Through Chrissie's eyes

Confessions

After these unfortunate occasions, I couldn't avoid getting screwed. In a slow but shocking way, I felt sad, scared and shaken. To think that every time I went to a show or was involved with something that was related to Queen made me a target of nasty criticism or completely disrespected or ignored, made me want to avoid participating in this part of the boys' lives.

Going to the studio was Queen's safest activity for me at the time and they weren't recording now, which meant they were busy with interviews and shows. I even listened to some interviews, but being in the presence of the media, I remembered the bad things, that they judged without mercy or pity, without caring that they were talking about a human being with real feelings.

I began to refuse when Brian asked me to go with him to the television or radio. When he asked why, I said I was busy with school projects, which was true, but not the real reason I didn't want to go.

"You're not overworked, are you?" asked my husband, after so many refusals with the same excuse.

"No, no, of course not." I managed to smile at his concern for me. "I'm only occupied in a good part of my time, that's all."

"Just that?" He raised an eyebrow, still wanting to confirm that I was all right.

"Yes!" I smiled, and I sighed, feeling embarrassed, and putting a lock of hair behind my ear "don't care so much about it, okay? It's all work."

"Okay," I managed to persuade him, at least for the moment.

And then I started to leave the shows earlier. At the first chords of God Save the Queen, which the boys always played to close their performances, O would leave our cabin, use the emergency exits to get out of the place where we were, take a cab and go home.

The first time I did this, Brian was too surprised.

"Is everything okay, my love?" he asked softly as I laid still.

"I didn't feel well and I thought I'd better come home" I improvised another tattered excuse.

"Are you feeling anything?" Brian continued to worry.

"No, no ..." I denied "I think it was just tiredness."

"I understood, so rest, we'll talk tomorrow." He kissed my forehead and left me a little alone.

I wanted to scream, hug him, ask not to leave me alone, but I didn't want to bother him. I drifted off to sleep, and the next day I continued my old routine. Thank God what was still a part of it was our home meetings, which always made me happy and made me forget all the problems and worries. And it was my favorite reminder that the Queen members were not what the media were talking about them, they were normal people, wonderful men, members of my family. As well as the girls who, even without me saying anything, started giving me tighter hugs and telling funny stories much more often.

"No, I confess I laughed," Dominique said to all of us about seeing the clip of "I'm in love with my car."

"When I went to see why she was laughing so hard, I didn1t believe it" Roger made his disappointment clear.

"But ..." Beyrand started to laugh again "when you imagine a car instead of a girlfriend ... For example, how do you open the car door for her to leave, if your girlfriend is the car itself? Is it going to go hand in hand with the car leaning against its hood? Won't you need someone else to drive? Isn't this person be the third wheel?"

"You're going to mock me for the rest of my life, eh?" Roger asked the group "you know what, you can laugh guys, I understand that you don't understand my logic, I'm already used to it..."