Dark Secrets (Sherlock x Reader)

Forgive Me

You shook your head, tears brimming your eyes. ''No, this- this isn't happening... this -''

Sherlock took a step towards you, reaching out his hand. ''(Y/N),'' he tried again.

''No, no, you don't get to do this! You don't- you don't -'' Words were failing you as you felt yourself start to panic. You felt as though you were drowning, so in a quick motion, you pushed past Sherlock and ran outside.

You were on your socks and didn't have a coat on, but you didn't care. The puddles on the street soaked your feet, but you didn't notice. You just kept running.

Millions of thoughts were making your head spin.

He was alive. How could he be alive?

You saw him fall. You saw how he hit the pavement. He was dead.

But he was behind you, running after you and calling your name.

You held onto a streetlight as you panted. You were completely out of breath and in shock.

One tear after the other fell from your face as you began to sob. You slid down the pole onto the wet ground and cried with your arms covering your head.

Sherlock finally caught up with you. ''I'm sorry,'' he breathed. ''I never meant for it to go this way. I'm sorry, (Y/N).''

''How could you do this to me?'' you yelled, looking up at him. You choked on your sobs. ''How could you do this to your friends? To your family?''

He kneeled down in front of you. He had tears in his eyes. ''I had no choice. I had to do it.''

''Why? Was it Moriarty? Did he make you do it? How? I need answers, I need you to tell me everything.''

''I will. I'll tell you everything you want to know, but not right now. You're in shock. Let me take you home.''

You rapidly shook your head. ''No, you don't get to do anything! You made me believe you were dead for two years! What kind of person does that? You- you -''

''And what about you?'' he bellowed. ''You went to that pool by yourself, knowing damn well what the outcome would be. You were gone for three months! I didn't know whether you were dead or alive! I didn't know where you were or what had happened.''

''I had no choice!'' you screamed at him. ''I did what I did because it was the only way I could protect you! I needed a shot at killing Moriarty so I could keep you safe! I didn't have a choice!''

''Nor did I!'' He was breathing heavily. Closing his eyes briefly, he calmed himself down. ''(Y/N), I know what I did was wrong, but I did it to protect you. I was lost without you and I needed to get you away from Moriarty. This was the only way to do so.''

''You could've told me! You didn't have to stay dead for two years without telling me. You should've told me,'' you cried.

He shuffled closer to you and placed his gloved hand on your cheek.

You turned your head away.

He sighed. ''I had to destroy his network. Moriarty was dead, but his people weren't and they'd kill you if they knew I was still alive. I came back to you as soon as I could.''

You were sobbing quietly into your sleeves. ''I missed you so much.''

''I know. I missed you, too.'' He got even closer to you and put his hands on yours. ''Let me take you home. You're freezing.''

You shook your head. ''Leave me alone.''

''(Y/N), please.''

''No, I need you to leave me alone! I can't- I can't look at you right now.''

He looked down and sighed. ''Alright. I'll stay with Mycroft for now, you can stay in the flat. You know where to find me.''

''Go away,'' you wept.

He stood up and walked away, the tapping of his shoes against the pavement echoing through the night before they were out of your reach.

You got up and went back home. You were shivering, your teeth chattering, but your mind was only focussed on one thing.

Two years of grieving. Two years of pain and suffering all for nothing.

Sherlock had been alive the entire time but not once had he reached out to you.

You shook your head as more tears dripped from your face.

How could he have done this to you?

~

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and sore eyes. You slowly got up from your position on the sofa and wandered to the kitchen to get a glass of water for your dry throat.

The events from the previous night came rushing back to you. You closed your eyes, steadying yourself against the kitchen counter.

You felt the anger, sadness and pain you had felt for two years. You felt the guilt you hadn't been able to let go of, thinking his death was your fault. But he wasn't dead, not anymore.

You sat down in his chair, your hands stroking the leather. Instantly, you felt tears stinging your eyes.

You had missed him. You missed him every day. Not a day went by that you didn't think of him. Each night before bed, you'd look at the stars and wish for him to come home. It seemed foolish at the time, but it brought you comfort.

You wrapped his robe tighter around yourself and looked at your phone which was still on the side table where you had left it the night before.

You wanted to hear his voice. You wanted to see him. Although you didn't know if you could handle it again. It was painful to see him, painful to remember everything you had lost.

The phone buzzed and you swiftly picked it up, seeing you had received multiple texts from John and Greg, none from Sherlock.

Had it been a dream?

You opened John's texts and scrolled through them.

It wasn't a dream.

John had been texting you the night before, telling you what had happened. It seemed he was just as upset and angry as you were, though you didn't feel so angry anymore.

You felt sad. You felt alone. You felt all the feelings you had for Sherlock.

It was too much to bear, so you clicked on his contact and sent him a text, hoping his phone number would still work and deliver him the message.

~

For my birthday today, I thought I'd finally let our favourite detective return from the dead!

Thank you for reading, everyone <3