Irondad and Spiderson One-Shots (Requests Open!)

When The Pain Won't Go Away

WARNING: This story is really sad. Honestly, I didn't think I was going to post it but here we are. This story includes a description of suicide, so if you get triggered by it please don't read this One-Shot. I just needed to vent and the only way I can do that is by writing, not that that's important.

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Peter felt like giving up. He was just so tired. Every day it just got harder for him to be happy. It seemed so far away. He just wanted somebody to notice. He just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs and let all the pain out. He wasn't okay. He didn't think he would ever be. He couldn't remember a time when he felt normal and when he didn't have that voice in his head telling him every single thing he did wrong. He tries to put on a smile and most of the time for one single second he believes that he is happy and he isn't broken. But the voice in his head will always remind him that he is in fact broken. Maybe even he can't be fixed. And will forever be the broken boy that no one pays attention to. That boy in the background. He sees the baby photo's that his Aunt keeps and questions where did that carefree and happy boy go? When did his real smile fade away and a fake smile replace it? But he feels pain.  

He hears the voice in his head nagging at every little thing. 

He feels the emptiness in his heart. 

He feels the tears fall when he cries. 

He sees himself in the mirror and hates what he sees. 

He feels the panic attacks when he is alone. 

He sees the fake smile he tries so hard to make believable. 

He knows how pathetic he is. 

Maybe this will be his life. 

Maybe this is all Peter will feel.

Maybe he will never be happy. 

But is it a life worth living if you're always in pain and you have no one to go to?  

No, it isn't.

The truth is he wants to be happy. 

He doesn't want to feel pain. 

He doesn't want the tears to fall. 

He doesn't want to hate himself. 

He doesn't want the panic attacks. 

He wants a real smile. 

He doesn't want to feel pathetic. 

But maybe happiness just isn't for him. 

They say you must go through pain before you can be truly happy. 

He is starting to believe that he will never be happy. 

And he will die unhappy. 

And nobody will notice.

Because all they see is a happy and carefree boy. 

What they don't see is a boy that wears long sleeves to hide the scars on his wrists. 

Peter was done with being unhappy. 

As the bathtub ran water Peter stepped in with his clothes on, not caring. He slit his wrists and took a bunch of pills, to make sure his fast healing won't kick in. And smiled. Not a fake smile. A real one. Because if he was gone the pain would be gone. His eyes began to feel heavy and he closed his eyes. His smile faded as his body fell limp. 

His father found him. Tony cried and cried. Peter had left a note that Tony read before he found Peter. He didn't know the pain that Peter felt but he promised himself that Morgan will never feel that pain. 

Peter was a hero. 

But in some stories hero's don't win the war. 

Because Peter didn't win his. 

New York lost its hero. 

MJ and Ned lost their best friend. 

The Avengers lost their Nephew.

May lost her Nephew.

Morgan lost her brother. 

Pepper lost her son. 

Tony lost his son. 

 And Peter lost himself.