DESTINATION

COMMUNITY

"Some say they know me

Some never bothered entirely

If I'm that guy from that community,

should I be labelled with the same identity?"

-100318

I really don't understand the way things work around here in this world. They tell you that you can speak your mind, but they're also the ones that try their best to bring you down. Immoral acts getting treated like it is moral, and those in men in uniform are also the ones not following the law. Then the common people are also a pain in the ass sometimes.

That's why as much as possible, I do what I do best, be invisible. Thankfully, some technological advances made me forget about this shitty community. One of it is the creation of functioning AIs. Gin has been a big help to the business, and even to me. I only task Gin to work on typing and organizing files. I still want to do most of the things on my own. I still write in notepads and notebooks to this day, there's something special about it. I can't actually figure it out, I just like holding them rather than a virtual one.

But in the case of writing poems for the customers' requests, I write it first and just read it out loud for Gin to type in the computer. I just find typing things that I've already written boring and redundant. From there on, I reread what I did and look for mistakes and things I could improve upon.

It's really helpful but the drastic change in technology took the population by storm. Now, everyone's on their phones, and pretty much everybody would rather talk with their respective AI's and internet friends.

Unlike me though, unlike me. I'm not a special snowflake by any means, that doesn't exist in the Philippines after all. I just appreciate the simplicity of the past. Also, there's nothing quite like their music, hard/soft bound books, going to actual cinemas rather than Netflix, and all that. But at the same time, I make good use of the technological advancements to help me make proper use of my time. I really just want to keep things organized.

It is hard keeping things organized these days. After everything fell apart between me and her, it's really hard to keep myself together. I've tried a lot of things to somehow forget her, and just take her off my mind. I started reading more books, drawing things, writing journal entries, and even trying those dating sites.

And guess what, I'm terrible at them. Who uses a dating site to find friends? It's hard and I'm not good with socializing to others. I do have friends, my squad in college are now far away. My best friends vaporized for some weird reason that they didn't even bother to tell me. My siblings are always tired and busy most of the time. And I got no one by myself to share these stories with.

It's really hard when you have these unfiltered thoughts all over your head and the only one who really listens to them is already gone. What makes it harder is that all of my spots, where I go to relax myself are also our spots. I brought her there with me and I told her why I loved those random places. Like this random 7-Eleven in ASEANA where I spend most of my time writing poems and reading books when I was in college. I discovered the place when I was in my last year in high school. Me and my siblings went out for a jog and decided to walk pass ASEANA. For someone who lives in small spaces, I was blown away by the tall buildings, trees at every corner, and just fresh air. It's a 2o-minute walk from our place, and I used to go there every weekend. It's not just the place that got me hooked with Aseana. There are times where I just want to go far away from reality. And what better way to teleport to another dimension but drinking coffee and reading books. But I can't come back to those places with the same peace I used to have. Every time I see those places, it's her beautiful smile that I always remember. The random stories we shared at those seats and streets. Wherever I go, there's a shadow of us, shadow of her, and the shadow of my happiness just looming behind me, waiting to take over my existence.

That's why I started going to places I've never been in, but still, for some reason I still see her. Like the Coffee shop near the mall, it's not hidden but it rarely gets jam-packed with people. There are even times where I'm the only customer, and it just makes me feel at home. But there's this part of me wishing she gets to see the beauty of these places too. She loves looking at street lights and decor that are shining so bright. And I love looking the way she smiles and move whenever she sees one.

But I need to continue, maybe be invisible for now in this lovely city. Here I am, smoking another cigarette in the streets of Manila and listening to one of my jams in my Burn Playlist, Learn to Fly by the Foo Fighters. It's a wonderful evening for the people who pass by with smiles on their faces, a melancholic one for some who are chasing cars, and there's me.

"Looking for a sign of life", in a community that put me behind bars, making me an alien not even from Mars.