Anorexia, it kills - 01 ~ Yoongi X Bts ~

Guilt.

Third person POV

he felt it in the pit of his stomach. guilt. guilt. when he opened that bathroom door. guilt. when he turned on the shower. guilt. when he shoved those skinny two little fingers down his throat. guilt. when he threw up his entire days eating. guilt. when he went back to his and Jimin's room after and said he was ok.

"how'd you shower?" he asked, and Yoongi simply nodded. Jimin believe him, and it broke his heart. he just pulled the covers over them, turning the lights off quickly. the lights would show his fat, and his guilt. he couldn't show that things he grieved about the most that day. god knows how much more it would hurt him inside.

Jimin kissed his neck, "i know it'll be hard, but it's worth it. you know i've dealt with this too, mm? so you can too...again." Jimin hated the word again the most that night.

• • •

Morning arose sooner then they all wanted, and the 7 members dressed cozily as advised by Namjoon several times last night, and that very morning. Yoongi was happy about that, he wanted to hide himself.

They got in the limousine, and they all started talking. Some preferred to remain silent, for their own good. Or just at that thought that it might be beneficial for them. Names dare not be mentioned, if they haven't been made obvious enough.

Jimin clasped his hand in Yoongi's, feeling a little awkward about it. He hated that it felt like that now, but he knew this recovery would be hard, even if he knew all his little tricks, excuses, and tendencies. "I think we might do something on the beach," Hoseok says, Namjoon gives him a confused look. "No offense, but we're wearing sweaters, and pants," Jin said, receiving a pout from Hoseok in response. "what do you think were doing then?"

he asked this to no one in particular. he just said it.

"i think Hoseok may be right," spoke Taehyung, getting a little smile exchange with Hoseok in return.

the car went a little quiet after that, but not for long. "um...are we gonna get lunch there?" Jimin asked everyone, circling his thumb around Yoongi's palm in a calming matter. it surely didn't calm anything in him when Jimin mentioned food. food? he didn't want to eat. he just wanted to starve, even if it meant death. when did his headspace get so bad? mere hours ago he was determined to make a difference in his own body, and now killing himself was on his mind.

mentally, he cursed himself for being that way. it wasn't the first time that day.

"yes, they're gonna bring in food," Namjoon says, showing off his dimples in an iconic smile. Hoseok's heart fluttered at the sight, and he dipped in to kiss Namjoon's cheek.

Yoongi drew his mouth close to Jimin's ear, "please don't make me," was all he whispered. his voice shaky, tired, and beaten up. internally he had just beaten himself to the core. "baby, you have to," Jimin assured, exhaling, "as much as you can, i won't force so much, but at least a little something. you can't keep doing this to yourself. i'm sorry, i really am." Yoongi grumbled, and leaned back, feeling annoyed.

why couldn't he just not eat?

why did we need to eat?

'we're here, time for Run BTS!'