Resilience | Sweet Pea.

47 - Emotional thoughts.

"Are you ready, guys?" Jughead says, pointing a camera at Sweet pea and I. We stand, and I am staring at our backs, almost like an out of body experience. I circle around them, and see a sweet little girl stood in a lavender coloured dress, with black curls, a round face and grey eyes, I know exactly who this child is. The perfect mix of my love and I.

As Jughead snaps the photo, he hands me a polaroid. To my surprise, both Sweet pea and the little girl are rapidly fading from the photo. I look up toward Jughead, but he's gone, as is Sweet pea, as is the little girl, I am alone. I look down at the polaroid, and I stand alone in it, before the entire thing falls through my fingers like sand.

The next morning, after an evening of uncontrollable tears, I wake up on Sids chest, my nightmare pulling me from my sleep, with Roman sprawled out across the end of my bed. I sniffle as my heart warms at the sight of them both, they refused to leave me alone after my stressful discovery.

I nudge Sid a little, hoping to wake him, he stirs and looks confused of his surroundings for a moment, before giving me a small smile.

"How you feeling, love?" Sid asks softly.

"I'm not sure, I feel odd." I reply as Roman lets out a soft snore.

"Look at sleeping beauty." Sid chuckles. "Dare me to kick him?"

"No, leave him-"

I'm cut off by Sid giving his brother a shove with his foot, rudely awakening Roman and he falls off my bed.

"What the fuck, dude?!" Roman grumbles, getting off the floor as Sid snickers. "You've got problems."

"You are my problem!" Sid laughs as Roman shakes his head, sitting back down on the bed.

"How're you feeling, Alex?" Roman asks, ignoring his brothers remark.

"I'm- I don't know." I say, wanting to keep a strong demeaner. "I'm fine."

"It's okay not to be, Alex." Sid says, putting an arm around me as the urge to cry into his chest bubbles in my throat. At this point, I'm not even sure why, whether it's fear driven, hormone driven, or sadness driven.

"I'm sorry for putting this on you guys." I say

"Don't apologise. We're your friends. Friends support each other." Roman says.

"Okay, so, how did this happen? The only people you know here are me and Rome, unless you two are secretly in love." Sid asks. "Or just banging."

"Sid." Roman grunts at him. "Not the time for jokes."

"It's fine." I mutter with an added sniffle.

I know for a fact it's Sweet pea's and I can't even tell him. My heart aches, I wish I could tell him, or ask Betty or Jughead or even Fred or Archie what to do.

"It's gotta be my exes." I sigh, my heart hurting even more calling Sweet pea an ex.

"Are you sure?" Sid asks, a small, mischievous grin growing on his face, I punch him in the arm.

"You're an asshole." I laugh half-heartedly. "But I'm sure, he's the only person I've ever had sex with. But we've always been safe, well, 9/10... But it doesn't matter now."

"You never thought to go onto birth control?" Sid asks.

"No. Well, yeah. But... I dunno." I sigh, being a stupid 17-year-old, I never gave it too much thought.

"Well it's a bit late to be lecturing her about birth control, isn't it?" Roman asks. "Alex, what do you want to do? Do you want to keep it?"

"What?" I ask, not even comprehending the fact that I'm going to have to make those choices. "Yeah. I want to keep it."