Jane |UTA| [ Re-Write ]

goodbye grudge ✍︎

Jane followed after the teen as she slowly made her way toward a nearby bridge. She gave her the space she needed, knowing what it felt like once to be conflicted with so many emotions.

It was going into March, the snow was melting yet the cold air from winter lingered in their surroundings, yet here Jane was, three months pregnant chasing after a temperamental, teenage ghoul.

Finally, just as the moon was rising from the horizon, Touka was leaning against the edge of the bridge, placed exactly in the middle.

"You're gonna have Uta on both of our backs after this" Jane huffed in exhaustion as she rested beside the ghoul.

"I don't care, I can't believe he's risking his own kind for someone like you. A human, CCG at that",

Jane stiffened as the girl scoffed.

"I found out weeks ago, my teacher -Kurokawa- said hi" Touka drawled with an etch of anger nicking her tone.

"Yui... I haven't seen her in over ten years" Jane whistled.

"Why's that? She said you were friends",

"I guess I went through a lot at the time. I wasn't... stable after I left Japan" Jane hesitantly confessed.

"What? Did your murderer-of-a-dad die and suddenly it was too much?",

"Yeah, when the guy you like kill your father it takes a toll-",

"Then why are you here?-" Touka growled, "- he said you forgave him, why? Are you mentally disabled?".

Jane shook her head against her chuckles, staring at the young girl through her lashes while trying to comprehend the headstrong ghoul before her.

"God, you remind me of me. I was stubborn, cold, indifferent to those around me after I left for France. Imagine, you find out your best friend -the only person who ever understood you- was the thing you feared the most and you still love them despite the hate you should feel. For ten years I tried to hate him and every ghoul suddenly had his face. I was at the top of my class, Special Class at twenty-six, next thing you know I'm relying on a bottle of wine to get me to sleep. I think if I didn't come back I would've died at one point",

"That doesn't answer my question" the ghoul growled to receive a deep, tired sigh.

"Then you're not old enough to hear it. If that's not an answer I don't know what is" Jane shrugged.

"I am old enough!",

"No! You can't understand and when you're mature enough to speak me as something more than dirt under your shoe and dismiss the cynical attitude, we can talk... like adults".

Jane had nothing more to say. She left the ghoul who remained completely silent after the her outburst and unable to fully comprehend the words which were spoken.

Did she get through to her? Did she change the teen in any way? What exactly did her words accomplish?...

It must've been something because she heard footsteps follow after her.

_________ ✍︎

Jane returned to the CCG, the detectors never going off like usual but this time, Arima was waiting patiently on the seats next to reception. They hadn't spoken in months and her heart suddenly weighed heavily as she clocked the equally ranked Investigator.

She wished she could ignore him and refuse the existence of his towering form. However, she was an adult, and adults maturely faced their problems with their heads held high.

"Can we talk at lunch?" The man asked, his head slightly lowered as the reflection in his glasses hid the potent emotion staining his grey orbs

Jane breathed out a deep exhale through pursed lips.

"Yeah, Yeah, I can do that" she tried to smile.

"Good, I'll see you then" Arima timelessly nodded before turning a full ninety degrees and leaving Jane in the dust.

For the rest of the day, the Special Class Investigator sat beside an abandoned desk and updated reports. Normally, she would be down at the CCG gym, patrolling or drinking jug-loads of coffee. However, pregnancy limited her options as she watched those around her do their duty.

But even if she was beating down ghouls her stomach would drop with guilt. Her boyfriend was a ghoul, the people in her life were ghouls, her child would be a ghoul, the human would forever be burdened a moral culpability.

"Ja... Jan... Jane!", the Investigator jumped from her skin, her hand pressed heavily against her heart.

"Oh my God Kishou!" She exclaimed in fright,

"I didn't mean to scare you, it's just lunch" he stated.

"Oh... I didn't realise" she chuckled.

"Don't worry, do you need help with your bag?",

The woman's eyes flickered to her handbag. Make up, files she brought home, her phone, other necessities; it  was all brought together to weigh onto her shoulder.

"Thank you" Jane sighed in relief.

"It's no problem, considering your... condition".

As they walked from the CCG and toward a nearby café, the atmosphere between them somehow reverted back to how it was: light and familiar.

"How is the...",

"It's a girl" Jane smiled lightly to watch a flicker of pain barely captured behind his grey eyes.

"Congratulations",

"God, I already feel like I've heard that too much already" she huffed into a chuckle.

"What do you want me to say then?" Arima practically growled, his voice dropping to something dangerous as Jane suddenly locked her arm with his.

"Anything... I don't want to hold grudges. I miss you" she murmured as if a child.

"I'm sorry-",

"Wait, say that louder" she interrupted with a disbelieving yet teasing tone.

"I'm. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you, you're not seventeen anymore, I should've known better. I was... I was just worried",

"Well you don't have to, I'm not my dad-", Arima stiffened, "- I'm happy but I need you, I want you in my life, in my child's life".

While they walked, Jane allowed his hand to skim over her bump.

"You're my best friend and I want to make Uncle Ki happen" she giggled before stepping into the café.

"Yes... I wouldn't mind that".

But if he could, the Investigator certainly wouldn't be an uncle.