Through Chrissie's eyes

Our Light

I had already gone through a birthing process, but the same difference I felt during pregnancy, I felt right now that my baby was coming into the world. The pain seemed bigger, the difficulties too, it seemed that time didn't pass, and as the sweat trickled on my face, the panic increased inside me. I had inner doubts, if everything really would go as well as I'd promised Brian. For him, for Jimmy, for the baby, I couldn't give up. I sighed again, regaining my strength, ready to push again.

"It's here, she was born!" Dr. Carter announced.

Even so, I was still worried, I hadn't heard any crying.

"It's a girl?" I asked, pleased and surprised "but where is she, why didn't she cry? This is not normal! I, I want to see her, please let me see her, to see if she's okay ..."

Ironically, my little girl cried when they brought her into my arms. It meant that everything was fine, she was crying, she was reacting to everything around her.

"Calm down, calm down..." I looked a her desperate little face "I'm your mother ... I am here to protect you, my little princess, calm down... you are so beautiful ..."

But my little one kept crying.

"What's wrong with her? Why don't you stop crying?" when I heard me out loud, I saw how contradictory it was to worry about her not crying, and now that she was crying, I was more desperate.

"We'll check her, Mrs. May, please be calm, "said the nurse, taking my baby from my arms.

If I didn't understand the procedures and I was stronger, I would fight to keep her with me. All I wanted was to comfort her, even though I didn't know the reason for her crying.

As I regained my strength, the weeping sound subsided and my heart slowed as I calmed down. I waited patiently until I saw her again.

I took her carefully, nestling her gently in my arms. Her eyes were wide open, watching every detail of my face. We watched each other in silence, just me and my little girl. She definitely looked more like me, but curiously the cheeks reminded me of Brian's. Her thin hair was blond, like some of my relatives.

"It's all right now ..." I whispered to her.

Suddenly, my little girl smiled. It was incredible, I always thought she would be Daddy's little girl, but here it was just me and her, in a moment just between us, recognizing each other as mother and daughter. That smile illuminated my heart, my mind, the worries and sorrows I was feeling lately.

"Chrissie ..." Brian spoke my name with some timidity, but clearly delighted to see us both "it's ..."

"It's a girl, I know, we barely think of that possibility ..." I reflected, which was odd given Roger's jokes about Rory "but she's here."

"I ..." he still hesitated "I never thought we'd have a girl, you know ..."

"I know, I know, but I'm here to help you, don't forget that I'm here, Brian, I mean, not only in front of you, but whenever you need me " I was understanding, all that fear was still guilty "Come on, she needs to meet her father."

Without further hesitation, Brian hurried his steps toward us, and watched our little girl on my lap.

"She's beautiful, so beautiful ..." he tried to take one of her hands, very slowly, and she ended up grabbing his finger with her little fingers "she ... choose her name, Chrissie, I know you already had girl names in your mind."

"Actually, my love, I have a perfect name" I said, looking at him and then at her "Louisa, my little light, which led all darkness away".

"Louisa May" Brian said "really perfect."

Before he caught Louisa, he wiped his tears away quickly, and stood in a corner, just watching her, having that moment of acknowledging each other as father and daughter.

"I wanted to take a picture of you now" I said.

"No, it's my hobby" Brian managed to play "I can get a picture of us at home, I promise I'll take it."

"I believe you" I nodded.

He then came over to me again, returning Louisa to my lap.

"Do you think I can be the father of a girl?" my husband wondered again "I could barely talk to girls when I was younger, now being the father of a girl ... Will I be able to give good advice? Will I be able to understand her?"

"Have you forgotten what I just said, Brian Harold May?" I pretended to be angry "I'm here to help you, remember that being parents is teamwork? I think we've taken good care of Jimmy. And you're acting just like Roger ... Speaking of him, the boys and the girls are here?"

"Um ..." Brian's expression wilted for a moment "no, I ... I was alone outside ..."

"Why?" I asked, already imagining the answer.

It's not just because everyone was busy with something.

"I couldn't call anyone, deep down I didn't want to talk to the guys ..." he confessed, embarrassed.

"Freaking Hot Space ..." I sighed, tired of that fight and childbirth "at least call the Taylors, I know you're not angry with Roger, tell them that the baby was born and they'll be in charge of telling John, Veronica and Freddie."

"Thank you." Brian smiled and left.

"Bri!" I called before he opened the door "I love you, okay? Don't forget it."

"I love you, too" he said without hesitation, then left.

Brian was breaking my heart being in that condition and I knew he was going through one of those moments when he needed to hear a "I love you".

It was a time after almost everyone was together to meet Louisa.

"Oh, what a lovely little girl ..." Aunt Dom was the first to speak "she looks like you, Chrissie."

"I think so too" Veronica added, "but she has a little bit of Brian."

"The cheeks, right?" I pointed, which made my husband confused and John and Roger laugh.

"What do you mean, cheeks?" Brian asked. "I thought it was her nose that looked like mine. And the color of the eyes, definitely Louisa has the color of my eyes."

"No, the nose looks a bit like the two of you" Roger said, watching the baby in my lap.

"Why don't you let Jimmy decide this?" suggested John, who was more shy than usual.

It was clear he was still feeling awkward because of Brian.

"I'm going to ask him when we go home." I smiled at Deaky, trying to be a peacemaker "and Freddie? Anyone heared from him?"

"His phone was muted" Roger shrugged. "As usual..."

"Yeah ..." I just smiled.

I was worried about my family, but as I looked at Louisa, the worries were gone again. Her uncles and aunts said goodbye, until I noticed Brian uneasy, thinking of doing something. His look at me told me what it was.

"You'll get it solved out at once," I said delicately, but firmly.

I knew that all Brian wanted was to apologize to John and have him accept it. I looked at Louisa again, hoping it would be okay.

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