Unattainable

Chapter 25 Almost

SHAWNS POV

FLASHBACK BACK IN TORONTO

(Listen to Photograph by Ed Sheeran while reading this )

My lips, her lips: together as one.

The lights from the ceiling shone down on her face, casting complimentary shadows onto her hallowed cheeks as my hands followed the trail from her lips to her waistline. I picked up the body in the bed and let us fall into each other's arms. She wrapped her legs around my torso as I scooped her up.

We continued to kiss as I bumped into the dresser and she slid onto it, containing the laughter inside.

"We look stupid." She mumbled into the kiss.

I responded by smiling at her as my lips left hers and trailed to her neck.

I felt her warm breath in my neck as I kissed her collar bone leaving a purple mark of mine on the jaw. I felt her hands reach down to the hem line of my shirt as her cool fingertips pressed into the skin just able my jeans.

"Take it off." I felt her breathe.

My breathing stopped and I slowly set her down on the end of the bed again as her hands ran down my chest.

"Are you sure?" I wasn't ready.

"Please."

She undressed me with her eyes and I obeyed. I let my hands fall from her arms and grasped my shirt pulling it slowly over my head. The cold air in the room kissed my chest as the white t left my body and fell to the floor.

She blushed and I looked down at my shoes. I felt her palms on my skin and I know she wanted to become one.

I bent my back so my lips could meet her cheeks.

"Tasha I don't know..."

"Shawn," she lifted my chin and our eyes met and we understood. "I know you're the one and I'm ready. I know you want me too, I know it. You promised never to leave and I know you won't. I believe this is the right moment for us. I know it is."

But it's not.

I took her hand in mine. "Tasha, we-we can't do this..."

"Why?"

"Even though you won't admit it," I sat down next to her and looked right at her trying to make contact with her sensibility. "We aren't ready. We're sixteen, and I know you want to believe that im not leaving but.."

"You are." I watched as years slowly formed in her eyes as her hand slipped around my waist and her head fell against my chest. "I'm sorry it's just I don't know, I wanted to believe this was..forever."

A silence hung between us through the small light the lamp gave off in the corner.

"I can't make promises," I started hesitantly. "Neither can you."

She looked up at me with hurt in her eyes.

Bad idea.

"I don't mean it in a bad way I just mean the futures uncertain...and so are we. I think its best we take it together slowly and see where it goes, but unfortunately I'm not staying and neither are you. Soon school will start and you'll meet people and maybe I will, I don't know, but I do know that I want to be uncertain about everything with you."

I could breathe again.

She shifted and looked at me again. I watched her lips turn up into a smile.

"So this makes us...?"

"Uncertainties." I said. "And one thing I am certain of is that you don't have to sleep with someone to love them. Even just a little."

She laughed as I tickled her sides and felt my heart breaking slowly.

We collapsed into the bed, her clothes chest against my exposed one.

She fell into my arms, and I fell in love.