Living In Oblivion

38

Sliding the window pane closed, Avanti drew a smiley against the foggy glass and leaned back in her seat, a faint smile spread across her lips. Her eyes drifted to Divit's still face beside her, and she sighed, blinking away her thoughts. He had been sleeping for hours, leaning comfortably on the headrest, his hands folded, while she couldn't sleep at all.

Her eyes captured the heights of the trees and the expanse of the sky as they journeyed towards the unknown. Her heart brimmed with questions, and with each passing second, her anxiety grew. She couldn't help but replay the events of the previous night in her mind over and over again. All she wanted was to stay within the confines of her cozy room and never venture beyond the walls she had built for herself.

She had no problem with moving on, but she was scared to leave things behind. There was very little left, but whatever remained was precious. It was precious to have no expectations, to build hope from shattered pieces, to cherish what she had and learn to be content with it. She was slowly learning to expect less, to accept her circumstances, and find happiness in them. Now, it was all at stake again.

When morning arrived with a new sun, she couldn't find warmth in its rays, and the disappointment in Divit's eyes chilled her to the bone. She felt like a loser trying to win a game she didn't belong to. So, she took a leap of faith and told him she would come.

As the bus jerked to an abrupt stop, Avanti's gaze darted back outside the window. Her stomach churned as they entered the boundaries of Gurugram. The wind felt stranger than ever as she slid open the window and shivered, peering out at the busy roads covered in a blanket of smog, dim lights shining in the darkness of the night.

She smiled softly as she traced the familiar old shops and observed the new showrooms. Though the roads were better than before and the buildings taller than expected, the city still felt the same. The same hustle and bustle, the same omelette stalls, the same open Tibetan wool markets, and the same taxis rushing by.

Her eyes sparkled as the bus took a highway, and her old office stood tall before her. Her heart raced, and tears glistened in her eyes as she read the name but frowned at the changes in the structure.

"It's been four years. They underwent renovations," Divit's voice reached her ears, making her turn to him immediately.

"You're awake," she said.

"The wind. It's cold," he replied, eyeing the open window as he zipped up his jacket to his neck.

Apologizing immediately, she slid the window pane closed. "I'm sorry, I..."

"Relax," he nodded at her before standing up and going to the conductor to request a stop at the first circle after entering the city.

Avanti's eyes followed him, and she realized it wasn't just the burden of expectations that was at stake now. It was much more. It was him, and she was on the line.

There were things left unsaid, hidden beneath sealed lips and closed hearts. There were topics left unquestioned and unanswered, and silence had won all the battles of time until now. She was afraid to look at the possibilities the words could unleash.

With the zero grudges and no hatred he was treating her, and it made her question herself every time. It increased her guilt every time he would look at her like she was no wrong.

She hated the fact that she didn't hate herself for doing him wrong and he didn't hate her for being wrong but what she despised the most was that he understood- it felt like, he understood with time.

As Divit waved his hand to catch her attention and called out to her, she hurriedly picked up her backpack and struggled to retrieve the bag from the overhead compartment. Another man stood up to help her, but Divit rushed to her side and took the bag before she could. Holding her hand, he pulled her towards the door, standing near the stairs after opening it, but letting go of her hand.

His touch still sent a rush through her as she jumped down when the bus stopped. Throwing the luggage bag over his shoulder, Divit strode quickly to hail an auto. Avanti followed behind, matching his steps as he waved his arm to signal the auto to stop.

As they sat inside, Divit told the driver the address, and Avanti was transported back to the memories of a place that had once been her home. The auto moved at a normal speed, crossing the blanket of fog that covered the city, claiming it for the night. They traveled along the silent roads, delving deep into the peculiarity of life, and her heart raced faster—anxious, excited, scared, and much more.

After paying the driver, they stepped out, and Divit's inquisitive gaze caught sight of Avanti's nervous posture. Despite the silence, he walked ahead without uttering a word, and she followed closely, unsure of what else to do. She couldn't quite describe her feelings.

Entering the familiar walls of comfort, Avanti glanced around as Divit switched on the lights. To her surprise, there was nothing scattered about. The washbasin was empty, and there were no clothes strewn on the sofa or the table. No towel hung over the door to dry. Everything seemed orderly.

The calm pinched her.

Divit observed her shifting gaze, from the basin to the sofa, the table, and the floor. The evident surprise in her eyes made him want to laugh. Shaking his head, he dropped the bags and went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water.

"You've changed so much over time," she couldn't help but say as she sat on the sofa.

Divit suppressed a smile and turned to her, filling another glass of water and walking back to her. "So have you," he said, blinking.

"But you've changed for the better," she met his gaze.

A lopsided smile formed on his lips, and he continued to stare at her for a while. He wondered about the definition of changing for the better. Looking at the strong woman before his eyes, he couldn't help but think about his vulnerable self. Clearing his throat, he looked away and handed her the glass.

"It's late. I'll go to sleep. The room is open," he gestured to the other side. "Change and get comfortable. We'll talk tomorrow."

Avanti, understanding everything he was trying to avoid, called out to him as she watched him walk away. "Divit."

Turning back, he raised an eyebrow.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He stared at her a little longer, blinked and left without replying.