SGANF #3: Shh, I Have A Secret

Chapter 3

Media:  Song Joong Ki as Nathan/Nate

"NATE!" I exclaimed. It's as if something was blocking my airway and I couldn't breathe.

"That's it, An. Always remember that feeling when you call him like that." Nangislap ang luha sa mukha nito na nasisinagan ng ilaw mula sa lamp shade. Pinahid nito ang mga luha para palitan lang ng panibagong pagtulo niyon.

She was sobbing and hurting and I felt so helpless because I couldn't do anything to ease her pain it frustrated me. Ako man ay umiiyak dahil sa kanyang nararamdaman.

"I want you to promise me something." Halos hindi ko siya maintindihan dahil sa kanyang paghikbi-hikbi subalit nakinig pa rin ako ng maigi, kahit doon man lang ay makatulong ako.

"When you meet Nate...mahalin mo siya. Make him love you. Huwag mo siyang sasaktan."

"A-ate Ren..." paano kong gagawin iyon?

I don't have any intention in meeting him, lalo pa ang mahalin siya. Nathan is not one of my plans in life. Wala akong planong pakinggan ang puso ko dahil mas gusto kong pagtuunan ng pansin ang buhay namin ni ate Jam ko.

"Mamahalin mo siya, An. Alam kong mamahalin mo siya at alam ko mamahalin ka rin niya. 'Yong hindi ko natapos, gusto kong ipagpatuloy mo. I don't want to do this but I can't leave him like that. I know he's hurting right now but I can't do anything anymore, An. Why me? What did I do para parusahan ako nang ganito? Gusto ko lang magmahal at mahalin, 'yon lang naman ang hiling ko pero bakit Niya ako sinasaktan nang ganito? Madamot ang Diyos, An...dinamutan ako."

Ano'ng sasabihin ko? Ano'ng pinagsasabi nito? What's Nathan have got to do with all this? Nalilito ako subalit hindi ako makapagtanong. Ayokong dumagdag sa sakit na nararamdaman nito ngayon. All I can do is to listen.

"Promise me, An?" her weary eyes are so heart breaking. Her thin face is enough to make me shut my reasoning and say yes to whatever she says. Her bony fingers that used to combed my long hair are so fragile it looks like they're going to break any second. My heart pounded hard and raced wildly.

"I'm sorry, An. I'm so sorry... I hope you'll forgive me someday. I want you to know that I love you. You're a sister I never had." Mahina at pahinto-hinto nitong sabi.

I'm scared. I can see her breathing slowly fading away . She's trying so hard to gasp for air but it seems like that air is taunting her and not wanting her to get a little bit of it. I quickly grabbed the control on the headboard of the bed and pushed the red button. Mabilis at paulit-ulit. Alam kong namumuti ako sa takot, kinikilabutan sa inaasahang mangyayari at hindi ako makahinga. God, no, please no!

"A-an...prom--mise...love him...I'm sorry..." kahit nahihirapan na itong huminga, matiim pa rin itong nakatitig sa akin na para bang ako lang ang pinakaimportanteng tao sa buhay nito na ayaw niyang mawala sa kanyang paningin.

Everyone rushed to her bed. Her parents, the caregiver, ang mga katulong at kasambahay namin. Even her doctor came at hindi ko alam kung bakit gano'n kabilis itong nakarating, marahil ay tinawagan na ito bago pa man mangyari ito. Did they have the hunch that it'll be tonight? Nanginig ako. Kung anu-ano ang itinurok at ikinabit sa kanya. I even heard an ambulance coming, nabibingi ako sa ingay ng sirena nito.

Kahit maingay sa kuwarto dahil sa paghihisterya ni Tita Joan, I couldn't hear a bit of the commotion inside. All my concentration was focused to ate Ren. Ang mga mata nitong nakatingin pa rin sa akin at kahit hindi na ito gumagalaw, o humihinga. Parang nakikita ko pa rin ang paggalaw ng kanyang labi na sinasabi ang mga katagang narinig ko kanina. 'Promise me. Promise. Promise!'