DESTINATION

DROP

"is starting over

picking up the pieces?

or is it about

creating new ones?"

-102218

I don't know what day it is, but everything feels so fresh up to this point in time. I'm at a bar again, probably the tenth consecutive day for all I know. I can barely see anything now, the drowsiness is really taking over me as seconds go by. But instead of calling it a night, I just decided to order another shot after another.

A few moments later, my brother I think came charging at me while screaming words that I could barely read. Everything was a blur and I think he wants me to go home, but who the hell is he to tell me what to do.

His grip on my shoulder got tighter and he wouldn't even budge.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Stop this childish sht you're playing. Go home!"

"You're the one who is using other people to cope up with your pain. Guess we're both childish huh?"

"What did you just fucking say?"

"I said you're a fucking asshole who doesn't care what he destroys!"

And for all I know, I'm getting my ass kicked by my brother in front of people who didn't even bother to stop us. Instead, they chose to bet who wins, and who dies. I guess no one betted on me that time, but well I won. I won a fine of a thousand after I pushed my brother to a table filled with glassware.

We were both kicked out of the bar, and we paid the utensils we broke. We both woke up from the shit that just happened. We both have a few cuts on our face, and in my brother's case, he has a few on his shoulders after I pushed him.

He took out a cigarette, one for the both of us. And he spoke after a few minutes.

"I'm sorry. You're right, I'm an asshole. A douchebag."

"No bro, I'm the asshole, I'm the douche bag."

"Nah, maybe we both are."

He smiled as he shouldered me on our way home. For once, I saw in his eyes the older brother that he rarely shows. We're just a year apart and we sort of grew up as twins who wears parallel clothes and play the same games. Now we are both broken assholes who went on a separate path in terms of life. But to see him take care of me like that opened ny eyes to what I become. I'm at the worst state that I ever was and it is affecting everything that is important to me.

As we got home, my sister was mad at first, but we laughed it all out right after.

"L, clean yourself and go check if there are requests that we have to work on."

"Okay sis. On it."

Like always do, I start from the bottom of the requests board to make sure that I get each one correctly. The first request that I read was written like this.

"I would like to ask for help in writing a poetry or a meaningful message to the girl that I love the most. Tell her that she's worth everything, every bit of me, every second of my life, the Audrey Hepburn to my James Dean. And most importantly, end it by telling her how the hell did she just dropped everything, drop me. What a fucking bitch. Fuck."

Well that wasn't new. There are a few cases that the requests are just pure hate messages, and we just ignore it for it violates the essence of the work we have. I tried to reread the message all over again just to fully understand how something sweet escalated quickly to a crazy message. This guy must be drunk or bitter for all I know. What a fucking moron. Or maybe he's just like me? Well, that makes him really a moron.

I reread the message one last time until my vision got a bit clearer. There I noticed that the message came from the moron who is currently reading the request.