Something You Fight For

Episode: 21

Clarke's finger pressed against the calendar on her wall.

Today was the day.

The day Bellamy left to go back to college. He would be packing his things and loading them into his car tonight in order to make it back to his campus by morning and milk out every moment he could spend with his sister as possible.
Clarke sat by almost the entire day, watching the clock and trying to muster up the courage to go see him. But how would he react?
Before she could make up her mind it was already too late.

She made her way out, convincing Raven to borrow her moms car whilst they slept, unbeknownst to what the girls were up to and drive her to Finn and Bellamy's but by time they arrived Bellamy and his car were already gone.
Teary eyed, Clarke walked up the few steps to his house and knocked on the door.

Finn answered, it was dark but he could see the look of pain on Clarke's face through the dim hall light.

"He left without saying goodbye?" Clarke croaked, her tears balling up and locking in her throat as Finn hesitantly pulled her into a hug.

"Not.. not exactly." He sighed, pulling away and looking to her. "Clarke, before I do this. I need you to know that, that my feelings for you are real, and I know you care about me too.. but,. But not as much as you care about Bellamy." His eyes rolled. "I know we've been through so much together and I'll always wish we had a shot but, you love him and.. I honestly think I still love Raven. I shouldn't have kissed you and said what I said.. it was wrong, I hope you can forgive me.."

Clarke, surprised but still emotionally trembling, she nodded. Forgiving Finn wasn't hard, losing what they'd built over the years would be. Finn sighed, stepping behind the door and pulling out a small envelope with Clarke's name sprawled across the centre.

"He.. had some regrets." Finn shrugged, "but under all that confidence, he was really scared of losing you.."
Clarke wiped away a tear with her wrist, hesitantly taking the note as she pulled herself together.

She thanked Finn, walking back to the car and sitting in the passengers seat beside Raven.
"What's that.?" She asked, Clarke's eyes momentarily turning away from the envelope she cradled.

"It's from Bellamy.." Clarke murmured, her eyes drifting back to the note.

"Well? Open it!" Raven urged, hoping for this note to leave Clarke some peace of mind.

Clarke's hands lifted to the rim of the envelope, her body pausing as she took a deep breath, preparing herself mentally for whatever it could be inside.
She tore cross the corner, her finger slipping inside and dragging down the top of the envelope, opening it.
Clarke reaches inside, pulling out a neatly folded piece of paper.
"It's a note?" Ravens brow furrowed, expecting little less.
Clarke unfolded it, showing the page full of neat semi-handwriting.

'Clarke.' It began, 'I know it's been awhile and you haven't heard from me, I just didn't want to be in the way.
You've been so distant, closed off around me these past few weeks leading up to what we went through the last time I saw you.. it felt like i finally knew why. It sounds childish of me but, if you're not happy with me then I don't want to hold you back from being with whoever you want!
I wanted to say this to you in person but.. I don't think I can handle it.

I just want you to be happy, it's all.. all I've ever wanted for you.
I love you, Clarke Griffin, and if by some chance if I see you by next summer and you want me back, I'll wait for you.

Signed, Bellamy.'

"I don't know how to contact him now.." Clarke huffed, "I won't see him til next year!"
Ravens brow furrowed as she turned to her friend.

"Calm down, well work this out.."

"No, this is all my fault! My stupid fault!"

"Clarke, stop!" Raven shouted. "This isn't your fault! It's just.. unlucky."

"Unlucky! Raven, you more than anyone know what I've been through these last three months, it's not unlucky I was just- I was so stupid and childish!"

"Clarke.."

"No." She cut Raven off. "I need to grow up, if not for me then for this damn baby"