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Her heart fractured into a thousand little pieces. There was a strong connection between them that was undeniable and it had formed the instant the both of them met for the first time. It had been instantaneous and intense. Something neither of them had expected, nor wanted. She had been broken far too many times in the past to count on one hand. He had gone through a situation that was eerily similar. He had been honest with her from the beginning. He hadn't wanted anything serious, just someone to hang out with and have fun. Little did he realize the hold that they had on each other.
"I would never ask more from you, Laurent, than you're willing to give." Amanda said softly, trying as hard as she could to keep the tears at bay. "You've been honest with me from the beginning and like you, I didn't want anything serious. Neither of us asked for this connection, but it's there. I wasn't expecting anything but I fell for you, hard. You feel how you feel just as I feel how I feel."
"I can't give you that, Amanda. I am content being alone. I don't believe I am meant to have that family life. You deserve better than I can give you."
He didn't understand...
How could he when he didn't feel the same for her?
She didn't want better. She wanted him. She hadn't wanted anything serious either until she had met him.
Her lower lip quivered as her eyes filled with tears. She wasn't about to let herself cry in front of him. She glanced away, nodding slowly as she took a deep breath.
"As long as we're still friends, Lau, I'm content. I would rather be friends with you than nothing at all."
He smiled and it damn near killed her.
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"Of course, we are."
She gave a sad smile, steeling her nerve and holding her head high. "And we're still going to see It."
His smile widened, though his brow remained furrowed. He could see the pain in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it from him. He could feel it radiating off her in waves, but she held up such a strong front. He had never intended to break her heart but here he was doing just that.
"Absolutely. I wouldn't want to see it with anyone else."
Her sad smile returned. "Good." She turned and picked up her keys off of the counter. "I'll see you later, Lau."
He watched her walk towards the front door, his heart heavy. "Text me when you get home?"
Amanda stopped half way through the door. She glanced over her shoulder towards him standing there. Her lower lip quivered once before she glanced away.
"Always." Her last word seemed to have a hidden meaning behind it and as the door clicked shut softly behind her, Laurent found himself pacing his living room. She made him want that family life, but he knew deep down that it wasn't meant for him. He loved her, there was no doubt about that. She was an amazing woman and a damn good mother to her daughter whom she raised alone. He bit his lower lip as his mind flashed back to the intimacy they had shared. It had been so intense, the connection between them so strong he could have easily gotten lost with her.
Laurent found himself leaning against his front door, the palms of his hands splayed against it as if he could feel her standing on the other side.
She leaned back against the door the instant it shut. She closed her eyes to even out her breathing. She felt like she was hyperventilating, but she wasn't. The world around her narrowed. She was not going to break. Not here. Not until she was alone. Auto pilot took over. Amanda wasn't entirely sure how she had gotten home. It was as if she lost track of time as her mind raced a mile a minute, trying to extinguish the pain she was feeling.
She was in love with her best friend. She loved a man she couldn't have.
The minute the car was in park in her driveway, she shattered. Tears poured down her face as sobs racked her body, making her shake uncontrollably. She didn't blame him. It wasn't his fault. He felt how he felt just as she felt how she did. Barely able to see the screen on her cell phone, she sent him a quick text, letting him know that she had made it home safely.
I'm home.
Not even ten seconds later...
Good, I'm glad. Xoxo. Thank you for hanging out with me.
A smile tugged at a single corner of her mouth, even as a tear fell from it.
You're welcome. 😊 Anytime, Lau.
She left it at that, tossing her phone onto the passenger seat before she finally curled up into a ball in the driver's seat and wept.
Author's Note: My apologies for this short and somewhat morbid scene. I had to get some personal emotions out of the way and yes this scene for me was very personal. I like to think of it as therapy. 😊
