Through Chrissie's eyes

Apology

We breathed deeply, almost in sync, before getting out of the car. Brian tried to return to his usual lull, I tried to forget the fight, but it still echoed in my head. I knew that everything was already well between us, but all the tension of the moment still left us shaken.

So we went inside, Gracey was with Jimmy, sitting in front of him at the dinner table, watching him draw.

"Hi " I managed to greet them with sympathy despite my condition "is it all right here, Gracey?"

"Mom, come see the drawing I made." Jimmy stood up and pulled me by the hand. "It's a gift for Dad, actually."

"Really?" I smiled at my little one, but Brian was already out of my sight "uh ... Why don't you go and deliver it to him while I talk to Gracey? I'm sure your father will be very happy."

"Is it beautiful?" Jimmy sought my approval while showing me his work of art, despite the irregular scribbles, I understood that it was a drawing of Brian as an astronaut, floating in the midst of planets and stars.

"Beautiful!" I praised with all my heart and my boy ran after his father.

"Mrs. May, I ... " Gracey hesitated again, she still felt shy sometimes, which I understood well.

"You can speak" I encouraged.

"I don't think so, I ... I was going to ask about Mr. May and he's not well, and I don't want to intrude" she continued "I just hope he feels better, you two, you three, I mean, Jimmy is fine, he behaved as well as ever and everything. I think I'd better get going."

"Gracey" I called, interrupting her quick steps. "Thank you for caring about us, we'll be fine, I promise."

"That's good" she smiled. " Tell Mr. May I said hello, and, bye."

"Bye" I managed to feel a little better by saying goodbye to her.

After another frustrated sigh, I went into the kitchen and decided the only thing I could do to feel good was chamomile tea. I waited it to be ready, and during that time I saw no sign of my boys. Of course I started to worry.

"Brian? Jimmy?" I called from the middle of the room loud and clear.

A moment later, they came to me.

"Daddy loved my drawing, but he's sad, why are you sad?" Jimmy was worried and looking at my husband, I felt my heart breaking.

He had cried a short while ago, his eyes were swollen, his gaze lost, as if his mind was traveling to another dimension.

"Daddy had quarreled with your uncles, honey" I tried to be as simple as I could when I talked to Jimmy.

"But they apologized?" the little one asked "it's just to apologize that this passes."

"Yeah" Jimmy managed to get a smile from Brian "maybe."

"My love." I turned to Jimmy. "Why don't you draw a little more, okay?"

"All right" Jimmy agreed without hesitation, returning to the dining room and leaving us alone.

I left Brian just to get tea for the two of us, I offered the cup and he took it with both hands and he thanked me softly. I sat beside him with all the care of the world.

"I never spoke with you that way..." he reflected with regret. "God, what happened to me?"

"It's okay now, I know you're really sorry ..." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "This recording is driving you crazy, we all ..."

"Even so, I felt so helpless and alone, with no one to support my opinion, I hoped that you ..." He stopped to think of what to say "no, you did right, scolded me before something worse would happen ..."

"That's just why I interrupted you" I said.

"And I thank you for that, really." He smiled sheepishly at me, taking a sip of his tea right away.

I retaliated with a more open smile, and kissed his cheek, so he could feel it was all right.

Brian tried not to lose his cool in the studio, he just got used to the idea of the album and did what he was asked to do, whether to use the guitar or not, to sing and in the variations of the second voice in the choir arrangements.

There was still time to finish, but while "Hot Space" wasn't ready, another important date came, the day we would have our second baby. Early in the morning, I began to feel the first signs and the shaking so rare during gestation, but soon I would have a little son or daughter moving in my arms. Dominique came to get Jimmy, who would be under the Taylors' care. (With her care so that Roger didn't do any mischief with the boys and Rory).

We went to the hospital as marked by Dr. Carter. But we just waited and waited for the baby to arrive in the hospital room.

"Is that right?" Brian questioned from my side, "aren't we early?"

"No, the day is today, I can assure you, my love" I already knew that considering everything I had when Jimmy was born "we just have to be patient."

"Fine." He took a deep breath, holding my hand.

"Calm down Bri, it's going to be all right" I smiled.

"I'm surprised you're not nervous," he countered.

"Who says I'm not?" I was a little more serious "I'm just calmer because I've been there, but just thinking about going through it all again ... Oh my God ..."

And suddenly, we were equally nervous, and we laughed together about it. That's when I felt the time had come.

"Call the doctor, it will be now!" I said, startled.

"Okay, okay ..." He nodded and did as I asked.

Dr. Carter examined me and decided that I was right.

"Mr. May, you can leave the room now, your wife and your child will be fine" the doctor said.

"I can't stay? Really? I ... she ... I love her, I don't want to leave her alone" Brian sounded like a desperate teenager, but I knew that was the worry and guilt still speaking louder.

"I'm sorry, sir, we can only have the patient and the medical staff in the room, I promise you'll be the first to know when the baby is born" the doctor explained.

"It's okay, Bri, I love you, I'll be fine, we'll be fine." I grabbed his hand as he was still close and I kissed it.

With that, he just nodded, smiled at me, but I saw tears in the corners of his eyes. He didn't turn his back to me until he left the room.

And with that image of Brian shaken in my head, I braced myself for what was to come. Our family would receive their newest member in a few moments.