DESTINATION

BALLOON

"the balloon

will never know

where else to go

once you let go"

-101818

"Never let me go."

"I won't, as long as you won't go."

­­­It was a scorching morning to say the least. Someone must've pissed off the sun to bring this hell of a breeze. To cap it all off, I'm wearing a blue polo and shorts that used to be a pants. This summed up to the making of a sweaty rain all over my body. It's like getting cooked in an oven. Oven, that's actually Philippines in a nutshell. Seven thousand, one hundred and seven ovens waiting to cook those who are brave enough to travel during the day.

It's already 8 in the morning, and we are supposed to meet before 8. I just arrived at the station, and there are a good amount of people waiting for the train too. I thought I'm doomed, until I received a text message.

"I'm running late. Be there in 20 minutes. Take care L!"

She's late too, but she will still reach our meeting place faster than I will. I decided to save the reply later on once I get on the train.

I hopped on the train 3 minutes later, together with the unwilling warriors heading to another mini oven. What I hate about the trains here is that, there are instances where in the air conditioning doesn't work. And lucky me, I got into one where it's even hotter inside compared to outside.

As the door closes, I know that there really is no escape. I can't be picky in this situation. I'm already late and I have to take what I can get at the moment. I'm trying to pretend that I'm alright, even though I'm sweating like how the clouds cry during a typhoon.

No matter how long and how thorough I clean myself, it is no match to the malfunctioning air condition, a crowd that's even sweatier than I am, and just makes me feel so unclean that I was before I took my bath.

No matter how much I tried to look human and smell good, it is no match to this oven within an oven. Ovenception as I'd like to call it.

Riding a train always gives me see beauty out of it, no matter how flawed each one can be. There's something with riding a train, a perfect playlist, and thinking about life.

After a couple of stations, the space got a little bit wider. I decided to remain standing for my stop is already near. I can now move more than a needle. I chose to move closer to the door, the other one that doesn't open at every stop. I chose to listen to the soundtrack of Begin Again, it's one of my go-to playlist while inside the train. Other playlists that I listen during this kind of travel are the Sing Street and Your Name soundtrack.

I chose to play "A step you can take back" for the very existence of the line here comes the train. While I am listening and occasionally lip syncing, I laid my head on the door's mirror and watch the establishments, houses, and people that quickly leave my vision.

It's funny that we're still here. We really had an awful fight, the worst one yet I guess. Not funny though, I just don't know what to feel right now.

My friends lectured me all about it. I listened but even though I know they are right, I decided to stay. I still believe in her even after everything that happened last time. The air is really filling me right now, telling me to stop. Bit by bit I'm getting bigger, as the sides get thinner and thinner. I wouldn't be shock if this time I pop easily.

But I have to take that back for a moment, I decided to continue, and I can never take this step back. I don't know if we can really begin again. But for now, I decided to fade into the void of this train, lost in the thoughts of how broken I am, and trying to not show any bit of pain, as I get closer to my destination.