Resilience | Sweet Pea.

71 - Smart and Cautious

Sweet pea and I lay in the grass, looking up at the stars as we cuddle together.

"You know, we never did end up researching stars or anything." I remind him.

"There's just never been time." Sweet pea hums, rubbing my back.

"Maybe we should start making time." I admit.

"What do you mean?" Pea asks, nudging me so I'll sit up, which I do.

"Wouldn't it be nice to just be normal for a while?" I ask. "No murderers, stalkers, gangs, drug labs, even babies and secret brothers?"

"It would, but this is Riverdale, Nov." Sweet pea reminds me.

"Yeah." I hum.

"Nov?" He asks.

"Yeah?" I reply.

"When you're ready... I'd really like to talk about it." He says, referring to the baby, and everything that happens. I swallow harshly.

"We can talk about it." I say hesitantly. "No more secrets, no more lies."

"Are you sure?" He asks, I nod.

"What do you want to know?" I reply.

"Just... What happened?" He asks.

"I'd been sick for a while, and one night I just got the urge to take a test, so I did. The twins were over for dinner, and I found out... And I was really scared. I couldn't tell the twins anything about what happened before I moved." I admit.

"I don't really know what to ask, honestly." Sweet pea tells me

"I was scared, and alone. I didn't know if I would be returning to Riverdale pregnant, or with your baby and you'd have no idea." I say. "I had the twins, but I wish I could've been with you, Jug, Fred, Archie, Betty, hell even Ronnie. I... I didn't know what to do."

"And... When it happened?" He asks hesitantly.

"I was at the twins. I hadn't told Agent McCall, and I knew he was coming to see me. I was scared he'd make me get rid of it, or re-locate me, I was already alone and I was terrified I'd be taken from the twins. I had a panic attack, and there was bleeding, I couldn't think... Sid rushed me to the hospital, but they couldn't do anything. One moment I was pregnant, and then... I just wasn't." I admit.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I wish I'd been there." He sighs.

"I- It feels like my fault." I admit. "I know it's not... But maybe if I'd taken better care of myself after I left-"

"No, babe." Sweet pea says, putting a hand against my cheek. "It wasn't your fault. It'll never be your fault."

A tear rolls down my cheek, he sweeps it away with his thumb.

"I wish I'd told you." I say softly. "I was just hurting so much... I didn't want you to have to hurt too."

"Hurt is inevitable, Nova. I'm sad, yeah. We were gonna have a baby... But we have all the time in the world. We're 17, and bad things happen to us. We don't deserve it, but it's going to be okay." He hums.

"I love you." I tell him, he kisses me gently.

"I love you too." He says.

He pulls me back into his arms, hugging me tightly.

"I think..." I begin softly. "If I hadn't... Lost it, we would've had a girl. I just had a feeling."

"Did you?" He asks, I nod. "I don't know about you, but Violet comes to mind."