Irondad and Spiderson One-Shots (Requests Open!)

Random One Shots

Peter: *Walks into the common room to sit next to Tony* Hi Mr. Stark! I have a story to tell you!

Tony:  *Slightly concerned* Yeah Pete?

Peter: Okay so I was walking to the tower and some guy just pulled me into a random alleyway and held up and gun and yelled 'give me your money' do you wanna know what I did?

Tony: *Even more concerned* ...yeah?

Peter: I looked him dead in the eye and said 'bold of you to assume I have any money or want to live' and he just ran away.

Tony: Peter are you okay?

Peter: No.

Tony: *Already on the phone* Hi, I need an appointment with your best therapist for Peter Parker tomorrow at 3 pm.

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Peter: *Walks into the common room ignoring the Avengers and falls face-first onto the couch* I wanna kill myself!

Tony: *Reading a book with no emotion showing* I will meet you at the top of the tower at 5.

Pepper: *Walking into the room on a StarkPad not showing emotion* I will join you both.

The rest of the Avengers: *Slightly concerned for their family members*

Bruce and Rhodey: *Walk into the room* (Is that how you spell Rhodey's name?)

Bruce: Don't worry they do that all the time.

The rest of the Avengers: *Still concerned*

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Tony: *Walks into room* Hey Pete can you clean your room?

Peter: *Without noticing* Okay, dad.

The Avengers except Nat: *shook*

Nat: I fucking new it!

Steve: *Too shook to say 'Language'*

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Ned: *After Peter tells him about infinity war* Wow Thanos really yeeted a moon at all of you. Such a Queen!

Peter: I know right!

Tony: Wtf!?

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Tony: *Just waking up* I am dead inside.

Peter: *Getting ready for school*: I am ready to yeet myself out of the window and not catch myself.

Nat: *Concerned* Don't do that...

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Thor: So all I have to do is say yeet when I throw my hammer?

Shuri and Peter: Yep

Thor: *Throws hammer* YEET

Shuri and Peter: *On the the floor wheezing*

Tony and T'Challa: *Looking through the huge hole in the wall* PETER/SHURI.

Shuri and Peter: RUN!

Tony and T'Challa: *Running after them*

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Peter: *Standing in front of a room full of Avengers* Look at all those chickens!

Shuri: *Laughing on the floor*

The Avengers: *Confused*

Peter: *Finds a random empty water bottle* This Bitch empty, YEET!

The Avengers: *Still confused*

Shuri: *Still laughing but off the floor* Hey Peter, how you take down Captain America?

Peter: *In a horrible accent* You shoot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot. (If I got that wrong I am sorry)

The Avengers accept Steve: *Laughing*

Steve: I hate all of you.

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Peter: Hey dad?

Tony: Yeah?

Peter: Even though I look like a burnt chicken nugget I still love my self.

Tony: Peter, you can't even tan how the hell are you suppose to look like a burnt chicken nugget?

Peter: You just ruined my joke, dad.

Tony: I know.

Peter: *Walks away to find Shuri* Party pooper.

Tony: I heard that!

Peter: That's the point!

Tony: *Tearing up* He really is my son.

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Peter: *Walks into the kitchen*

The Avengers: *Trying to not laugh*

Peter: *Tries to get the Nutella but can't because of Thor's hammer*

The Avengers except for Nat: *Laughing*

Peter: *Picks up the hammer and uses the Nutella*

Tony: Did you see that!? That is my son right there, my son is worthy!

Peter: *Still doesn't notice and eats his Nutella toast*

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Tony: *On the couch with the rest of the Avengers* Hey Pete can you come here!

Peter: *Runs into the room* You called?

Tony: Yeah, want some gum?

Peter: *Takes gum* Sure

Tony: *Waits for Peter's reaction*

Peter: *spits out gum* It burns! What the hell!? Is that peppermint!?

Tony: *Laughing* Yeah.

Peter: Holy shit that burns!

The Avengers except Nat: *shook*

Nat: *Gets up to help Peter* You guys are di*ks

The Avengers: *Still shook*

Steve: Where did Peter learn that type of language!?

Everyone: *Looks at Tony*

Tony: It was one time!

Friday: I can confirm that it was multiple times.

Tony: Friday!

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