One-Shots | Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers (and actors)

I did love you, once [b.b.]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Prompt: "I did love you, once." (via me)
Warning: Sad, angst (?)

It wasn't working. In truth it hadn't been for a while. Over the years, the attraction had faded, the love diminished, you no longer felt that you would die for him. Something that used to be the forefront of your relationship. However, you couldn't bring yourself to end it. Despite not really loving him anymore, you did care for him.

As your feet carried you to the small café just outside of town, a place you and your boyfriend frequented quite often, your heart felt heavy. How exactly does one tell their boyfriend that they have fallen out of love with them?

"Hey babe!" Jake says upon seeing you. His smile drops when he sees your face. "What's wrong?"

You sigh, dreading the conversation to come. "I can't do this." You mumble. To him or to yourself and about what you aren't sure. The almost puppy like happiness on his face when he saw you was enough to second guess yourself. No. You have to do this.

"Babe?" He asks, sitting back down.

"I – I want to break up." You finally manage to choke out, tears filling your eyes.

He doesn't say anything for a while. Jake just sits and stares at you. "Why?" He asks.

You don't respond at first, not completely sure how to explain it. "I don't love you like I did. Not anymore."

He nods, not really saying anything. "Is it another guy?" His voice sad, resigned, something you dreaded.

"Partly." You answer honestly. It wasn't working between you and Jake before you started your internship with the Avengers, but after developing a friendship with Bucky, it changed. The friendly glances turned into ones filled with longing, the brief hugs in the morning got longer, the space between you slowly stopped being empty and started becoming more electric. Neither you acted on it, or even said anything. But it was enough.

"I didn't, I didn't mean to fall out of love with you. I didn't even know it was happening until it was too late." You attempt to explain. He holds up a hand, halting your words.

"Did you ever really love me? Do you still? At all?" He asks, shoulders slumped.

You shake your head. "I did love you, once." You pause. "I still care about you. I do. I just – it isn't like I should."

He only nods. "I'm sorry if it was something I did." He mumbles.

"No!" You yell, catching the attention of a few other patrons. "It was nothing you did. I guess, I guess it was me. I began to see you more as my friend than my lover. My boyfriend." You admit.

"I hope it works out. For you I mean." Jake comments, already gathering his things. You nod this time.

"Me too." You mutter. "Jake?" You ask as he gets up from the table.

"Yeah?"

"I hope everything works out for you too." You smile at him, knowing it doesn't reach your eyes, tears spilling over onto your cheeks.

He doesn't say anything, he just nods before leaving. You sit there, alone, silently crying for what could have been and what wasn't. You don't know how long you sit there before a waitress comes over and informs you that you need to leave or buy something. Nodding, you slowly grab your purse and begin the walk back to your apartment.

A few feet from your door stands Bucky, hands in his pocket. You smile. "What are you doing here?" You ask him, opening your door.

"I," he stops, "I don't know really." Bucky replies. You sigh, knowing why he came. It is the same reason you found yourself outside the compound a few nights ago, never entering, but watching. Hoping.

"I broke up with him." You say, monotone. Despite being sorry, Bucky smiles.

"I'm sorry doll." He says, trying to regain his composer.

"I know. Me too." You walk toward him and hug him tight. Resting your head on his chest, you let yourself cry again. Bucky silently, and almost understanding, rubs your back, calming you. Even if only slightly.

"I needed to do it. I wanted to do it. But that doesn't mean it made it any easier." You mutter into his chest, not wet from your tears.

"I know doll. I know." Bucky pauses, looking down at you. Ashamed of himself for being so happy that you ended things while you are this torn apart. "Why don't you go get into something more comfortable and we can watch movies. Eat some junk food?"

You nod, unlatching yourself from him. A few minutes later and far more comfortable, you curl up next to him on your couch. A couch that seems dwarfed in size when he sits on it. He never complains though. Wordlessly, you rest your head on his shoulder, him pulling you close. A comfortable silence passes between the two of you.

"Bucky?" You ask.

"Yeah doll?"

"Is it just me?" You don't ask anything else, knowing he will understand.

"No. It isn't just you." He replies.

You pause, not responding for a while. Bucky relaxes, arms still holding you to his side. Your question catches him off guard. "Will you kiss me?"

He freezes, unsure. "Are you sure?" He asks, wanting to know that this isn't something you will regret. Not when he just realized that he loves you.

Unknown to him, you have known that you have loved him for a while. The feeling of guilt creeping back before you remind yourself that you are single. "Yes." You answer, looking up at him, hopeful.

He nods, not saying anything else before he leans down. You meet him halfway. The smallest brushing of lips causes a series of shivers up and down your spine. Something you never felt with Jake. Gripping his shoulders, you pull him closer, letting out a small moan. He takes that as an invitation, his tongue entering your mouth, teasing yours.

Both of you smile into the deepened kiss, clutching onto one another, afraid that this is a dream. Unfortunately, both you and Bucky need to breathe. Pulling away, you rest your head once again on his chest, letting out a loud satisfied sigh. Bucky smiles wider. Never once did he think that the first time, he kissed you it would be that good.

"Bucky?" You pause, not really sure why you phrased his name as a question.

"[Y/N]?" He responds, heart hammering in his chest. You can feel it.

"I love you." You say, almost low enough that any normal person would have missed it, but you know he heard.

Bucky smiles again, heart hammering for a different reason now. He presses a light kiss to the top of your head. "I love you too doll."

I decided to take a different spin on this than I originally planned. I couldn't bring myself to write this the way I planned. So, you guys got this version instead. It is less sad.

~ Sam(antha)