Anorexia, it kills - 01 ~ Yoongi X Bts ~

Emotions overtake at night, but happiness sprawls through the morning

Yoongi POV

The room was still, because it was clearly about 3 am in the morning. God, why can't I sleep well anymore. It's honestly been days since I've last slept at most a solid 8 hours. I've been averaging about three hours, maybe four if I get lucky. It's just me though, it's my problem. My mistake for overthinking, everything.

I shift from side to side, trying to get comfortable in Jimin's arms. I am comfortable, but just in my head, I don't feel right. I feel like I'm not doing well enough for Jimin. Especially after what he said before we slept, I heard it.

"Are you awake?" He asks in a whisper, as I open my eyes to look at him. He nods, and cuddles me tighter, "Ah, you're awake."

"Sadly," I chuckle out, listening to the steady sound of his breathing as it trickles down my neck.

"You kept shifting," he says, "Around in the bed, it woke me up, but I'm glad it did."

"Why are you happy to be woken up?" I ask, resting my head on the pillow more loosely. I'm so tense, but why? I'm comfortable around him, so what is it?

"Any extra moment with you is a good one," he tells me softly, trying not to wake the other members. Although our door is shut, he's still putting in that extra effort for them. He's so cute...

"No, really tell me why," I say, nudging his chest.

"I don't know, are you sure you really want to know?" He speaks, "Or really need to know why?"

"Well if you don't trust me with it," I say, "That's fine."

"I do trust you, I just had a nightmare. But thank god you woke me out of it," he says, "I thought I would loose you..."

"You could never," I say, kissing his forehead softly, "Never."

He hugs me, "I know, but just the thought scares me. You understand, right?"

I nod, "yeah, I do."

"Could I ask you a question? But be honest with me, don't make a fib so I feel better about myself," I sigh, as I stare down. My cheeks flush in embarrassment, but he can't see it through the darkness of the hollow night.

"Yeah, anything," he says, as I pull him closer as my nerves condense, "You okay?"

"Do you think I'm relapsing?"

"I d-don't know, baby," he stutters, as he holds my hand, "I hope not, what do you think?"

"I'm asking you, because i don't really know myself," I assure him, as I let go of his hand. I stand up, and walk towards the window. I sit on the windowsill, and sigh, "Maybe I am, just not in the same way. Unintentionally, not purposely skipping. Just, not having the time. I guess, I still am insecure. I'll never really officially stop, I'm sorry. I'm just figuring out the final pieces of my mess."

I slowly realize that I'm only in the shorts, and the insecurities take over me. I quickly put on my dramatically oversized hoodie, and remain seated on the windowsill.

"It's ok," he says, as he turns on the light by the bedside, "It's ok."

"I'm not gonna talk about this any more, after now," I say, "So, if you have anything else to say. Say it, or ask it. Or whatever, before I head back to sleep. At least before the interview, and flight. You have a day."

"Oh," he says, kicking his head back onto the backboard of the bed, "Well, firstly. A person is never done with their insecurities, but I promise you. I will stay with you until the end, and make as much effort as I physically can to make you feel comfortable as you. Because, I think you've finally taught me."