When Yoongi looked in the mirror, all he saw was a ghost.
"Jimin, I want to get better."
All Jimin did was smile, and pull fragile little Yoongi into a teddy bear hug.
-
'I want to be as skinny as Yoongi was.." he mutters, "Skinnier, even. I want t...
We're told that the meds will be about half an hour, so that gives us time to purchase a bit of food.
"High in calories things," Namjoon says, "For Jimin and Yoongi."
"Yoongi-ah is anorexic?" Hoseok says, the light in his eyes dimming.
Namjoon looks at us, "I think so."
"He has lost quite a bit of weight again, but that doesn't mean he is..." I say, biting vigorously at my nails.
"Jin, hyung. Stop biting at your nails," Hoseok says gently to me, "I'm probably wrong, okay?"
Jin nods, "Ah...sorry."
"It's okay Jin," Namjoon says, grasping me into a hug.
I nod, and remain silent for the rest of our time there. Too many visions and thoughts were spiralling in my head. I looked down at my phone;
Instagram: SUGA has a new post
I click on the notification, and feast my eyes on the photo.
SUGA
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
SUGA when will I glow up?
Mochiongi idk probably never
morethenu ew where did you wear that
thebestblanket when did he gain so much weight lol
llalandvibe this is why i hate bts, especially yoongi, look at his fat ass
yyoongi You already did, when you were born <3 I love you~
bitchbeme EW he gained so much I canttttttt lmao
15, 234 comments
I gasped under my breath, "Jin, are you driving?" Hoseok asks, as I get into the drivers seat. I was shaking, as I grabbed the stearing wheel.
"Y-y-yeah of course," I say, faintly smiling into the rearview mirror, as I calmed myself down, "Yoongi posted on Instagram."
"Aw!" Hoseok and Namjoon say, cooing at the photo.
"Read the comments," I say, "I-i-i wanna cry."
I start the car, and start to drive. "Jin!" Hoseok says, "Stop the car."
I shake my head, and continue to drive, "I'll be fine, but imagine how Yoongi feels after reading the thousands of comments like that....it's awful."
"I know..." Namjoon says, "His Jawline is so prominent, I'm afraid he's falling in again. or if the comments make him fall in again."
I nod, and continue to drive.
It was a very silent ten minutes. But we all needed it.
_________
Yoongi POV
I sigh, and lean my head against the couch's arm rest. "Fuck," I mutter, knowing if anyone even heard, they wouldn't care.
Right?
"Hyung," Jungkook groaned, "Shush."
"You shush," I say, getting up. His arm is around Taehyung, as they both stare at the tv.
Jungkook's eyes dart at mine, "Where are you going?"
"To get my blades," I say, thinking I thought it.
"Wait, what?" Taehyung says, pausing the show, "To get your what, hyung?"
"I-i..." I say, trembling for words, "Nothing." I feel myself go pale, and tears welling in my eyes. don't cry, you fat ass. I've come back, haven't I? I helped you in the past, so just listen to me now. Don't cry, don't tell them.
"Hyung?" Taehyung says, as the two of them embrace me in a sandwiched hug. I pull myself back, and sigh. Should I listen to the voice? Do I even have a choice?
I try and walk away, but get pulled back. Jungkook's arms on my shoulders, "Can we talk with you?"
"Why?"
"Blades."
"Huh?" I say, confused by him.
"Babe, go find these 'blades' of Yoongi's," Jungkook says, as his eyes go soft with tears. One streaking down his face slowly.
Taehyung nods, and rushes to find them. I sit down with Jungkook on the couch, and sigh, "I'm sorry for all the trouble I'm causing."
He shakes his head, "It's okay, Yoongi." he lets out a shaky sigh, and hugs me tight, "how many are there?"
"Maybe six," I say, grunting it out, hoping he won't understand my words.
"Six cuts????" he says, as I hear his heart beat faster out of his chest.
"Jungkook-ah, calm down. No, six blades. I haven't counted the cuts, aish. I'm not that cruel to myself," I say, chuckling slightly at my darkness.
"Show me," he says, as he starts to roll up my sleeves. he counts them, and it comes to a total of; "23..."
"That's not bad," I say, "It's not that bad Jungkook!"
he breaks down in tears, "Any cut is bad! Any self inflicted harm is BAD! Yoongi, when will you understand?"
"I don't know...Jungkook?"
"Y-y-yes hyung?"
"Do you....ever have a voice in your head? One that isn't yours?"
He nods, "Not for a while though, I haven't been like that."
I nod, "It may be hard to explain, but I have a twisted family of voices in my head. They never leave for good. Ana, the voice of my anorexia. Depression has a voice too...same with anxiety, and self harm...and suicide; more as suicidal thoughts. I'm never able to control them, no one has ever helped me to control them, Jungkook-ah."
"Hasn't Jimin?" he says shakily.
I nod, "But, he stopped. I know it's selfish, but I can't be okay without help."
"We all will help you," Jungkook says, as Taehyung arrives with the blades, sealed tightly in a plasstic blades.
Taehyung is crying, too. Jimin trails behind him, as runs to me once he sees me. He hugs me tightly, "B-b-b-baby I'm s-s-so sorry..."
I hug him back and pull my sleeves down, "It's okay....it's okay. Nothing to apologize for."
"Okay..." he says, "W-w-we can eat together, yeah?"
I nod, "Yeah...."
--------
can someone pls help me I can't write :( this is so bad im cringing so hard.
Alsoooo if you know any good ways to learn korean, Hit me up? lol, anyway ily all, gn/gm/ge/ga! <33333333
