Loki X Reader: Iophilia

-Chapter 8: Sneaky Snek-

Thor and Tony ran out of the lab. They decided it would be best if they kept this between the Avengers. If Fury found it that Loki had escaped, they would be the second one to be executed. Tony explained the situation and the others agreed to help. 

"Lock every door in the facility, no one gets in, no one gets out," Tony told Clint, who nodded and quickly ran toward the control pannels and shut every door from there. "Worst case scenario," Thor began as Tony hastily typed something into the computer. "Loki kidnapped both Y/N and Bruce, and is now holding them hostage," Tony shot a glare at Thor. "Don't defend him. He probably already killed both and disposed of their bodies," He hissed at Thor. 

"He's not that bad-," Tony kept staring at Thor. "Okay, fine," He huffed and folded his arms. "Keep Fury occupied," Tony told Steve without looking up from his computer. "Natasha, keep Maria occupied," Tony looked around himself and fished a pen out of Y/N's pencil case. He wrote down some numbers and stood up. He grabbed Thor's arm and ran toward the monitor sector.

Only one person was there, making Tony believe everyone else had a lunch break. "Excuse me," Tony calmly asked, masking the enormous stress behind a smile. The agent turned around. "O-Oh, howdy Tony," He said in a very thick Southern accent. He sounded surprised. "Yeah, hi. Can we quickly look at some footage, please? It's for a mission," Tony semi-lied. The agent nodded and stepped aside so Tony could take over the control panel. He quickly typed in the numbers he had written down. The security footage from when Tony had left the room up until he came back played. Thor walked up to Tony to look. 

They saw Loki sit still and look around him. Every so often, he tugged at his chains. Then he looked at Y/N and said something. Unfortunately, there was no audio, so they couldn't hear what he had to say. Y/N shook her head. But Loki kept talking and kept insisting on something. Then Loki directly looked into the lens of the security camera. 

It was as if he knew that Tony and Thor were going to watch the footage minutes after he had disappeared.

Suddenly the camera was being blocked by a hand. Tony and Thor waited anxiously until the hand was removed. Only Loki's face was on display, he smiled and turned the camera away from where Y/N, Bruce and himself originally sat. "Son of a b*tch," Tony mumbled. "I would be careful of who you're calling a b*tch, Stark," Thor hissed. "Sorry," Tony mumbled, realizing his mistake. The next thing they saw was them vigorously searching through the lab.

Tony turned closed the footage and turned around. "By the way," The agent said before Thor and Tony left. "I saw you," He said as he pointed at Tony. "Walk out with Y/N and Bruce a minute ago. How'd you get back so quickly?" He asked a bit surprised. Tony's eyes widened. 

"F*cker," He almost yelled as he ran toward the nearest exit of the building with Thor on his heels. The door was locked, obviously. Tony took a few good seconds to just work all his anger out on the door. He kicked, he screamed, he yelled at Thor because his adopted brother was a b*tch and then he finally calmed down. 

Tony grabbed his phone and quickly phoned Clint. It took a moment for Clint to pick up. That moment was filled with Tony looking at Thor and Thor smiling at Tony, scared to piss him off again. When Clint picked up, Tony barked: "Open the door on the East wing, second floor," Clint huffed. "You told me to close all the doors and when I finally do what you ask me to do, you want me to undo-"

"CLINT, MOTHERF*CKER, LISTEN TO ME!" Tony yelled which made Thor take a few safety steps backward. "Open the door or I will come up there and crack open your skull," He threatened. "Aye, aye, captain," Clint sarcastically said before the door slowly opened. "Thank you, Clint," Tony hissed before hanging up. "Let's go, they couldn't have gone far,"

As they ran down the street, they saw more and more confused people. Tony got the hint and walked up to one of the confused pedestrians. "Did you see me walk around a minute ago?" He asked the lady who he had stopped. "No, I saw Thor walk around with a girl and a guy," She said and pointed at Thor. Thor and Tony made eye contact. "I think I would be more discreet?" Thor shrugged. Tony rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the lady. 

"Okay, can you tell me where they headed?" Tony asked. "They headed inside the Burger King," The lady said, pointing toward the mildly crowded Burger King. "Of course, Loki would want to go to conquer his kingdom in small parts. A Burger King sounds royal enough to start," Thor chuckled. "Thor, don't say the L-word." Tony barked quietly. "You mean 'Loki'?" Tony aggressively shushed Thor. 

"To the Burger King," Tony said and forced his way through the crowd. Thor excused Tony to all the people he pushed aside until they finally made it to the Burger King. To their surprise, they saw Y/N, Bruce and Loki (who was disguised as Thor) eating burgers. Thor frowned and stood still. Tony rushed toward the group. He slammed his hand on the table and looked Loki in the eyes. "We've got you now, god of mistakes," 

Loki shrugged. "Yeah, you got me," Tony frowned as Thor approached the table. Both of them immediately looked at Bruce for an answer. "Y/N and I were hungry, so we went to get some burgers," Bruce explained with a full mouth. "Do you even know how dangerous this is?" Tony hissed at him. "Yeah, but I've still got the remote," Bruce reminded as he dangled the remote for Loki's shock collar between his fingers. Tony was left to stutter insults and questions at the group of eating people. Thor looked at Loki who was struggling to even take a bite from his burger.

"This Midgardian food is truly disgusting. They would feed pigs the same crap. The sad thing is, you would still eat the pigs if they were fed on a strict diet of cheeseburgers. I think you Midgardians would even prefer it," Loki raised his nose at the burger.

"Welcome to America," Y/N shrugged before taking another bite of her burger. Tony slapped the burger out of her hands. "Okay, rude," Y/N said unphased. "That's pretty rude, dude," Bruce agreed. "I have attacked this city, killed millions and I don't even like this food. But that was simply uncivil," Loki agreed. 

"Back to headquarters, now!"