Anorexia, it kills - 01 ~ Yoongi X Bts ~

he's healthy

 ~ Some point of views will be used that aren't Yoongi's, but I will write Point of view (POV) so you know whom exactly it is ~

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Jimin POV 

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows at me, "Jimin?"

I stop pacing in front of his doorway, and look at him, "Shit..."

"What's up?" he says, in a soft morning voice. He tilts his head to the side. That's my thing! And Yoongi's too.. poor Yoongi.

I look up from the hard-wood floor, "I-i was just wondering, as I was out here. You could help me?"

He pats the spot beside him, and I walk over, shutting the door securely behind me. "So, Jimin~ What do you need help with? What's up?"

"Yoongi," I say, quickly letting the name out, but Taehyung seems to be staring off into space. I shake his arm, "Now I see! This is why...this is why." 

I get up, and rush out. I make my way down the stairs. I take a breath, and punch the table once I reach the kitchen. That hurt my knuckles, ouch. I place my head onto the table. Maybe if I just sit like this real quick, I won't feel like such a shit friend. And band mate, as well. I can just picture Taehyung, coming down, "You're so dramatic." Ugh! I just hate it, I hate that my mind does that. All I wanted to do was help Yoongi, and I screwed up talking to Taehyung! It isn't that hard, Jimin.  I can do this, for my Yoongi. 

"You alright?" Jin says, his hand laid out on the table flat out, "You seem, hm, frustrated. What's got you in such a pickle?"

I giggle, "You said pickle..."

He chuckles, "Don't try and change the subject, Jiminie, I know all the tricks you've got up your sleeve. Come on, tell me."

I lift my head up, and we both take our seats on the chairs before us.

"Well..." I say, fake smiling at him. 

"Well? Are you going to spit it out or not?" he says, smiling at me. god, I can't hold it in much longer.

I lean forward to his ear, "I think Yoongi is anorexic," I whisper softly to him, "B-badly anorexic."

My mind starts to flash with last night. His jawline so sharp it could cut through anything. His collarbone so visible, you could fit your fists in it. His rib cage, caving over his tiny stomach. His arms and legs were like sticks. He looked so sick, and small..I wish I was there to help him, in the beginning. 

I look over at Jin, who looks like his mind has gone wild. "Jiminie...yo-you're right," he stutters, "Ou-our Yoongi is a-anorexic."

"He's addicted, Jin. He's barley even 39 kg," I say, "Jin, he could fucking die!" I try to keep my voice down, afraid Yoongi might hear me. Hopefully that wasn't too loud.

Yoongi POV (Main Character)

I groan, and stare at the clock on my wall. 10:34 am?! Did I actually sleep in? I could've used that time to work out! My body is now useless to the point where I can't even do shit at a proper 7:30 am workout. Damn, I'm so fucking useless. God can't even help me now.

I sigh, maybe this can be a way to show Jimin I'm okay. 'Hey Jiminie, I didn't work out. I'm good' Sounds like an awfully horrid comeback and/or protection towards...my pride? Do I even have pride at this point? What am I even protecting myself from? I know what it is, I just won't admit it to myself. Or to anyone, for that matter. 

I take off my sweater, and poke at the non existent fat of my stomach. But all I see is fat. A big fat, plump, idiot. A muffin top. An elephant. A hippo. A fucking lazy bum. That's me. All those things, into one, fat, ugly, mistake of a human.

"Yoongiii!" Jungkook says, collapsing onto my bed, "Let's go! Let's go!"

"Go where?" I say, sitting up while rubbing my eyes. Why is he suddenly so jumpy? Jungkook has been a bit...strange these past few days. To everyone. But me, since we haven't talked much anyhow.

"Oh...anywhere. I wanna hang out with you!" He says, hugging me tight, "We've been too distant, Yoongi."

"Yeah, I've been busy getting small," I say, not noticing what I said. I flinch, as I snap back into reality, "Fuck.."

If anyone here understood my addiction, it was Jungkook. He had anorexia last year, and went down to 43 kg. I was the one who helped him through, along with the doctors him and I went to privately to help him. Jungkook had so much self hatred, even though, he was and still is beautiful. He's so perfect, and thin. I want to be like Jungkook. Maybe I can go lower then 43 kg, which I am. Why am I so proud of it...? 

Because, I'm the smallest now. 

"No, no, no," Jungkook says, as he stares at me without my shirt on, "This can't be. Yoongi, why?"

"I like it," I say, "It hurts, it's hard, but it's okay."