Anorexia, it kills - 01 ~ Yoongi X Bts ~

Oh No, Oh no...

Taehyung POV

It's as if the world knew what I hated the most; exposure. Not the type for publicity, that I had no choice but to do. But exposure for what has happened to me? I absolutely despise that with all my goddamn self. Maybe I was being a touch too dramatic, but who really cared at this point? If that drama was needed, I was going to give it as hard as I feel is needed. Without a single doubt in mind, other then the doubt of doubt. So maybe, yeah there's a doubt.

Why did Jimin have to do that to Jungkook? It was stupid, it was ridiculous, and hurt me more then it hurt Jungkook, to my surprise. I wanted it to all be okay, but I wasn't sure what to do with this growing anger and pain inside of me. I didn't want to give into the pain, and hurt myself physically as well. I know better then that now, don't I? I know who to go to, and who to talk to. But how do I talk about this when we're on a flight back to Korea, and Jimin and Jungkook are talking to each other? I'm jealous, and I unquestionably hate it.

So who was I going to go to? The only other person who may understand, not that I'd talk about it with them but; I can give it a try!

I sink into my seat beside Yoongi, a stern look present on his face as he looks at me, "are you okay? Do you need a...hug?" He asked. My face softened into a grin, 'yes'

"Bring it in, come on," he says, moving the small barrier between us (an armchair), and hugging me. His hug was soft and cozy, although he was progressing he still felt pretty thin. Gah, why am I thinking about this now?

I retract back, and rub my eye, "thank you hyung, how did you know I needed one. You're not a psychic, right?" I jolt up, and my face brightens at the sudden impossible thought. Jungkook keeps me somewhat sane, to say the least.

"I'm not, Tae," he says with a slight chuckle at me, "I could just see it, and I know how you feel about this all. I felt like that, but if you just toss the feeling out the airplane window and let it plummet down and sink to the bottom of the sea. You'll be great!" His jaw clenched as he gave me a fair view up and down. What was he checking for? My hands were tucked into my sleeves, and my hood was up. Maybe I looked tired, but I think we all were. This week had been tiring, and the endless flights were about to come to an end for maybe a week.

"I guess, no to that extreme. I should've done that long ago, but my brain works to well," I say with a chuckle, pointing at my head. He shrugs, "need to talk about it?"

"No, I'd prefer other things right now hyung," I whined, giving him a signature look, "unless you have something else to say to me?" I drag my hands further up my sleeves, putting them into little fists on the sides of my seat on the plane.

"Not just yet, how'd you know?" He says, "I guess I've lost my secretive touch, oh well." He grabs me by my shoulders, and pulls me atop of him. Cuddles, perfect cuddles. It wasn't weird, we all kinda of did it to each other. Especially on flights. Gather warmth, and all that shit.

"Tell me!" I pleaded, pulling a blanket onto us from the side. I wrap it around us, and make sure it secure and making us both word. I'm considerate, and it's unintentional sometimes, in al honesty.

"Aish, fine. Just..don't be so loud. Or dramatic, or you about it. Besides, this doesn't seem like you," he says, nudging my arms slightly under the covers, "ready, TaeTae?" I rubbed my arm at his sudden touch, and nodded with a brief hesitation.

"It's going to sound really fucking stupid, Tae," he says. I shake my head at him, and try not to put much of my weight on him. I'm taller, and he's light. I don't feel like I should kill him with my weight today. Or ever, might I add in.

"If you tell me, I'll tell you something," I plead, pouting at him. Now I was dying to know, Yoongi has never left me in such a great suspense. It's killing me, although it shouldn't.

"Do you have something to tell me?"

"No, but I can think of something!" I say, pouting even harder at him, "come, spill it! Do it....now! Yoongi, please!~"

He chuckles slightly, "alright, fine. I know it's been a few weeks since your incident. But I know it's dumb to say now, but; I can't stop thinking about it. A-and about you. Stupid fucking stutter of mine, sorry Tae. I know that you're fine, well I don't know, but I hope so. Are you?" His eyes fall on mine, and I nod quickly at him.

"Alright," he confirms aloud to himself, "but are you positive?" He looked at my with troubled eyes, his eyes were fogging up and I couldn't do anything about it. Yoongi, he was hardly ever the type to address things so directly. Not even to Jimin. Yet again even show how worried he truly was. I'm unsure if Yoongi himself is okay. He's never be one to pay much attention to me. We talk often as friends, but he more as.. observes me. Jimin and Jungkook are ex's, not toxic or anything. But, I honestly thought it made him more uncomfortable. Yoongi wasn't that type, but I won't mess up in front of him if I know how to keep it all together.

"Why are you so worried?" I ask, the slight smile fading from my face.

He blinked out the little tears, "I-i told you, i-it's stupid!" He hopped up, making me jump in my spot, but not loosing my grip on my sleeves.

He spread the blanket on our laps, and sighed, "I'm sorry, I'm all touchy feely now. It's weird for me, okay? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Tae." He shook his head, and placed his face onto his hands, "what is going on with me?"

"You're not letting yourself say what you want to say," I say, my lip curling in as I placed my sleeve tied hands into my hoodie's pocket without hesitation.

"Why are you holding onto your sweater?" He asks, as I shrug in response.

"Don't avoid the question."

"Well, don't avoid my question, Tae."

"Why do you need to know?" I say, biting my lip as the nerves overcame me. Had he noticed? No, he could not've noticed. I was unquestionably sly. Without a single doubt, sly. I think? Now I doubt it slightly.

"Because it's going to help me say what I want to say," he mumbles, "I think, at least. Partially..." His eyes travelled up to mine, and he let out a chuckle as he fidgeted with his thumbs again one another, 'please Tae? Not telling me is just suspicious'

My head drops, and I sigh, letting go of the bottom of my hoodie's sleeves. I expose my hands out. The few cuts along my fingers, palm, and back hand are laid out bare before his eyes. I feel my mood drop by at least thirty percent. Why was I never slick enough?

He picks up my hands, and looks up at me as his eyes wetted up again. He rubbed it off with the back of his hand, and pulled my hands closer to his chest, "Taehyung, what have you been doing to yourself again?" He gave me a heavily worried look, and his lip quivered as he had spoken to me. Something was surely off with me, he knew that, and I knew that.

But something was off with Yoongi too. Just, what was it?

What am I missing?

'you tell me'