"We made it, to the edge
but it's the edge
of the knives on your fingers
that kept me, running
that pushed me, to nothing
that took me, to the ending
now I'm at the edge, one inch away from falling"
-101218
It's been days, weeks, or maybe months that I'm in this zone I'm in. There are days that I thought I'm moving forward, but I just keep coming back to this same old chair outside the house we're living in. No matter how high the decibel of the song playing, I can't brush away the sound of memories devouring me to the familiar silence devouring me from within.
I'm right here again, sitting in the same chair outside, for probably the 30th consecutive night, listening to my Burn Playlist, specially the songs "Lost Stars", "Starlight", and "Madness". As my eyes are glued to the stars from above, with a cigarette on my left hand, and the sound of madness rocking inside of what's left of my heart.
I realized that the moment that everything between us fell apart was nothing compared to this one. The worst feeling is when you try to pick up every piece on the ground and putting them back together, knowing that it will never be the same again.
Every piece of me, unlike what I was before, all of it is broken. Some got stepped on by random beings passing by, some flied with every smoke I breathe in and out of my lungs, and some piece remained with her.
No matter how hard I try to put myself back together, the sharp edges from these pieces bury themselves deep within my skin. To the point that I got used to it, but I wasn't numb all those time.
A thought suddenly popped in my head.
I don't want to feel pain, no more pain ever again.
YOU ARE READING
DESTINATION
RomanceA coming of age story following a guy who tries to move on after ending his long relationship while trying to work his life out all on his own.
