysis, conjectured and began to disclose on its own that probably the Queen band had come to an end. That's when my corporate phone didn't stop ringing.

We had two lines at home, one staff and one for work. The second was just to answer everything that concerned Brian as an artist and Queen, and it was on this line that he received proposals for an interview with Brian to clarify what had happened to the band, from newspapers, magazines, radios and even television. My response was always to forward the matter to Mr. May and return with a decision made by him.

We avoided this media subject for a while, I knew he was still shaken, but seeing that I no longer could say no to them, Brian decided to take action.

"There's only one way to stop it, I'm going to have to do an interview," he said, not very excited.

"I know, but if you accept just one, maybe more reporters will come after you" I pondered, "but if we choose a type of interview that answers all their questions, they will reproduce en masse, and others won't want to look for you anymore, it has to be one with a great reach, only the TV is like that. Just the one that most exposes the image."
"
"But expose my interview that answers all the questions" Brian was understanding, "and don't worry about exposure, I'm used to it."

"So I can say yes to an interview for" Good Morning Britain "? I wanted to confirm.

"It's the only way," he shrugged, convinced it was the only solution.

"Still, Bri, I think we can get rid of them," I added thoughtfully.

"What do you mean, honey?" Brian was intrigued.

"They're going to ask direct questions, specifically about Freddie" I've been presenting what I was thinking "and whatever happens, don't mention the fight, or his solo album, if they mention the subject, then you answer but never talk about it, because if it leaks over the fight, it will be terrible for the image of Queen and for each of the four of you."

"I understand, Chrissie, it's a big challenge, but I'm willing to face it." Brian's expression was solemn.

As I had learned, facing the situation was the only way to solve it for good.