Sparks [Completed]

[He Doesn't Have The Best Ways ]

I love you so much. I hope you know that. But this distance isn't good for you. I know how much you're suffering, and I don't want that.

So, Jordan, my darling...until we can be together again, you are free to date whomever you wish. And if you fall in love with someone else, so be it.

I just want you to be happy. I love you, Jordan.

Jasper.

These are the words I have been turning over my head for two days now. Around and around, again and again. Each time, my heart gets a little more crushed inside my chest.

I came home from the reserve to this message. My happy glow was obliterated immediately, and has not returned.

I haven't moved from my room at all. My stomach is aching with hunger, but I can't bring myself to leave my perch on my bed.

The record on my desk seems to draw me in, bringing more pain to my chest as my eyes burn.

Charlie has attempted to talk to me, but my door has remained locked since I got home.

The first night, I sat and cried into my pillow. The pain came from inside in waves, shattering the rocks that I so carefully built.

The second night, I laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling utterly empty.

Now, I'm still staring, but sitting up. I know Jasper means the best, he feels bad for leaving me here. But I don't want to break up with him.

He's the best thing that's happened to me. And he understands me like no other. He's forgiven me for things I still haven't.

Now, he isn't mine. I know he was never technically mine, but the ability to call him my boyfriend gave me a rush of happiness.

A bird comes to sit on my windowsill, chirping gently. I raise my gaze to it and watch with a hollow heart as it jumps around.

It's feathers are a lovely, deep, warm red. The tweets are sweet and kind, as birds have no ability to be mean or nasty.

I blink a few times, and straighten up. My breathing comes easier, and a rush of guilt hits me.

I've been moping and refusing to eat. Charlie must be ridiculously worried. It takes me a minute to absorb how selfish I have been.

The bird flies away, and I get out of my bed. For a moment, my legs shake, then I steady and unlock my door.

My steps down the stairs are slow, but I get to the bottom. Charlie and Bella look up from their position on the couch with cautious eyes.

"Jordan," Charlie says, sitting up and frowning.

"Hey, dad." My voice is gravelly, even to my own ears, as I smile weakly at them.

It springs to mind, looking at their concerned expressions, that I haven't washed my face or brushed my hair. All the evidence of my breakdown must be on full view.

I turn my head and walk into the kitchen, in search of something to stop the ache in my stomach.

After a minute or two, I have a triple decker sandwhich dripping with mayonnaise. I decide to eat it in the kitchen.

Bella and Charlie join me half way into it, and sit in front of me. I take a minute before making eye contact.

When I do, I put the sandwich down and flick my eyes around trying to come up with something to say.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Bella asks with an eyebrow raised. "Locking yourself in your room without speaking to us, or not eating for two days?"

I lower my eyes, poking at the bread left on my plate. "Both..."

"The not speaking is fine, but the not eating is definitely not. If you do that one more time, I'll take the lock off you're door," Charlie says.

I nod rapidly. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It was an accident. I didn't realise."

There's a moment of silence, then.

"What happened?" He asks.

My breath catches in my throat and I choke a bit. Tears spring to my eyes, but I fight them away.

"Jasper...he broke up with me. He doesn't want to tie me down when he's so far away..." My voice cracks and I am suddenly not hungry.

Charlie sighs. "That boy means well...but he doesn't have the best ways."

I choke out a laugh. "Yeah..."

Charlie shakes his head, then goes to answer the phone. I avoid looking at Bella, and force myself to eat the rest of my sandwich.

Once I've finished, Bella clears her throat. A flutter of panic hits my stomach that almost brings that sandwhich back up.

The last thing I want is for my little sister to hate me because I didn't tell her about this. I only did it so that she wouldn't be in more pain. Hurting her is the last thing I could ever do.

But she smiles softly at me, as if she can hear my tirade of thoughts.

"I knew, Jordan."

Relief floods me, but it doesn't kill the deep feeling of guilt. "I should've told you."

"No, you shouldn't have. At the time, it would only have made me worse. But I figured it out," she says calmly, with a shrug and a pained look in her eye.

"How?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Because you love Jasper just as much as I love-" she cuts off, wincing.

I nod quickly. "Makes sense. I guess you knew how I would react if he actually broke it off with me."

She inclines her head. "You should call your friends from the reservation. They've been worried about you."

With that, Bella gets up and starts climbing the stairs; leaving me in the kitchen to wonder why the hell they'd be worried about me.

The guys have known me for all of a day and a half. Why on earth would they bother checking on me?

But it's been a few days since I left the house. Visiting them can't hurt.

It'll be nice to see Adrian again...