One-Shots | Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers (and actors)

Covered in what? [b.b.]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Prompt: "Why are you on the floor, covered in ... is that, what is that?" (via me)
Warnings: language, humor, fluff, one mention of a drug, a lot of nothing really
A/N: I needed a pick me up and well, this is what happened. It's short. It deals with quarantine. It's all sass and humor. It's unedited.

You would have thought that everyone, seeing how they're never here, would be happy about the mandated quarantine. They weren't, you weren't, all of you were climbing the walls and you lived in a huge ass compound with endless activities.

Bruce and Tony have invented or improved upon far too many things for it to be normal, even for them. Of course, at this point, as long they don't make another murder bot, everyone is okay with it. Still, they may need to get off the hypothetical – hopefully – cocaine they were on so the rest of the team could sleep without being woken up by loud bangs and cursing.

You weren't one to talk though, you were seriously considering drawing on your walls because you ran out of paper a day ago and Steve refused to lend you any of his. If Bucky still had his silver arm you could've used a dry erase marker and drawn on it but last you checked, they didn't make white markers.

"Tony!" You're running to the lab as fast as you can because if anyone can do it, that bastard can. "I need you!"

"I'm WORKING!" Tony yells from behind his workspace, the parts littering the floor glimmering in the harsh lighting. Bruce doesn't even flinch when you burst through the door, his big Hulky self only sitting and messing with tools far too small for his hands.

"I need you to invent a white dry erase marker."

"Already been made sweets," he says, not even looking up.

"What! You're joking!"

"Nope," he says. "Friday, place an order for five white dry erase markers for Miss L/N."

"Right away boss," the AI says.

"Alright Y/N, stand right there." He stands, moving you to right where he wants you but before you can protest a blast goes off and you're covered.

"TONY!" You can barely see him turn to Bruce panicked.

"Run," he whispers, the two men sprinting from lab, Bruce's footsteps banging against the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL! TONY!"

You're not looking where you're running, too preoccupied with killing the men that covered you in an unknown goo, green goo. Just as you start to gain speed, so does the rate at which the goo is falling off. A loud thud echoes when you hit the ground, groaning.

Unfortunately, at that moment Bucky decides to grace you with his presence. "Um, doll? Why are you on the floor, covered in ... is that, what is that?"

"Ask the murder bot duo. Please kill them while you're at it."

"Y/N?" Natasha asks, ice cream almost slipping from her hand as she walks into the hall. "What the fuck is going on?"

"I'm covered in an unknown green goo courtesy of Tony and Bruce and thoroughly pissed. Lessons on the most painful ways to kill a man would be appreciated."

"Long or short version?" Nat asks while Bucky helps you up.

"Long, I'm going to have to scrub to get all this off."

"Um," Bucky clears his throat. "Did they by any chance tell you what the goo did?"

"No?"

"Well, darlin, it's dissolving your clothes."

"It's WHAT?"

He doesn't wait before throwing you over his shoulder and marching right back into his room. "Not to be that guy but no one else is going to get the privilege of seeing you naked today."

"I hate to break it to you but now you're covered in it too."

You can physically feel his shoulders slump. "Dammit, I really loved this shirt."

"I'll sleep it in it if there's any left."

"Deal," he says, setting you down. "Although I think I prefer it when you sleep naked."

"You're insatiable Buck," you smile.

"Only for you."