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7

Roman walked through the door subconsciously holding back the gag as his stomach churned from the scent and nerves. He followed slowly behind Kai slowly, mind lost to his thoughts as he absentmindedly drummed against his leg. As they sat into a booth he forced out a shaky breath trying to relax but it didn't really work. All it did was serve to concern his friend who glanced over at him with this question in his eyes.

As time passed they ordered and got their food. Roman asking for something small due to his nerves being real bad. He just sat there pushing it about the plate picking at it slowly. His mind was on the clock... and his phone. It's been hours since Patton texted him and he was concerned. 

“Hey Romano, it's going to be ok.” Roman sighed as he looked up to see his friend smiling over at him. “There are plenty of jobs and...”

“I'm not worried that, Kai, but I appreciate the attempt.” Roman smiled softly trying to lighten the mood but nerves were still plenty obvious. “I... uh... never mind.”

“Roman, what's going on?” Roman pulled out his phone again and frown seeing the last text Patton sent and flipped it to Anx's before sending it over to Kai as he picked at his food. He was feeling more nauseous than hungry.

“Who's this... Anx... Anxiety person?” Roman frowned as he watched his friend scroll up to the beginning. “Wait... you don't know?” Kai shot him this look and Roman just shook his head. “I would have thought with everything you went through last year you wouldn't have even...”

“I know... and I did think about it but... what if it was someone I knew... I didn't want to be a dick plus after talking... I don't know.” Kai was still reading narrowing his eyes a bit as he continued. Roman just wanted to know if Anx was ok, not that Kai would have an answer for that. Kai finally set the phone down with a frown and Roman felt his heart sink. “Now read today's messages from Patton.”

“What why?” 

“Just do it.” Kai nodded, his eyes going wide as he did considering Anx is the only one that calls Roman Princey. It was clear from the very first text Anx had sent him from that phone that it was him. Within moments Kai had let out a shaky breath making the actor shake a bit in guilty nervousness. “No wonder you're uneasy.”

“You don't think... I sent him into an anxiety or a panic attack, do you?” Roman didn't look up from his plate. He didn't have to, the silence was enough of an answer for him. “Shit...”

“Hey now, don't beat yourself up, Roman. It's not like you knew about his anxiety or even that radio silence would send him spiraling.” Roman let out a broken laugh as he shook his head. “Roman, come on...”

“I still purposefully ignore his texts or... at least the first few. If I knew he was spamming I would have looked because that's what I do but... I didn't. All because of a stupid broken phone.”

“I'm sure that wasn't what it was...” Roman groaned in frustrated guilt as he laid his head in his hands.

“He broke his phone and than used Patton's to text me to let me know because once again I was an anxious insecure mess. But then my insecurity got worse because I realized that the friend he mention the very first day we started texting was the same as mine and that ment I could have been wrong about Jones being our mutual that he spoke of.” Roman looked up through his bangs as Kai took a sip of his coffee wincing slightly at the heat but refusing to stop drinking it. “I started to panic and... I ignored him out of stupid fear.”

“It's not stupid Roman. You went through a lot last year. You're obviously going to have some anxiety over it.” Roman sighed as he let an arm drop in exhaustion. 

“Stop trying to make me feel better...” A short and soft laugh came out of Kai as he pointed his fork over at Roman.

“If your that guilty over it than make it up to him somehow?” Roman narrowed his eyes in confusion as Kai continued to eat. How was he supposed to do that? He doesn't even know if Anx even wants to talk to him still. “Dude, I know that face. Why don't you pay for a new phone? Seeing as how you seem to think that's what started all this.”

“Yeah... I don't think Anx is the kind of person who would exept that plus I don't even know the guy. How would I even get it to him?” Roman looked over to see Kai point his phone at him and he narrowed his eyes in confusion until... He saw that there was a notification. He jumped up taking his phone and running out the place only to sit on a bench outside. He didn't care that it was cold or that it was rainning. He just hugged his coat tight around him as he stared down at the screen.

POPstar: Hey... Princey
POPstar: So... I'm guessing I should probably explain what happened?
POPstar: I just uh... I don't even know if your there.
Prince: I'm here *Read*

Roman tensed slightly as he waited for another text. He was worried he was going to get yelled at or told to fuck off but right now he was more worried about Anx.

POPstar: Oh... That's good then. I take it that you're good then?
Prince: That depends...
POPstar: ???
Prince: ...on if you are.
POPstar: I'm... better. Sorry if I worried you. Patton kind of fell asleep as he was conforting me so that's why he didn't text you back... I didn't realize he was told you what happened.
Prince: All he said was he had to help you with an attack.
POPstar: Yeah... I had a bit of an anxiety attack. But I am good now, seriously... Just a bit...
POPstar: tired
POPstar: You sure you're ok?
Prince: …
Prince: I feel like shit.
Prince: Guilt's a bitch.
POPstar: Hey, don't feel guilty. I probably would have had an attack sooner or later it... isn't the first time with you either.
Prince: What do you mean?
POPstar: When I go quiet for absolutely no reason... it's usually because of my anxiety.
POPstar: But like I said you don't have to feel bad.
POPstar: It's just something I deal with.
Prince:sorry
POPstar: Princey, I just said you didn't have to feel guilty. Don't apologize.
Prince: I ignored your texts.*Read*

POPstar: oh. I see...
Prince: Anx?
POPstar: It's fine Princey. You must have had your reasons.
Prince: Anx really I am sorry.
POPstar: Princey it's fine. You don't have to talk to. I just wish you would have told me you didn't want to.
Prince: It isn't like that I swear!
POPstar: I'm sorry for wasting your time. I won't bother you again. *Read*

Prince: Anx seriously that isn't what was happening.
Prince: Please talk to me.
Prince: I'm sorry.
Prince: I was scared.
Prince: I'm sorry, Anx. Please?!
Prince: Anx?
Prince: anx are you really not going to respond
Prince: is that it
Prince: im sorry
Prince: anx i hope youll come back
Prince: i really do like talking to you
Prince: ill even share something about myself like you did
Prince: no?
Prince: ok then
Prince: sorry again anx

Roman didn't even flinch when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He just sat there staring at his screen as the ran fell with a steady rhythm, mixing in with the salty drops the dripped down his cheeks onto his phone as the guilt tore through him. He just lost a possible real friend because of his fear that he was being used again. All because he couldn't just talk about it... Roman sighed through a broken sob as he looked up to see Kai giving him a soft smile.

“Come on bud. Let's get you home.”