The Fire Inside

Chapter 22

You sat there and stared at the door. You weren't quite sure how long it had been since Arthur had gone.

Finally, you snapped out of your daydream.

You stood up, and decided to check this place out.

You looked in the bedroom. The bed looked comfortable. Probably not as comfortable as the one in Rhodes parlour house, but better than a cot.

Walking back into the main room, you noticed a large fireplace, with a big stone chimney-breast. It wasn't really cold enough to need a fire, besides, the smoke might attract attention.

Looking out the window, you realised how late it was, the sun was just setting. There was another door. When you opened it, you realised it lead outside onto a little dock overlooking the lake.

You stepped outside, then sat down on the edge of the dock, your legs dangling over the edge, just above the water. You couldn't help but look to the south, as you thought about Dutch.

Was he looking for you. Looking because he cared for you or because he cared about how much you were worth. Then there was Arthur. What did he really want, and how had you managed to make two people that cared for each other now hate each other so much. You pressed the heel of your hand against your forehead. Why were you feeling so confused. You liked it when Dutch wrapped his arms around you and made you feel safe. You liked it when Arthur had kissed you in the cabin. Was that love. How could you love two people at the same time. And marriage. Your mama, married your daddy. But he didn't love her. She'd ended up dead.

Right now you just wanted to run. Run to where though. You'd run from Dutch to Arthur, who said he just wanted a chance. Should you give him a chance? Trust him? You were tired of running. Tired of being used.

Looking at the lake, it was almost like a mirror, reflecting the dying rays of the sun. You couldn't see below the surface.

You stood up, and walked to the end of the jetty. It looked deep. With one final look at the setting sun, you smiled and stepped off the edge, the weight of your gun, dragging you down into the dark water. Just before the water covered your head, you thought you heard someone call your name, but by then it was too late.

Living on a ranch, you had never learnt to swim. When you tried to open your eyes, it made them sting. It felt like someone was crushing your chest. As you opened your mouth to scream, the pain got worse, and darkness enveloped you.

You felt a crushing pain in your chest, as you finally gulped in air. You coughed, and felt as though you were being sick, but water gushed out your mouth instead. You groaned, then darkness took you once again.

The next time you woke, the pain in your chest was gone, but you were cold. When you opened your eyes, you realised you were in a tent. You started to sob, tears running down your face.

"Hush now, its ok," Susan soothed you gently.

You looked at the face you recognised, this was the last place you wanted to be.

"I... I can't do this anymore," you sobbed.

Susan sat down next to you on the cot and wrapped her arms around you.

"Its ok Blair, you don't have to," she soothed.

You suddenly felt Susan stiffen.

"I told you to get out," she yelled, "get out and stay out,"

After a few seconds her voice softened again.

"Its ok sweetheart, I'm gonna look after you," she soothed, "just try and rest."