Unattainable

Chapter 28 Bus Rides

*SHAWNS POV BACK TO ALLEYWAY WHERE DAEMON LEFT HIM AND ASTRID*Why is it that whenever we were holding each other, it was because one of us was breaking?We sat there in each other's arms as the rain began to fall on us. My side ached and her hands were shaking, but I couldn't let go.

"Shawn-""I'm so sorry, he's going to give you such a hard time," I winced.

"Maybe even harder than he hit me." I tried to lighten the mood as she pulled away and sunk onto her knees in front of me, pulling me over to face her.

"I didn't want to kiss him."

"I know-"

"Do you? Do you really because I don't want you to resent me for doing it..I-I was trying to protect you."

"Astrid c'mon-"

"No you come on. What happens if he hurts you on Monday and I have to do something more drastic huh? What if I have to kiss him in front of everyone? What if I have to-"

"Hey!" I reached and squeezed her hand. "I won't let him do that to you."

I watched her lip quiver and her eyes follow the path to my bruised side.

"But you can't when you're..hurt."I decided to fight through the pain one more time and try to show her I was strong. I held my breathe and stood up, slowly, taking her hand and pulling her with everything in me. She was now standing next to me and I watched a tear run down her cheek.

"See, it takes more than a punch for me." I pulled her into my arms and rested my chin on her head, as she pressed into my body. She squeezed a little too tight, cashing me to grimace.

"I'm sorry-"I smiled at her.

"I'm fine, but I should be getting you home now. I'm sorry this didn't turn out like it was supposed to."

She put her arms around my waist and helped me walk out of the alley and into the street lights.

"Sometimes having something you care about threatened, makes you realize just how much you really care."

I smiled at her sincerity and kissed her cheek.

"How about we take the bus home, babe?"

She stopped and looked at me with a small smirk creeping the corners of her lips. "Babe huh?"

I felt my cold cheeks heat up a bit. "I-I'm sorry was that okay-"

She answered by kissing me and taking my cold face in her hands and for a moment, I felt better.

She broke away slowly, blushing.

"I like it."

I smiled and took her hands in min, leading her to the bus shelter.

"We'll be home in about a half hour I'm thinkin."

"You know the route?"

"Like the back of my hand."

"Didn't know you took the bus."

"In Toronto, when I was there for the summer-" I saw her face scrunch up a little in confusion but I tried to ignore it.

"We took buses everywhere and I liked it so I started here when I got back."

"We?"

Tasha.

"Me and Aaliyah." I lied.

"Oh," she seemed flustered as the bus pulled down the road and stopped in front of us. "of course."

The doors opened a pond a gust of warm air met us as we struggled up the stairs, dumped the last bit of our change into the fare box and made our way to the back to find some seats.

"Don't ruin it, Mendes," I thought I heard someone say.

Just my head.

We walked past a rugged man sitting in the middle with an old beaten ukelele, as he sat their picking the three remaining strings and humming a tune, as we slouched into the two seats at the very back.

"I don't think I've been on a bus since I was a kid."

Astrid said, leaning on my shoulder.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I don't remember much to be quite honest."

"About the bus?""No, my childhood."

Wish I could say the same.

The bus bumped along the road and carried us back towards the beach, as the big cities lights cast a grey light over Pickering's sky. I watched out the window in silence as the fluorescent lights in the bus made a mirror in my window. As the night passed by in sudden flashes of stop lights and people walking I looked into the "mirror" again. You know what I saw?

Potential happiness in the form of the sleeping girl next to me. And for a moment, the ache went away. The bus trekked along until it reached Astrid's neighbourhood. I shook her gently as it slowed to a stop.

"Hey, it's your stop. I hate to do this but I won't be able to walk to my place so I'm going to ride there, cam you make it to your place alone?"

She woke slowly and nodded. "I'll be fine," she stood and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Shawn. Thank you."

With that she walked down the aisle past the man with the ukelele. Then she was gone. As the bus started up again I watched her walk towards her house, and braced myself for my arrival at home. As the bus made it's turn into my neighbourhood I felt myself wishing that I had gotten off with her.

It wasn't safe.

Or was this my guts way of telling me that what was waiting, or who was waiting for me at home would be a good idea to avoid?

As the bus stopped down my street and I stumbled down the aisle, I felt myself feeling ill. I definitely should have avoided coming home, I thought to myself as my feet touched the sidewalk and my heart left my chest.