Living In Oblivion

32

Sitting in the small hall, Divit kept his gaze fixed on Avanti, who avoided meeting his eyes. The atmosphere was heavy with silence, punctuated only by the ticking of the clock, which seemed to echo in their hearts, reminding them the world was real and so was the time.

"Where is he?" Divit's voice cracked as he struggled to swallow the lump in his throat.

Avanti, her hands trembling, replied softly, "Office."

Her palms itched and twisted like her heart and she found it difficult to breathe. In front of her was the same face she was fearing from days, the same face that haunted her nights, the same face that spat the story of her failure. She felt too small to even meet his eye.

Divit felt a sense of emptiness engulf him. He struggled to find the right words, unsure of what exactly to ask. He felt frozen, as if his entire being had come to a standstill. The weight on his heart made his words feel small.

"Why did you do it?" His voice was exceptionally calm, devoid of any emotion.

Avanti struggled to find words. How could she explain herself? What could she explain and what was left to explain? She almost felt dizzy with apprehensions. Sometimes, time plays such unexpected games, knocking at your door when you least expect it.

"I had to," she finally managed to say, her voice cracking. She looked up at him for the first time, and he took in her appearance. She appeared weak and pale, her once radiant complexion now dulled, and dark circles under her eyes deeper than before.

"Did someone force you?" Divit's voice remained devoid of emotion, his eyes still, giving nothing away.

"No," Avanti replied truthfully, unable to lie.

Divit gasped, inaudibly, his face contorting with shock. Breathing became difficult as the weight of the revelation settled upon him. He wanted her to lie. If this was the truth-this was her truth, he didn't want to hear.

"Why?" he mumbled, his voice filled with tears. "Why, Avanti? Why?"

A sob escaped Avanti's lips before she could control herself, and she immediately covered her mouth to stifle her tears. She fought the urge to break down completely, though tears glistened in her golden-brown eyes.

It pained her, but she knew she was the one to blame.

Avanti took a deep breath, ready to share the truth. There was no other way.

"It was my mother," she began, her voice choked with emotion. "She passed away."

Divit gasped, his hand covering his face, his eyes widening with the news. It was overwhelming, too much to bear.

"When?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"After I got married, on the eighteenth,"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was all a mess," Avanti looked away. She couldn't bear to see the accusation growing in his eyes with every word exchanged and every passing second.

"And I wasn't allowed to be a part of your mess?" Divit's question held more doubt than he intended.

She didn't reply. She had no answers. And she had no courage to tell him excuses laced with burdens of cruel destiny. Because she knew it was her. The fault and the accusation- it belonged to her, solely her.

"What happened, Avanti?" Divit asked, wiping the sweat from his face. He needed answers.

Avanti looked up, ready to share the truth. There was no other way."My mother left hope that she would survive," she began. "The days passed, and the doctors said she was getting better, but I could see that we were losing her. I could feel it. She was fading away. One day, she asked me to get married before she passed away. She told me that my worries were holding her back from finding peace- from getting lost into oblivion." Avanti paused briefly, then continued, her voice choking "I refused. I told her I couldn't. She asked me if it was because of you, if I loved you-?."