Unattainable

Chapter 16 Forgetting

Shawn stopped in front of me as he felt my hand release his.

"Astrid what-"

I could confront him now or forget about it.

I stuffed my hands in the big pokey on the front of the now cold sweater

"They were cold." I lied as I decided I didn't want to be a burden and stir up the afternoon with pointless jabbering about the past: There was no need for that.

"I can keep you warm too it's okay." He said as he stepped behind me and slipped his hands into the pocket with mine too. I felt his fingers struggling to find mine and I couldn't help but giggle.

That's right giggle. This boy made me so nervous I GIGGLED. I'm not a giggles rather a hearty laugher so sounds like a walrus.

"See," he mumbled into my ear, "I like this better. Don't you?" We walked in sync swaying side to side as I craned my neck to look at his big eyes.

How could someone not love him?

I was starting to have some ideas.

I mean no I didn't hate him couldn't but WHY did he let go of me when someone was around. This made me seemingly curious to see how Monday would play out.

"Yes," I finally responded. "I like it better."

He sighed heavily behind me as he kissed my cheek.

How was it that in twenty four hours he felt so comfortable displaying his affection to ME but no one else?

The problem I realized was I was letting him take it quickly but wasn't saying anything. I couldn't bring myself to tell him I was hurt by his actions because maybe he didn't know how to express them at all and his way of showing them was in small installments of kisses on my cheek and hands on mine and arms around my waist.

But I needed to let him know it wasn't acceptable without fully letting go.

"So Daemon."

He slowed. "What about him?"

"Did he hit you last night?"

"Well yeah.." His voice raised slowly. "He shouldn't have don't that."

"No he shouldn't have but why did you do it?"

He was silent for a moment.

"Because it wasn't right."

That's it?

"Oh, okay?"

We continued walking slowly for a moment and the grey sky's and damp sidewalk added to the morose mood that was now clouding my head and I could feel the pressure inside building.

"Actually.." He stopped and I tuned to face him.

"Shawn it's fine..-"

"No it's not." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I hit him and he hit me because I like you and in case you haven't noticed Daemon seems to only like things once I've.."

I watched him search for the words. "Taken an interest in them or in you for that matter and I DONT want to lose you."

So he did care.

"You won't." I reassured him as I slowly took his hand and lifted his chin to allow his eyes to meet mine. I stopped talking and let our eyes search each other's for a moment until his lips spread into the beautiful smile with which I was slowly falling in love with.

"You can't promise that." He grinned teasingly although I could see his genuine concern in his face.

"But I can promise not to forget, and I won't."

Although I would never forget him, I was trying desperately to forget the fact that I could feel HIM forgetting me.